| Author |
Message |
|
|
|
Sun Jul 02, 2006 12:52 pm  Quote |
Hello lovelies,
I recently found out that my b/f has recently joined a p-o-r-n site called sucicide girls. He was checking his email and I saw it. He told me he only joined for a month.
Should I tell him that this bothers me and tell him to quit or should I just break up with him?
Besides that, he does not smoke or drink or gamble, Loves me, respect me, and does everything I ask of him most times. |
_________________
22,even complexion, oily but few breakouts (most break out occurs after breakups, bad grades, and red cycle time);/ |
|
|
|
|
Sun Jul 02, 2006 1:01 pm Quote |
Everyone has some vice. I'm a little (ok alot) disturbed by the type of p-o-r-n he apparently is into.
I am not a fan of p-o-r-n at all. I think it's gross and degrading to ALL parties involved. That being said, if everything else about him & your relationship is positive, why end it? You can let your feelings be known, but giving him an ultimatum 'me or the p-o-r-n' will only force him to lie & hide things from you. B/c he won't stop looking at it - he'll just make sure you are no where around when he does.
My feeling is I'd rather have an open & honest relationship even if I don't like some things that he does - than be in 1 where we felt we had to keep things from each other.
Just my opinion.
LOL - had to edit b/c apparently p-o-r-n is a no-no word here, roflmao!! |
_________________
Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. ~ Voltaire www.Candessence.com |
|
|
|
|
Sun Jul 02, 2006 1:04 pm Quote |
candy,
I know. lol
Thank you for your advice. I don't mind that he looks at ------------, since every guy tend to drift into it every now and then. It just bothers me that he actually JOINED it. I don't know how to bring it up.
How can I bring this up? SHould I just come out and tell him it bothers me and just let him do whatever next? IF I tell him it bothers me, wouldn't he be more tempted to look into those sites?
These kind of things make me want to be single. sigh  |
_________________
22,even complexion, oily but few breakouts (most break out occurs after breakups, bad grades, and red cycle time);/ |
|
|
|
|
Sun Jul 02, 2006 2:08 pm Quote |
| glistenxz wrote: |
candy,
I know. lol
Thank you for your advice. I don't mind that he looks at ------------, since every guy tend to drift into it every now and then. It just bothers me that he actually JOINED it. I don't know how to bring it up.
You can't let the fact he actually joined bug you too much. Those sites are specifically setup to whet your whistle then shut ya down. Boys don't take kindly to that kind of deprivation, lol.
How can I bring this up? SHould I just come out and tell him it bothers me and just let him do whatever next? IF I tell him it bothers me, wouldn't he be more tempted to look into those sites?
Well, you said that he told you that he joined. Bring it back up - no reason to dance around it, it's not like you poked into his email w/o his knowledge. He knows you know. But b4 you tell him it bothers you be sure to ask yourself 1st WHY it bothers you. And sometimes, you just suck it up. If he's not obsessive about it and isn't expecting you to participate maybe you just drop it. If was becoming a problem, or tremendously affecting your relationship or even how he functions daily look at it like the other gross stuff they do {gas, nose picking, package arranging, butt picking} be disgusted by it & leave it be.
He's going to look regardless of you talking to him about it or not. Not that you saying something will cause him to look more, just that he'll be discreet about it & make sure you don't know.
These kind of things make me want to be single. sigh
Like I said, I think it's vile and degrading. Boys are stupid & we should just throw rocks at them!  Besides, could be worse....he could be into farm animals, lol! {sorry..} |
|
_________________
Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. ~ Voltaire www.Candessence.com |
|
|
|
|
Sun Jul 02, 2006 2:47 pm Quote |
| I agree...if he's good to you in every other way, than I would talk to him about it. Let him know how you feel about it. |
|
|
|
|
|
Sun Jul 02, 2006 3:09 pm Quote |
Bring it up in a calm, understanding sort of way instead of showing your disgust. Although I do agree with Candy that most likely he will just continue but in a more discreet manner as most guys are like that.
I also can't stop laughing at Candy's last comment  |
|
|
|
|
|
Sun Jul 02, 2006 3:56 pm Quote |
[quote="Candy8865"] I'm a little (ok alot) disturbed by the type of p-o-r-n he apparently is into.
