 |
 |
| Author |
Message |
|
|
|
Sun Jan 23, 2011 2:09 pm  |
This is just too freaky!
Odd Facts About 2011
This year we will experience 4 unusual dates...1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11 & 11/11/11...now go figure this out...
Take the last 2 numbers of your birth year & the age you will be on your birthday this year...add them together & it will equal 111...FREAKY!
|
_________________
I'LL SEE YOU ON THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON.... |
|
|
|
|
Sun Jan 23, 2011 6:22 pm |
| DarkMoon wrote: |
This is just too freaky!
Odd Facts About 2011
This year we will experience 4 unusual dates...1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11 & 11/11/11...now go figure this out...
Take the last 2 numbers of your birth year & the age you will be on your birthday this year...add them together & it will equal 111...FREAKY!
|
That is freaky DarkMoon!!! I even tried it pretending I was born in a different year and you guessed it, it still adds up to 111. Twilight Zone here we come.    |
|
|
|
|
|
Sun Jan 23, 2011 6:52 pm |
I did my own and all 4 kids and yep all added up to 111, I stopped after that!  |
_________________
I'LL SEE YOU ON THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON.... |
|
|
|
|
Sun Jan 23, 2011 7:31 pm |
| DarkMoon wrote: |
This is just too freaky!
Take the last 2 numbers of your birth year & the age you will be on your birthday this year...add them together & it will equal 111...FREAKY!
|
If I said "take the four digits of your birth year & add it to the age you will be on your birthday this year" what answer would we all get?
Not so freaky at all, once you understand the math. |
_________________
Born 1953; Blonde-Blue; Normal skin |
|
|
|
|
Sun Jan 23, 2011 7:42 pm |
Yep I just got that one too. It's just interesting, like the easy way to teach kids the 9X multiplication table everything adds up to 9 and first row goes up one second goes down one.  |
_________________
I'LL SEE YOU ON THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON.... |
|
|
|
|
Sun Jan 23, 2011 8:11 pm |
| Lacy53 wrote: |
| DarkMoon wrote: |
This is just too freaky!
Take the last 2 numbers of your birth year & the age you will be on your birthday this year...add them together & it will equal 111...FREAKY!
|
If I said "take the four digits of your birth year & add it to the age you will be on your birthday this year" what answer would we all get?
Not so freaky at all, once you understand the
math. |
That happens to work in any year BTW
adding your birth year and age together will add up to that current year! |
_________________
I'LL SEE YOU ON THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON.... |
|
|
|
 |
Sun Jan 23, 2011 9:55 pm |
I still find it quite freaky that it also turns out to be the year that were in at the moment.
Here is a little joke courtesy of my 6 year old God Daughter.
Question: What's yellow and dangerous?
Answer: Shark infested custard.
How cute is that.  |
|
|
|
|
|
Sun Jan 23, 2011 10:00 pm |
| That's adorable Divine Diva! Mine (kids) are all grown and no grand kids so out of the mouth of babes! It's all about having a bit of fun! |
_________________
I'LL SEE YOU ON THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON.... |
|
|
|
|
Wed Jan 26, 2011 12:13 am |
| DarkMoon wrote: |
| That's adorable Divine Diva! Mine (kids) are all grown and no grand kids so out of the mouth of babes! It's all about having a bit of fun! |
Absolutely!!! Kids do say the funniest things.
Are we aloud to tell a little story that is quite funny? If not I will remover it.
Well this happened about a week ago and I'm still in fits of laughter about it now.
Well my OH was saying that his face felt a little dry after shaving and being in the sun, due to the fact that he works outside. So anyway he was wanting something to put on his face and I went into the bathroom and placed a few products he could use including sunscreen, as I think he needs to start wearing this to prevent anymore damage to his skin from being outside.
A few days went by and he never said anything else or had he used anything I had given him, naughty boy!!! Then a couple of days later I could hear him in the bathroom talking to himself about why this product wouldn't rub into his skin, so naturally I went to investigate to see what was going on.
He told me that this product is stupid and why wouldn't it rub in??? Well when I looked at what he was applying to his face I almost wet my pants and he couldn't understand why I was laughing at him. It turns out he had grab my Canesten Thrush Cream and was trying to apply this to his face!!!!
