How do you afford your MU/skincare expenses?
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Sat May 05, 2007 8:14 am

I think maybe I spend a lot in MU and/or skincare, and I'm a bit worried now because I'm getting married in September Cool

I work as a high school teacher and my pay is a very good one ( according with the standard pay in my country). I don't tell anybody how much I spend monthly because I'm single and it is my money Bad Grin

But the question it: how can I juggle this way of thinking with marriage? Do you hide your MU expenses from you SO? If not, how do you establish the amount you can spend?

Any insight in this area would be greatly appreciated, as I don't want to get divorced soon Laughing

free skin care · Sat May 05, 2007 8:44 am

Jimena, different things work for different couples. But first--be upfront that you spend a lot on MU and skincare and don't plan to stop doing so. Keep your own bank account! When my husband and I married, we sat down and figured out what our monthly expenses were (less the bills that we each already had--each was responsible for their own bills incurred prior to marriage) and what we wanted to each contribute to savings. Then we figured out what percentage of total monthly income we each brought to the table. That's the percentage we each contributed to the bills, the balance was our "allowance".

My current percentage of household income is 48%. So, I contribute 48% of the bills and savings plus I'm responsible for my own credit cards. The rest of my pay is mine for household decorating and whatever else my little heart desires including my skin care expenses.

This may not work for everyone but it has helped us to live harmoniously for 26 years. The beauty of this is that it helps you hold down household expenses! The only "rule" is that you can't tell the other person how they can spend their "allowance".

hth

A

free skin care · Sat May 05, 2007 9:53 am

Individual bank accounts = no arguments over money.

free skin care · Sat May 05, 2007 10:42 am

My husband and I use the same system as Arielle for figuring out "allowance".

Like Harmonster, we also use separate accts.
Joint bank account for bills/investments, individual bank accounts for our "play money". No arguments that way. This has worked well for the past 4 years.

free skin care · Sat May 05, 2007 10:55 am

We are responsible for our own money...we both have our own accounts.

We have a joint account for household stuff (mortgage, bills etc.)

Sat May 05, 2007 11:36 am

Thanks a lot...

free skin care · Sat May 05, 2007 2:17 pm

We have an allowance which works perfectly. He gets to buy records and expensive polish and wax for the car and I get to buy nice beauty products.
Cool

free skin care · Sat May 05, 2007 4:41 pm

I sold my first born Laughing

! ok just kidding, I have x amount I can spend a month, now that said, it doesn't mean I always stick to my own budget, in fact its an amazing month when I actually do!

free skin care · Sat May 05, 2007 5:01 pm

MelissaMarie wrote:

I sold my first born Laughing

! ok just kidding, I have x amount I can spend a month, now that said, it doesn't mean I always stick to my own budget, in fact its an amazing month when I actually do!

PMSL! I shoulda thought of that!

We have a joint account but luckily guapaboy thinks 'not letting myself go' is as important as electricity so I have no qualms about spending though my spending has reduced now I know what I like!

free skin care · Sat May 05, 2007 6:58 pm

you should let your husband come in the forum, he will find you spend not too much! Laughing

free skin care · Sat May 05, 2007 8:59 pm

I try to just buy samples which I find amazingly enough lasting me a long time. I have so many little bottles to decorate my bathroom counter, and I love the small sizes. I don't know if I can ever order full sizes again. If I got married, I don't think my bf (husband) would even blink an eye since I really don't spend all that much. I stay clear away from things that cost $50+. I just can't bring myself to do that. Hmmm...I haven't checked how much the Super COP costs though. I am pretty impressed with the Super CP serum, and will be upgrading to the Super COP soon. I guess if a product is proven effective to me, I will be willing to pay $50 for it, but it seems to last forever.

free skin care · Sun May 06, 2007 12:43 am

We have been married 12 yrs and from Day 1 have split all household expenses 50/50, maintained separate accounts, and not hassled each other over our discretionary expenditures.
He has no idea how much I spend to "keep up appearances", nor do I think he wants to know! Works for us, but every relationship has to establish its own groundrules for sure. We are DINKs also, (Double Income No Kids) so no children are starving to keep me in lotions and potions, thank God.