Candy, do you mean because it's called suicide girls? Because I saw something about them on tv, and they are not into suicide, they dress up like semi- gothic pinup girls. I'm not sure why they use the name, but they're not into suicide as far as I know... If that's any consolation 
Personally, I don't have a problem with p-o-r-n. My bf watches it and subscribes to playboy, and I'm not threatened or disgusted. It's normal, and as long as it doesn't involve actual interaction with someone (like chat or phone sex) it doesn't bother me. Pictures and videos online are just like magazines and videos at home, imo. He sounds really great in every other way, so I wouldn't break up with him over something so (again, IMO) trivial. Just talk to him, and maybe ask him to make sure you never have to be aware of it in any way. Or, you could always join in and maybe y'all could find something you both enjoy together.  |
|
|
|
|
|
Sun Jul 02, 2006 3:57 pm Quote |
| Ugh, apparently I still haven't figured out the quote option! |
|
|
|
|
|
Sun Jul 02, 2006 4:04 pm Quote |
| I agree with Cloud_9 - best to talk to him and find out where he's at. |
|
|
|
|
|
Sun Jul 02, 2006 7:18 pm Quote |
| I agree with cloud 9 as well. 99% of the guys out there visit p-o-r-n sites. Some girls take it personally and think that they are disrespecting the relationship, but it's not like that at all. I know tons of girls who's bf's go on p-o-r-n or subscribes to playboy etc. It doesnt mean that they dont love you or disrespects you in anyway. If he treats you well and there is nothing else wrong in the relationship, i dont see why you need to break up with him. Maybe if it bothers you that much, why not talk to him? Tell him how you feel and ask him why he subscribes to suicide girls. Communication is key in a relationship |
|
|
|
|
|
Sun Jul 02, 2006 7:48 pm Quote |
glistenxz:
Hello, jut my opinion but I have read stories of many men where this becomes an addiction. Actual stories where men talk about their stories of addiction it always starts out as something little magazines and then becomes outrageous. (I'm not saying this is your b/f) But if it bothers you, it will probably continue to bother you. I feel that po-- is disgusting and degrading and it would personally bother me if it was my b/f. Don't forget that you are special and that you shouldn't have to put up with something that bothers you. |
_________________
32/ OPRT-Dallas, TX |
|
|
|
|
Sun Jul 02, 2006 8:22 pm Quote |
Hi glistenxz, Is this the same b/f you broke up with a few months ago or a new one? (I'm just being nosey  )
The guy's just like a gazillion other men - visual! Some guys rent/buy prOn videos, some buy mags, some visit websites, nothing wrong with that. I'd only draw the line if he was into kiddie prOn or as Candy says....animals 
Relax and cut him some slack. |
|
|
|
|
|
Mon Jul 03, 2006 7:33 am Quote |
I agree...men are visual...pure and simple. Just as long as this isn't conflicting with his life and your relationship...then cut him some slack.
I, personally, have a problem with p-o-r-n, but guys are different. |
|
|
|
|
|
Mon Jul 03, 2006 8:13 am Quote |
| sormuimui wrote: |
Bring it up in a calm, understanding sort of way instead of showing your disgust. Although I do agree with Candy that most likely he will just continue but in a more discreet manner as most guys are like that.
I also can't stop laughing at Candy's last comment |
It's not mine - I stole it. Was on a T-shirt we got for a friend of mine when she was in her 'I hate men' stage (again, lol).
We still use it whenever 1 of our SO's gets on our nerves. |
_________________
Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. ~ Voltaire www.Candessence.com |
|
|
|
|
Mon Jul 03, 2006 8:33 am Quote |
Hi!
I don't think you should worry about it. Men's brains are hardwired from back when we were primordial ape-like creatures to "go forth and multiply"! He's just expressing his manliness. 
How about making your own raunchy pictures for him? This could also be good opportunity to find out what he likes in bed. It could be a fun conversation- "Hey honey, what about that p*rn stuff you where looking at, any paticular position you could show me?"
Cheers,
Bella |
|
|
|
|
|
Mon Jul 03, 2006 8:55 am Quote |
| I would be more worried if the kind of ---- that he likes or joins involved violence or children. It looks quite «tame» to me. But, and it is a big BUT, I believe that it is quite worthwhile to talk about the ---- phenomenon in our society, why it has become so acceptable. Personnally, I hate what ---- reduces women to; I don't have children, but if I had a daughter, my dream for her would not be that she becomes a ---- star or earns some money doing movies, photos or Webcams involving nudity. Why not have that kind of discussion with the BF, in a calm manner? Maybe he will find the other side of ---- less fascinating - the fact that the girls depicted are somebody's daughter, niece, sister, cousin, etc. |
_________________
Mid 40's, normal to oily skin, blackheads, occasional breakouts |
|
|
|
|
Mon Jul 03, 2006 8:17 pm Quote |
I don't know if pointing out that those girls are someone's daughter or sister will make much of a difference, atleast the guys I know don't seem to care.
