Shop with us!!! We sell the most advanced skin care anti-aging cosmetics on the market: cellex-c, phytomer, sothys, dermalogica, md formulations, decleor, valmont, kinerase, yonka, jane iredale, thalgo, yon-ka, ahava, bioelements, jan marini, peter thomas roth, murad, ddf, orlane, glominerals, StriVectin SD.
 
 back to skin care discussion board front page with forums indexEDS Skin Care Forums Search the ForumSearch Most popular all-time Forum TopicsHot! Library
 Guidelines  FAQ  Register
Free gifts for Forum MembersForum Gifts Free Gifts offers at Essential Day SpaFree Gifts Offers  Log in



Phyto-C SuperHeal O-Live Lotion (30 g / 1 floz) Bioelements Calmitude Hydrating Solution (118 ml / 4 floz) StriVectin Repair & Protect Moisturizer Broad Spectrum SPF 30 (50 ml / 1.7 floz)
My warped world....
EDS Skin Care Forums Forum Index » EDS Lounge
Reply to topic
Author Message
Candy8865
VIP Member
20% products discount
free skin care

View user's profileSend private message
Joined: 03 Jan 2006
Posts: 1462
Sat Mar 11, 2006 6:24 pm      Reply with quote
Not sure if everyone here can or will appreciate the humor here....personally, I thought it was pretty funny, but I'm a twisted bunny most of the time Wink Laughing

So you thought police officers didn't have a sense of humor?.... The following were taken off of actual police car videos around the country:

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14 "Take your hands off the car again and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh. Did I mention that I am the shift super-
visor?

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey $#*!."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

AND yes, the best one

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't... Sign! here."
*Love this one...

_________________
Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. ~ Voltaire www.Candessence.com
MACrisis
Preferred Member
15% products discount
free skin care

View user's profileSend private message
Joined: 23 Nov 2005
Posts: 857
Sat Mar 11, 2006 6:29 pm      Reply with quote
That's not humor. It's sarcastic and MEAN!!!

_________________
53, DermaQuest, NCN Products, PMD, Dermarolling
Chrissie
VIP Member
20% products discount
free skin care

View user's profileSend private message
Joined: 23 Dec 2005
Posts: 1065
Sat Mar 11, 2006 6:39 pm      Reply with quote
I LOVED THEM ALL!!!!! Thanks for the laugh!!!

_________________
46 yrs old, I live at the beach and love being out in the sun.
Lifeplyr01
Preferred Member
15% products discount
free skin care

View user's profileSend private message
Joined: 23 Sep 2004
Posts: 680
Sun Mar 12, 2006 6:04 pm      Reply with quote
<chuckling>, thanks for the laugh..hehe Laughing

_________________
Early 40's, normal/dry, Oily T zone (summer) fine lines, hyperpigmentation
Ruth
Preferred Member
15% products discount
free skin care

View user's profileSend private message
Joined: 03 Sep 2005
Posts: 948
Mon Mar 13, 2006 4:05 am      Reply with quote
Hilarious!

_________________
Location: Denmark. Me = 32, think I'm combo without oiliness + sometimes sensitive. Have noticed that skin doesn't heal as quickly anymore and I've developed fine lines around my eyes... Hormonal breakouts which are sometimes cystic. PCOS
pbsadhaka
Preferred Member
15% products discount
free skin care

View user's profileSend private message
Joined: 01 Jul 2004
Posts: 721
Mon Mar 13, 2006 4:42 am      Reply with quote
Laughing Soooooo funny! My SO is a police officer & will get the biggest kick out of these. Thanks for posting them!
Smile

_________________
Pure Skin Formulations, LLC | http://www.psfskincare.com
tiger_tim
VIP Member
20% products discount
free skin care

View user's profileSend private message
Joined: 22 Apr 2004
Posts: 2634
Mon Mar 13, 2006 5:59 am      Reply with quote
oooh... #1 a crushing blow.. Laughing but I must say my FAVORITE was:

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want." rofl
rosebud
VIP Member
20% products discount
free skin care

View user's profileSend private message
Joined: 24 Mar 2005
Posts: 2829
Mon Mar 13, 2006 8:02 am      Reply with quote
Laughing I have family in the police and these quotes are spot on.... Very Happy

_________________
oily/acne prone - acne scars on chin area/Large Pores in winter. Oily in Summer. Fair, nuetral/cool complexion, burn easily. Early 20s
The Jerk
New Member

View user's profileSend private message
Joined: 15 Mar 2006
Posts: 8
Fri Mar 17, 2006 11:28 am      Reply with quote
A little tale I heard from a friend of mine who went over to the states.

He was driving through Nowheresville in middle america when a cop pulled him over and told him to 'Get outta the car and adopt the attitude'.

My friend got out of the car, and not knowing what the cop was referring to, asked him innocently 'Adopt the attitude?'.
'Yeah' said the cop, 'Stick your hands up, you asshole'
My friend misunderstood and replied, horrified,

'Stick my hands up my asshole???'
The Jerk
New Member

View user's profileSend private message
Joined: 15 Mar 2006
Posts: 8
Fri Mar 17, 2006 11:31 am      Reply with quote
Actually, I have just re-read that last post and I don't think it makes much sense...I am sure tha cop must have said 'Get outta the car and adopt the position'

Ah well....I should proof read these posts before I submit them...but, you know....they don't call me The Jerk for nothing.
System
Automatic Message
Wed Oct 23, 2019 9:48 am
If this is your first visit to the EDS Forums please take the time to register. Registration is required for you to post on the forums. Registration will also give you the ability to track messages of interest, send private messages to other users, participate in Gift Certificates draws and enjoy automatic discounts for shopping at our online store. Registration is free and takes just a few seconds to complete.

Click Here to join our community.

If you are already a registered member on the forums, please login to gain full access to the site.

Reply to topic



Skin Biology Protect & Restore High Retinol and Oil of Lavender - Large (113.4 g / 4 oz) Phyto-C Phyto Gel (15 ml / 0.5 floz) BDB The Jet Setter (3 items)