My birthday...
EDS Skin Care Forums Forum Index » EDS Lounge

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 7:42 am

Today is my birthday, the 2nd. I am turning to 30. The funniest thing is that it's also my "Lunar" birthday (chinese calendar). I am really happy. I think of this year is so special for me. I planned to spend my days just be happy as is and do what I usually do every day ... work, watch movie and sleep.

yet... I am really sad. Because....

Last nite, I went to a dinner with my ex because he wanted to treat me. I am not expecting him to do it for me. But, he said, it's just once a year thing. Also, we both commit to each other on my birthday a year ago. We broke up 3 months later and we still keep in touch as friends and we are still in the same company. I love him dearly. He is one year younger than me. His birthday is this Sunday the 4th. We chatted about friends. Later on, he made a very sad statement, that I am older than him and I look older than him. Only God knows how much he hurts me at that point. Right after one hour dinner, I just went straight to home.

Does people ever know, the most hurtful words always come from the person you love most?

I don't expect to be back with him, but I want the privilege to keep my love to him as mine. I know I choose to love him. That is so hurt. I wish I learn how to hate him, so I can live happier. But, I let myself to be trashed like this.

Sorry for my long nagging. I always visited this forum and I felt this forum is somehow like my home. Somehow... I don't know... I am really mad and upset with myself. Yeah... I am plain stupid. I think I need time to rewind and refresh myself... think positive... and move on...

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 7:54 am

fishzebby wrote:

Today is my birthday, the 2nd. I am turning to 30. The funniest thing is that it's also my "Lunar" birthday (chinese calendar). I am really happy. I think of this year is so special for me. I planned to spend my days just be happy as is and do what I usually do every day ... work, watch movie and sleep.

yet... I am really sad. Because....

Last nite, I went to a dinner with my ex because he wanted to treat me. I am not expecting him to do it for me. But, he said, it's just once a year thing. Also, we both commit to each other on my birthday a year ago. We broke up 3 months later and we still keep in touch as friends and we are still in the same company. I love him dearly. He is one year younger than me. His birthday is this Sunday the 4th. We chatted about friends. Later on, he made a very sad statement, that I am older than him and I look older than him. Only God knows how much he hurts me at that point. Right after one hour dinner, I just went straight to home.

Does people ever know, the most hurtful words always come from the person you love most?

I don't expect to be back with him, but I want the privilege to keep my love to him as mine. I know I choose to love him. That is so hurt. I wish I learn how to hate him, so I can live happier. But, I let myself to be trashed like this.

Sorry for my long nagging. I always visited this forum and I felt this forum is somehow like my home. Somehow... I don't know... I am really mad and upset with myself. Yeah... I am plain stupid. I think I need time to rewind and refresh myself... think positive... and move on...

Ouch! That was a bit of a thoughtless and insensitive remark he made!

Are you sure he wasn't joking with you? Men can sometimes say something they think is funny and don't actually mean, but which can end up being hurtful.

Poor you, and on your birthday too. I'm sure you look great - 30 isn't old at all. Don't pay any attention to silly and thoughtless ex-boyfriends.

I think it maybe hurt you even more as you obviously still have very strong feelings for him. Try to forget about him and make sure you have a fantastic time with other friends instead.

(And if he does dare to do anything like that again, throw food at him. Wink

)

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 8:42 am

First of all -- Happy Birthday Fishzebby!!

As majorb said, he may have just been joking.

30 is not old and I bet that you look great! Sometimes, being able to get mad at an ex is the best way to finally let them go and move on. My very best friend recently went through the same thing with an ex boyfriend. She really loved him and it wasn't until he hurt her feelings that she was able to get past him.

Don't let him ruin your birthday. 30 is a great age; you need to enjoy every minute of it! Very Happy

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 8:56 am

Yeah, I can understand sometimes, guy just said things they don't really mean...
I think he hurts me a lot already, I do let him go.. but I do really regret have that dinner with him... Sometimes, I prefer not seeing him to being hurt.

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 8:57 am

Happy Birthday

30 is NOT old, your only just beginning!!!!

Men always say thoughtless things, so don't let what he has said get you down or play on your mind, go out and play, have a good time.

I am just coming to the end of my Chinese Birthday, yes I was born in the year of the dog and have had such a wonderful year, focus on what you have to look forward to in the next coming Chinese year.
I made myself a red friendship bracelet out or Red (Chinese lucky colour) silks and tied it around my ankle for the whole of the last year to remind me that it was to be a good and prosperous year for me, although I am looking forward to taking it off soon.
I wove into it all my aspirations and dreams and I think it worked Very Happy

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 10:09 am

Happy birthday! Very Happy

your ex is what we call here a twat and deserves a good kicking for either thinking he was being funny, being insensitive (on the off chance that you do look older than you are, which I doubt) or being a nasty little creep.

You are well shot of him and believe me, the 30s are fantastic! I only really got going in terms of confidence and feeling good about myself and how I looked when I got into my thirties, so ignore your slimeball ex (and thank god he IS an ex!). Don't see him again socially is my advice and move on. You seem like a lovely person and deserve better!

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:55 am

Happy Happy Birthday!!!! Very Happy

Gosh, I'm sorry it happened to you but don't let your ex remarks get you down especially since it's your bday. I realized that ex's sometimes say mean things because they are not happy and they want to bring you down too. And he knew it was your special day but was being stupid and mean. He has some issues to deal with. Been there, heard it, biyatch back (I always gave him my 2 cents on anything negative he said about me. I'd point out his flaws too) and moved on. This event probably will make you stronger, you may not realize it but it will. This guy does not deserve your love. Don't beat yourself up because of this jerk.