After I told him what it was he was shocked, mortified and embarrassed that he had done this. He also told me not to say anything to anyone, however it was just too funny to keep to myself. Well look on the bright side I had told him, at least you won't get thrush on your face any time soon.... |
|
|
|
|
|
Wed Jan 26, 2011 4:05 am |
I would love to have seen his face, DD!  |
|
|
|
|
|
Wed Jan 26, 2011 5:14 am |
| majorb wrote: |
| I would love to have seen his face, DD! |
LOL. That makes 2 of us majorb! Men can be sooooo funny about something like that! |
_________________
I'LL SEE YOU ON THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON.... |
|
|
|
|
Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:48 pm |
| DarkMoon wrote: |
| majorb wrote: |
| I would love to have seen his face, DD! |
LOL. That makes 2 of us majorb! Men can be sooooo funny about something like that! |
Ladies it was soooooooooooo funny and I'm still laughing about it now!!! I know it was evil for me to tell, however I just couldn't resist and my OH has a habit of telling everything bad or funny that I do so it was only fair that I shared this with you ladies. |
|
|
|
|
|
Sat Feb 12, 2011 5:31 am |
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that I'm over the ripe old age of forty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!
1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!
3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!
4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes ! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!
5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?
6) We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting ! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!
7) There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOSH !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.
 And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
9) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like ' Space Invaders ' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen.. Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!
11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning . Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
12) And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!
13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!
And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!
See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1970, or any time before!
Regards,
The Over 40 Crowd |
_________________
I'LL SEE YOU ON THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON.... |
|
|
|
|
Sat Feb 12, 2011 5:50 am |
| DarkMoon wrote: |
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that I'm over the ripe old age of forty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!
1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!
3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!
4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes ! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!
5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?
6) We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting ! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!
7) There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOSH !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
9) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like ' Space Invaders ' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen.. Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!
11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning . Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
12) And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!
13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!
And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!
See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1970, or any time before!
Regards,
The Over 40 Crowd |
Oh DarkMoon that would have to be the funniest thing I have read all week!!
After a very busy week at work this has made my day. And you know what the funny thing is, my Father used to tell me stories about how they had to walk to school in the rain, hail or snow with tape holding his shoes together and if it didn't hold, well then you had no shoes!! Oh and it was 10 miles there and 10 miles home and if it was dark when you got home, well bad luck you still had to milk the cows and do your chores!!
I'm still laughing about it now.   |
|
|
|
|
|
Sat Feb 12, 2011 7:04 am |
| DM,that is too funny,I'm still laughing and as you know I need it.I wrote a thank you to a friend last week and she called to say thank you because she haven't gotten a hand written note in so long.Oh the art of pen and paper!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
|
|
Thu Feb 17, 2011 9:19 am |
Should a Child Witness Childbirth?
Here's your answer.
Heidi went into labor; however,
Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call.
The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl, to hold a
flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.
Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked.
Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.
The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom.
Connor began to cry.
The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr
old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
Kathleen quickly responded, 'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place........
spank him again!' |
|
|
|
|
|
Thu Mar 10, 2011 6:23 am |
"Daddy, so how was I born?".... soooooooo cute ... ~.~*
Daddy how was I born ?
A little boy goes to his father and asks ' Daddy , how was I born ?'
The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo . Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber -cafe . We snuck into a secluded room, and googled each other. There, your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive . As soon as I was ready to upload , we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall , and since it was too late to hit a delete button , nine months later a little POP-UP appeared that said:
Scroll down...You'll love this ...... ~.~*
'You got Male! |
_________________
I'LL SEE YOU ON THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON.... |
|
|
|
|
Sat Mar 12, 2011 1:35 am |
SMILE ON YOUR FACE...AND LAUGHTER
> IN YOUR HEART..........
>
>
>
>
> If I thought that you were too young to remember most of these, I
> would not have sent them to you as a reminder of how WONDERFUL that
> we once had it! It seems like so long ago and far away, but our
> minds can still reach back an grasp how it once was...and how much
> that we really do miss it being that way.
>
>
> How's This For Nostalgia?
>
> All the girls had ugly gym uniforms? And wore tennis shoes not $200
> Nike's!
>
>
> It took three minutes for the TV to warm up?
>
>
> Nobody owned a purebred dog?
>
>
> When a quarter was a decent allowance?
>
>
> You'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny?
>
>
> Your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces?
>
>
> You got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped,
> without asking, all for free, every time? And you didn't pay for
> air? And, you got trading stamps to boot?
>
>
> Laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside
> the box?
>
>
> It was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a
> real restaurant with your parents?
>
>
> They threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed... and they
> did it!
>
>
> When a 57 Chevy was everyone's dream car...to cruise, peel out, lay
> rubber or watch submarine races, and people went steady?
>
>
> No one ever asked where the car keys were because they were always
> in the car, in the ignition, and the doors were never locked?
>
>
> Lying on your back in the grass with your friends... and saying
> things like, 'That cloud looks like a... '?
>
>
> Playing baseball with no adults to help kids with the rules of the
> game?
>
>
> Stuff from the store came without safety caps and hermetic seals
> because no one had yet tried to poison a perfect stranger...