You'll feel better if you talk to him, regardless of his response, which will prolly be something lame no less!
If you do take pics of yourself...be careful; those tend to end up on the internet if the relationship goes sour... |
|
|
|
|
|
Mon Jul 03, 2006 9:07 pm Quote |
Hi glistenxz,
Tough situation you're in...
I agree with the others about sharing with your bf how you feel about it.
Then, if he continues, you will have to decide how much it bothers you.
I guess what I'm saying is -- recognize your own boundaries and respect them
HTH |
|
|
|
|
|
Tue Jul 04, 2006 8:33 pm Quote |
I think you need to negotiate with him - is he willing to give it up altogether? Can you deal with some _______ in his life? Figure out how you feel about it, and just be honest with him.
I don't think that looking at ________ on occasion needs to be fatal to a relationship, but I think it depends on the what type of _______ it is, how much time he spends with it, whether it interferes with other aspects of your relationship, and how you both feel about it. If this is something that really bothers you, you will need to find out whether he can respect that and give it up. |
|
|
|
|
|
Tue Jul 04, 2006 9:57 pm Quote |
Hi glistenxz
I totally understand how you feel. My hubby and I were engaged for over a year before we got married. During that time I found out about his p-o-r-n viewing habbits (I knew deep inside that he looked at those stuff, but it never actually bothered me until I actually found it on his PC).
I spoke to him about it (actually I was so upset and cried the whole day). It made me feel that I'm just not enough for him..not wanted..etc..etc
And we made an agreement, compromise..I think that's important.
The fact that he looks into those stuff does not mean he does not love you, it's just a different mechanism with men's brain. They are more of a visual being.
Overtime I got over it. I still know that he looks into those stuff, but he respect my feeling by not collecting or store it in his PC anymore.
Hope you sorted things out |
_________________
Female 27, oily/combination, lots of blackheads, open pores, ocassional breakouts |
|
|
|
|
Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:51 pm Quote |
| Quote: |
| CANDY: Boys are stupid & we should just throw rocks at them! |
Candy (and all other interested ladies), when I needed some cheering up, Yen posted this link http://www.davidandgoliathtees.com/
It not only relieves stress, but, well, basically makes you feel soooo goooood! Turn on the speakers to enjoy it!
click on games
click on "boys are stupid, throw rocks at them"
Aim with your mouse and click.
Just imagine the face of whomever you wish.... |
_________________
SKIN: combination, reactive to climate changes and extremely fair. "Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself." --Roseanne |
|
|
|
|
Wed Jul 05, 2006 1:07 am Quote |
| Great link! I love throwing rocks at boys! |
|
|
|
|
|
Wed Jul 05, 2006 6:18 am Quote |
| Actually, I think Suicide Girls is a great site and were I not so long in the tooth (not to mention body mod free), I'd be tempted to send some of my pics GB did of me |
_________________
My friend's new website http://charmiandeacon.co.uk/ |
|
|
|
|
Wed Jul 05, 2006 6:02 pm Quote |
Ah Guapagirl.....lol
You gooooooooooo girl |
|
|
|
|
|
Wed Jul 05, 2006 9:12 pm Quote |
[quote="tiger_tim"]
| Quote: |
| CANDY: Boys are stupid & we should just throw rocks at them! |
Candy (and all other interested ladies), when I needed some cheering up, Yen posted this link http://www.davidandgoliathtees.com/
Candy - Tiger_tim,
You girls are hilarious!!! Sometimes I pity the boys - they have nothing better to spend their time on ??  |
_________________
Asian-40's-combination/dehydrated skin-on endless quest for perfect skin-like you! |
|
|
|
| Sat Nov 21, 2009 3:45 pm |
If this is your first visit to the EDS Forums please take the time to register. Registration is required for you to post on the forums. Registration will also give you the ability to track messages of interest, send private messages to other users, participate in Gift Certificates draws and enjoy automatic discounts for shopping at our online store. Registration is free and takes just a few seconds to complete.
Click Here to join our community.
If you are already a registered member on the forums, please login to gain full access to the site. |
|
 |
|
