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Tue Nov 14, 2006 8:03 am  |
I guess it is liberal Skincare. I was referring more to small towns in Asia, though you get some pressure in liberal places it's easier to say no and you want to find the right person etc.
I went through a bad phase in my early thirties too with everyone pressuring me to be normal and settle down so I gave in and did it and never been more miserable  There's a great book on this subject called 'Solitude' by Anthony Storr
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Solitude-Flamingo-Anthony-Storr/dp/0006543499/sr=1-14/qid=1163496561/ref=sr_1_14/026-7487281-6039608?ie=UTF8&s=books
It shows how much of this you must be a couple to be normal obsession is derived from Freudian theory (one man's theory and just a theory) and throughout history there have always been plenty of single people who were not considered weird, but special. Well, it cheered me up.  |
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Tue Nov 14, 2006 8:13 am |
Thank you so much. I will go to the book store to take a look at it.
I agree about having personal happiness but I guess there are times with enough pressure from your peers and family, you lose that personaly happiness. Or you just forgot about it.
It does not help when your family is not supportive. |
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Tue Nov 14, 2006 8:37 am |
| plus Skincare - it really doesn't help your self-esteem hanging around with men like that. In my first job in China a lot of my colleagues were men (young/old/ugly) who stayed because it was easy for them to get a lot of girlfriends. So they treat you like 'one of the lads' or an 'honorary male' and it makes you feel invisible or non-female in the end. I felt much better once I'd got away from them. |
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Tue Nov 14, 2006 10:06 am |
| Skincare wrote: |
| I always thought that Toronto is Liberal but maybe too liberal. |
...Hi Skincare! I used to live in Toronto (great city!!!) but it can be a bit lonely if you don't have tight circle of friends or a boyfriend/girlfriend...Don't let people get you down....I think we all go through "dry" periods in life when we feel like we don't have a healthy circle of friends or a boyfriend/girlfriend....Hang in there! And don't let anyone tell you that there is "something wrong with you" - that is just an awful  thing to say!!!
Keep smiling!
Pudoodles |
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Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:04 pm |
Thanks Pudoodles. I do try to keep smiling but when I saw this thread, it just reminded me of the comment I would get on why I am still single and the remarks I would get from my parents "there must be something wrong with you".
Qisme615, thanks for starting this thread and I can relate and I am older!  I wish you all the happiness. |
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Tue Nov 14, 2006 8:30 pm |
Hi Skincare--people can be so insensitive. After I divorced, I didn't date for a long while afterward. When I did finally date again, I'd go out with someone a few times and if it wasn't "right", I'd stop seeing them. I wasn't going to waste any more time with the wrong person...I would much rather be alone than in another bad relationship. But friends or family would say to me, "Well, what was wrong with him..he seemed like such a nice guy"  Like being alone would be the worst thing. I did eventually meet someone, but it wasn't until I was about 35, around 8 yrs after my first marriage ended. |
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Tue Nov 14, 2006 8:58 pm |
Hi Skincare - Your welcome. I have guys that do like me but there's something wrong with them, not me.  So I agree with others that I rather be single than settle for less. But it just makes me fuming mad when people keep asking or saying things. Yes, at times it gets lonely when those darn holiday comes like V-day. hehe. But there is nothing wrong with us. I figure I'm 30 but most importantly I am happy. So be happy. Go buy that LV Speedy 30. |
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Wed Nov 15, 2006 6:59 am |
Both of you put a smile on me face Thank you.
I'm at work right now and just had a chat with a coworker. He used to teach at Yale University and he said majority of the students who had difficulty in class was due to their parents being negative/toxic to their children. He said that they were all very bright and it is the parent who set them up for failure.
He had a good point, we do not need people to expect us to meet their expectations.
Lets not go there with the V-Day! My birthday is on or about V-Day and the so-called friends rather go out with thier boyfriends/spouse for V-Day which will last a week for them. |
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