>
>
> And with all our progress, don't you just wish, just once, you
> could slip back in time and savor the slower pace, and share it with
> the children of today.
>
>
> When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to
> the fate that awaited the student at home?
>
>
> Basically we were in fear for our lives, but it wasn't because of
> drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents
> were a much bigger threat! But we survived because their love was
> greater than the threat.
>
>
> And our summers were filled with bike rides, Hula Hoops, and visits
> to the pool, and eating Kool-Aid powder with sugar.
>
> Didn't that feel good, just to go back and say, 'Yeah, I remember
> that'?
>
> I am sharing this with you today because it ended with a Double Dog
> Dare to pass it on... To remember what a Double Dog Dare is, read
> on... And remember that the perfect age is somewhere between old
> enough to know better and too young to care.
>
>
> Send this on to someone who can still remember Howdy Doody and The
> Peanut Gallery, the Lone Ranger, The Shadow Knows, Nellie Bell , Roy
> and Dale, Trigger and Buttermilk.
>
>
> How Many Of These Do You Remember?
> Candy cigarettes...
>
> Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside...
>
>
> Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles...
>
> Coffee shops with Table Side Jukeboxes...
>
> Blackjack, Clove and Teaberry chewing gum...
>
>
> Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers...
>
>
> Newsreels before the movie...
>
>
>
> Telephone numbers with a word prefix...( Yukon 2-601). Party lines...
>
>
> Peashooters...
>
>
>
> Hi-Fi's & 45 RPM records...
>
>
> 78 RPM records...
>
>
> Green Stamps...
>
>
> Mimeograph paper...
>
>
> The Fort Apache Play Set...
>
> Do You Remember a Time When Decisions were made by going...
> 'eeny-meeny-miney-moe'?
>
> Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, 'Do Over!'?
>
> 'Race issue' meant arguing about who ran the fastest?
>
>
> Catching The Fireflies Could Happily Occupy An Entire Evening?
>
>
>
> It wasn't odd to have two or three 'Best
> Friends'...
>
>
>
> Having a Weapon in School meant being caught with a Slingshot?
>
>
> Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute commercials for action
> figures?
>
>
> 'Oly-oly-oxen-free' made perfect sense?
>
>
> Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for
> giggles?
>
>
>
> The Worst Embarrassment was being picked last for a team?
>
>
> War was a card game?
>
>
> Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle?
>
>
> Taking drugs meant orange flavored chewable aspirin?
>
>
> Water balloons were the ultimate weapon?
>
>
> If you can remember most or all of these, Then You Have Lived!!!!!!!
>
> Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their 'Grown-Up'
> Life...
> I Double-Dog-Dare-Ya! |
_________________
I'LL SEE YOU ON THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON.... |
|
|
|
|
Sat Mar 12, 2011 4:46 am |
Oh how I enjoyed reading this.I have to add.
The most important key you owned was your skate key.
You could take an empty pop bottle to the 7/Eleven and return it for 2cents.
And most of all the only wrinkles we worried about were in our clothes,and could be taken care of with an iron.TAG YOUR IT. |
|
|
|
|
|
Sat Mar 12, 2011 5:29 am |
| Leggy 61 wrote: |
Oh how I enjoyed reading this.I have to add.
The most important key you owned was your skate key.
You could take an empty pop bottle to the 7/Eleven and return it for 2cents.
And most of all the only wrinkles we worried about were in our clothes,and could be taken care of with an iron.TAG YOUR IT. |
Oh yes the skate key on a big ribbon around the neck!
five and dime stores.
Chinese jump rope.
Here's some quotes!
Comments made in the year 1955!
>
> ‘I’ll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they
> are,
> it’s going to be impossible
> to buy a week’s groceries for $10.00.‘
>
>
>
>
>
> ‘Have you seen the new cars coming out next year?
> It won’t be long before $1,000.00 will only buy a used one.’
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ‘If cigarettes keep going up in price, I’m going to quit; 20
> cents a pack is ridiculous. ‘
>
> ‘Did you hear the post office is
> thinking about charging 7 cents
> just to mail a letter.’
>
> ‘If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to
> hire outside help at the store.’
>
> ‘When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would
> someday cost 25 cents a gallon.
> Guess we’d be better off leaving the car in the garage.’
>
> ‘I’m afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever
> since they let Clark Gable get by with saying
> DAMN in ‘GONE WITH THE WIND’,
> it seems every new movie has either HELL or DAMN in it.’
>
>
>
>
> ‘I read the other day where some scientist thinks it’s
> possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They
> even have some fellows they call astronauts
> preparing for it down in Texas .’
>
> ‘Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract
> for $50,000 a year just to play ball?