So forget about the a-hole, put a smile on your face and strut your stuff because it's your birthday! Very Happy

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 12:23 pm

Happy birthday Very Happy

. I'm sorry your ex upset you - he may not even have realised that he was saying anything that might hurt you, men can be so insensitive!

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 12:42 pm

Happy birthday Fishzebby!!!
I loved my 30th birthday. I think the reason he said that was because he knows it would hurt you. Maybe he's not as happy just being friends. Even if he says differently, maybe he's still carryig a torch for you. I don't know. Just a guess. I certainly can't tell the difference between 29 & 30 year olds.
Just look your best & ignore his comment! Coleen

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 12:48 pm

fishzebby:

Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday!!!

Don't try to hate him but ignore him. We can not control what other people said but we can learn not to pay attention to them. Let me tell you what my husband said to me on our 19th anniversary Jan 23 this year. I had bad allergy lately and I did not feel good on our anniversary. We ended up exercising together that night for about 1 hour. After sweating a lot I asked my husband if my eyes were still swollen. Are you ready for the answer? Girls, put down your drink just in case you spit. He looked at me and said "OMG, I did not know your upper eyelids drooped THIS much. I bet you, you are going to look exactly like your mom in 10 years!" FYI, my mom is 78, I'm 47.

Are your sure Feb 2 is your 30th birthday and your Lunar birthday too? To my understanding, Lunar year leaps 7 times in 19 years. 19 years is a cycle, When you turn 20, 39, 58... falls on the same day.

Be Happy!!!

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 12:52 pm

Happy birthday! Very sorry ex made such a twitish remark. You appear to care very deeply for this young man. Since you have been broken up for a time, I would strongly suggest that you move on with your life.

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 12:59 pm

Happy Birthday!

As for your ex, men can be insensitive clods at times. Only he knows for sure whether he knew those comments would wound you when he said them.

What the clod said is rather mild compared to some of the comments my DH has laid on me in the past 26 years. (For ins, before we married he caught me squinting at the TV one night and said, "You know you look just like a vulture.") I don't have a thick enough skin living with him. But, he always gets upset when he learns he hurt me.

Just blow it off and have a wonderful Birthday, Sweetie!!!!

Ari

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 12:59 pm

Happy Birthday fishzebby! You're awesome and beautiful and you should enjoy it---especially today!!

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 1:22 pm

I don't think men realize how hurtful some of their thoughtless remarks are.

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 1:50 pm

I guess I have to learn to look more of positive side. Try some trick with the red bracelet thing. I just hope there will more years to come that have matching day with my lunar birthday. I don't want it to be spoiled by some comment like his again in my life.

I read through your comments... Yeah, sometimes, we can't really expect so much from a person esp. an ex friend. I just hope one day I will wake up and he is totally out from my mind.

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 1:58 pm

fishzebby wrote:

I guess I have to learn to look more of positive side. Try some trick with the red bracelet thing. I just hope there will more years to come that have matching day with my lunar birthday. I don't want it to be spoiled by some comment like his again in my life.

I read through your comments... Yeah, sometimes, we can't really expect so much from a person esp. an ex friend. I just hope one day I will wake up and he is totally out from my mind.

I was totally crazy about a young man in college. Everyone told me what a louse he was but did I listen? nooooooo!

So, to get over him, every time I thought of him I'd immediately make myself think of the most disgusting thing I could think of. After a while, I couldn't even think of him without gagging. Laughing

Ari

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 2:04 pm

I have "mooned" over some of the biggest clods. There are very few women that haven't. Whenever you start thinking about him just get busy and get your mind off of him. Sometimes easier said than done, but after a time you will realize you really don't think about him at all and then when you do it's no big deal.

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 3:10 pm

firstly; Happy Birthday

Secondly; Sounds like you are well rid of him.

Some people are not happy unless they are making others feel bad. Try not to give him that power in the future for your own sake.

Fri Feb 02, 2007 6:29 pm

Happy 30th Birthday!

Sorry about your ex. Guys do say the stupidest things sometimes. It doesn't matter how old they are.

Don't let him bother you. You should go out with some other friends and celebrate your birthday in style.

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 7:05 pm

I do have a great day today. I felt really bad this morning and wrote those statement. Later at noon, my co-workers treat me for a lunch. Then, I got flower delivery from a guy friend at 3. Then, I got another mini plant from my secretary. Also, I got another sandish mp3 player. I was already in good mood... Then, I went home...I got another flowers delivery from my high school sweetheart from my country of origin. I was greeted by my 3 other roomates and they cook for me and we have a cake together. I think my day ends pretty well. I guess I am pretty lucky after all and I should feel grateful that so many other people still care about me. Also, you guys...
I love you all. I will take your advice ... try to look each point you guys make in this thread and try to learn the lesson. I know I have to move on... it's just a matter of time.

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 7:40 pm

Good to know that your friends made it a special day. Very Happy

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 8:02 pm

I, too, am very happy you had a lovely day today. I thought of you and wondered how your day was going.

You have wonderful friends.

Ari

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 8:12 pm

fishzebby- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I'm pretty sure what your ex meant was you look more mature than him! Very Happy

Don't let that get in your way. You know you are beautiful inside and out! I'm glad to hear that you had a great day today. Smile

Cheer up! Another year older, yet beautiful as ever! Very Happy

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 8:14 pm

I'm glad you had a good day today. Very Happy

Silly man.
Rolling Eyes

free skin care · Fri Feb 02, 2007 8:16 pm

Glad you had a good day.

Automatic Message

If this is your first visit to the EDS Forums please take the time to register. Registration is required for you to post on the forums. Registration will also give you the ability to track messages of interest, send private messages to other users, participate in Gift Certificates draws and enjoy automatic discounts for shopping at our online store. Registration is free and takes just a few seconds to complete.

Click Here to join our community.

If you are already a registered member on the forums, please login to gain full access to the site.