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Tue Feb 06, 2007 11:46 am |
Do you always want to discuss a problem with your SO IMMEDIATELY?
However when he does something nice, that you really appreciate and want him to keep on doing it, what do you do? Do you discuss it in great length with him like when you discuss what he did wrong?
I find myself eager to discuss problems with my boyfriend, but when he does something nice, while I immediately tell him "thank you" and "I love you," I don't elaborate thinking he must already know I appreciate it. But ...is that always the case? Or even if he does know it, wouldn't it be nice for him to hear you tell him exactly how you appreciate it, and what he did that you really liked in detail? I was pondering this, and thought I'd have liked to hear him tell me what I did that he liked in detail, too.
This weekend, he was being extra tender, loving, considerate, selfless, and did all the things my heart always yearned for without me even having to give him a hint or a clue.
I wanted to let him know that I really liked what he did without sounding patronizing. So I decided to send him a love letter in advance of V-day.
He actually said he liked getting positive feedback. I gave him concrete examples in details of the things he did that touched my heart.
So I just wanted to share with you all not to forget to give positive feedback and in details, so he knows you appreciate him, and he knows exactly what you like, so he'll do it again.
Positive reinforcements, girlfriends! |
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Tue Feb 06, 2007 12:10 pm |
You are SO sweet, Cherisse!
And that is a great idea. I always tell my husband "thank you" and "I love you" too, but never really thought that he might like/need more than that. You've given me the inspiration to do that for mine. Thank you! |
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Tue Feb 06, 2007 12:38 pm |
That IS a great idea. I don't think I've ever written a love letter to my boyfriend. Maybe a nice hard with some things written in it, but not a real true letter. There is so many things he does that I do appreciate, but sometimes other than saying "thanks", I never really tell him how I feel. I think I might try this too. |
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Tue Feb 06, 2007 1:14 pm |
You're welcome. If you want to borrow my opening, here's what I wrote:
"Hi Hun,
I want to be better at communicating positive feedback. I think for most of us it’s easy to want to “talk” only when something went wrong, and while we appreciate the good things that happen, we just “assume” the other person knows that we appreciate it, which is sadly not always the case. Or even if the other person knows it, it is still refreshing to hear it outloud from the source.
So in light of that, I want to tell you that ...(in your own words)!
To give you concrete examples…..(provide your own examples here)"
Then you can end on a love note! |
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Wed Feb 07, 2007 2:52 pm |
Sweet Cherisse, i will steal your idea. you are very thoughful, your boyfriend is so lucky to have you! |
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Wed Feb 07, 2007 5:01 pm |
I've always loved leaving little notes around with warm and fuzzy sentiments like: "I love your smile", "I love the way you make me laugh", "You are THE best kisser", etc. That way you can make your partner feel special every day and not just one time out of the year. It's the little things that count most. |
_________________ Global Butterfly & Certified Aromatherapist/Holisitc Therapist with a passion for travel and natural health. |
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Wed Feb 07, 2007 5:46 pm |
wildflower wrote: |
I've always loved leaving little notes around with warm and fuzzy sentiments like: "I love your smile", "I love the way you make me laugh", "You are THE best kisser", etc. That way you can make your partner feel special every day and not just one time out of the year. It's the little things that count most. |
Yes! I do this, too. Once I had to leave my bf's place before he woke up, and I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye, so I left him a note saying goodbye and telling him I didn't want to wake him up as he looked so peaceful sleeping there. He loved that note and the fact that I didn't wake him up. (Probably more the latter!) But I saw him save that note for a month, which is long for him as he hates pack rats. |
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Wed Feb 07, 2007 5:47 pm |
gracedhy wrote: |
Sweet Cherisse, i will steal your idea. you are very thoughful, your boyfriend is so lucky to have you! |
Thank you, and yes, please use it! I think guys like to hear what they do well, too, and probably prefer that to what they do wrong. haha |
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Thu Feb 08, 2007 9:41 am |
Cherisse you changed your screen name to bankok girl? |
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Thu Feb 08, 2007 10:07 pm |
gracedhy wrote: |
Cherisse you changed your screen name to bankok girl? |
That confused me too! It's all good though, I kept getting Cherisse and Chessie confused. Now I'll just be mixing up Tan, Tangal, Tam & Tamgirl99. |
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Thu Feb 08, 2007 10:37 pm |
gracedhy wrote: |
Cherisse you changed your screen name to bankok girl? |
I wanted to be anonymous! hehe |
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Thu Feb 08, 2007 10:37 pm |
my sushi secret wrote: |
gracedhy wrote: |
Cherisse you changed your screen name to bankok girl? |
That confused me too! It's all good though, I kept getting Cherisse and Chessie confused. Now I'll just be mixing up Tan, Tangal, Tam & Tamgirl99. |
I got Cherisse and Chrissie confused, too. I didn't know about the other ones you mentioned. I mean I know about Tangal, but didn't know there's a Tan, and I know about Tam, but didn't know there's a Tamgirl99. |
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Thu Feb 08, 2007 10:50 pm |
bkkgirl wrote: |
I got Cherisse and Chrissie confused, too. |
Ha, I wrote Chessie not Chrissie...see, it IS confusing! |
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Thu Feb 08, 2007 10:52 pm |
C- How were you able to change your name on all your posts? I seem to remember other members trying to do it before, but they weren't able. |
_________________ 27, sensitive/reactive/acne prone skin, dark brown hair, blue eyes, possibly the palest woman alive... |
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Thu Feb 08, 2007 10:55 pm |
How can I change my name? |
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Thu Feb 08, 2007 11:10 pm |
manslayerliz wrote: |
C- How were you able to change your name on all your posts? I seem to remember other members trying to do it before, but they weren't able. |
She's a witch!
Just kidding.... |
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Fri Feb 09, 2007 9:43 am |
good to share tips like this... |
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Fri Feb 09, 2007 10:21 am |
manslayerliz wrote: |
C- How were you able to change your name on all your posts? I seem to remember other members trying to do it before, but they weren't able. |
Magda helped me! She is the magician. Thank you, Magda! |
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