> It wouldn’t surprise me if someday
> they’ll be making more than the President. ‘
>
> ‘I never thought I’d see the day when all our kitchen
> appliances would be electric. They are even making electric
> typewriters now. ‘
>
> ‘It’s too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few
> married women are having to work to make ends meet. ‘
>
> ‘It won’t be long before young couples are going to have to
> hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.’
>
> ‘I’m afraid the Volkswagen car
> is going to open the door to a
> whole lot of foreign business.’
> ‘Thank goodness I won’t live to see the day when the Government
> takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are
> electing the best people to government.’ <http://images.google.com/hosted/life/f?q=Eisenhower+&prev=/images?q%3DEisenhower%2B%2526%2BCongress%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DG%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D843%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1&imgurl=be341190ba0eb7
> d1>
>
>
>
>
>
> ‘The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather,
> but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.’
>
>
>
>
>
> ‘There is no sense going on short trips anymore for a weekend.
> It costs nearly $2.00 a night to stay in a hotel.’
> ‘No one can afford to be sick anymore. At $15.00 a day in the
> hospital, it’s too rich for my blood.’
>
>
>
>
>
> ‘If they think I’ll pay 30 cents for a hair cut, forget it.’
>
>
> Know any friends
> who would get a kick out of these,
> pass this on! Wow, just imagine 50 years from now!!!!!
> |
_________________
I'LL SEE YOU ON THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON.... |
|
|
|
|
Sat Mar 12, 2011 8:27 am |
Hi DarkMoon,
Thanks for the trip! I do remember a lot of the things you mentioned. Our greatest fun in the summertime was to see how many "lightning bugs" we could catch in an evening...I look forward to seeing them each year as it is a true indicator that summer is here.
Sadly, I would swear that in the last few years, there are fewer and fewer twinkling in summer's evening sky! |
_________________
50 Is definitely NOT nifty!! |
|
|
|
|
Sun Apr 10, 2011 4:43 am |
Been there! Have you?
FOR ALL THE MEN IN OUR LIVES WHO ASK, "WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?"
When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of
women, so you smile politely and take your place.
Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the
woman leaving the stall.
You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait
has been so long you are about to wet your pants!
The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's
Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty.
You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but
there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your
neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if
you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume " The
Stance."
In this position your aging, toneless (God I should have gone to the
gym!!!) thigh muscles begin to shake.
You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe
the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance".
To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you
can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!"
Your thighs shake more.
You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday -
the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your
neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself
at the same time). That will have to do. You crumple it in the
puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail.
Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work.
The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front
of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the
tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your
precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your
footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT.
It is wet of course.
You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with
every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because
YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if
you had taken time to try.
You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public
toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind
of diseases you could get".
By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so
confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire
hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water
that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes.
The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too
At this point, you give up.. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat.
You're e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d.
You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then
slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.
You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, .....so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel
and walk past the line of women still waiting.
You are no longer able to smile politely to them.
A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet
paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED
it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's
hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this".
As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used,
and left the men's restroom.
Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse
hanging around your neck?" ..........
This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public
restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us
so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about
why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can
hold the door, hang onto your purse, and hand you Kleenex under the
door!
Send this to all women that understand what bonding in the bathroom
is all about!
A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...
Hard to Find...
Supportive....
Comfortable ...
Always Lifts You Up...
Never Lets You Down, or Leaves You Hanging,
And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!! |
_________________
I'LL SEE YOU ON THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON.... |
|
|
|
|
Sun Apr 10, 2011 8:11 am |
| OMG!! - DarkMoon, that's hilarious!...and so TRUE...LOL! |
|
|
|
|
|
Sun Apr 10, 2011 9:07 am |
| clustersof3 wrote: |
| OMG!! - DarkMoon, that's hilarious!...and so TRUE...LOL! |
I got that from a friend in an email and laughed till tears ran, tummy hurt and had to run to powder room to pee! (TMI?) When I forwarded it I added in subject line....Pee First. LOL |
_________________
I'LL SEE YOU ON THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON.... |
|
|
|
|
Sun Apr 24, 2011 7:20 am |
 |
_________________
I'LL SEE YOU ON THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON.... |
|
|
|
| Thu Apr 25, 2024 12:28 am |
If this is your first visit to the EDS Forums please take the time to register. Registration is required for you to post on the forums. Registration will also give you the ability to track messages of interest, send private messages to other users, participate in Gift Certificates draws and enjoy automatic discounts for shopping at our online store. Registration is free and takes just a few seconds to complete.
Click Here to join our community.
If you are already a registered member on the forums, please login to gain full access to the site. |
|
 |
|
|