free skin care · Sun May 06, 2007 8:02 am

As I am (recently) single and now living back home I can spend my money how I like Very Happy

However, I do have lots of other commitments so I have a separate back account for my treats. I put any money given to me (eg birthday or christmas) in this account. Every now and again I have a big clearout and do a car boot sale (equivalent of a garage sale I guess) and recently I've put some items on ebay. I would highly recommend this to anyone and you will be amazed what people buy!

free skin care · Sun May 06, 2007 9:54 am

I was married for 20 years and was a stay at home mom. I had part time jobs and some investments income. ALL of it went to my sons' father who controlled the money (I agreed to this, btw, so I can't call myself an innocent victim). Twenty years later I realized all my investment income was gone, I had no skills, and was being cheated on. Plus, I never bought ANYTHING for myself.

That was ten years ago. I am an elementary teacher with an M.Ed. and one independent person. I realize I GAVE my independence away thinking it was the right thing to do. If I ever remarry I be willing to split household finance based on income percentages. I will not be willing to cosign or co-own anything. I will insist on maintaining my own financial records and accounts.

I learned the hard way that "true love" doesn't mean rolling over and looking the other way. Far from it ... it holds each other accountable.

Best of luck in your marriage. Play smart and buy makeup.

Laughing

free skin care · Sun May 06, 2007 1:39 pm

fawnie wrote:

We are DINKs also, (Double Income No Kids) so no children are starving to keep me in lotions and potions, thank God.

But it's GOOD for them to not eat so much whilst you look glam honest! Laughing

Ruth, good on you! Smile

free skin care · Sun May 06, 2007 5:32 pm

I work 2 jobs so I usuallyhave enough $$$ for whatever I want to buy.

free skin care · Tue May 08, 2007 1:54 am

When I was married, I never had any money because he made me spend it all on him Sad

free skin care · Tue May 08, 2007 4:38 am

OMG! I feel like I'm from another planet Confused

.

My husband I have been together for 20 years (5 years dating + 15 years marriage), and we've always had joint accounts and finances Shock

!!

10 years ago, he supported our entire family while I went back to school full-time (for approximately 1.5 year). Over the last 2.5 years I supported the family while he went back to school full time. And that worked for us pretty well. I can't imagine how we would have done that if we didn't have joint finances Confused

.

Anyway, back to the topic - my husband just went back to work in his new career and is making very little money. Our contributions to our budget are 7(me):3(him) at the moment (hopefully that will change as soon as he gets some experience). We still have joint accounts and he never ever complained about me spending on cosmetics or MU. I have to say, however, that I've always been careful and rational with my spending (living on one income would do it to you Wink

), so he doesn't really have much to complaint about. But, even if he complained, I wouldn't back down.

I work, I earn, I have the right to spend $$ on myself, right Cool

. I think that's one point we can all agree on Wink

.

R.

free skin care · Tue May 08, 2007 7:16 am

i tends to spend almost what i have earned either on mu, clothings or holiday treats. but as i get older, especially since early this year, i been asking myself is this the way of life i want?

its time that i start to control my spending habit and really think of my future. no doubt SO doesnt really nag @ me for speaking (because thats my own money) but occasionally he does hint to me that i ought think & saving for the future.

well, i am really trying hard to curb my bad spending habit.

free skin care · Tue May 08, 2007 8:49 am

My husband and I have been married for 11 years and have had a joint account since day one. We both came to the marriage with prior debts and we consolidated it into one loan and worked together to pay it off. We discuss major purchases, but other than that, we both just buy what we need or want, of course after all the bills are paid. I figure it all evens out in the end. I like skin care, he likes work out equipment and hockey cards. This works really well for us, and neither complains when the other one buys something because they know they could just go buy what they want also.

I always knew that when I got married that that is what I wanted, because I remember my grandparents had separate accounts and each paid for a percentage of the bills. I remember my grandpa paid the electricity bill so he would complain when my grandma used the clothes dryer, and she would have to hang the clothes outside. I didn't want to live like that, and good thing my husband also likes the idea of a joint account. He reaped the benefits while I worked 2 years of major overtime, and I am now not worried about how to pay my share of the bills while I am only getting maternity benefits.

free skin care · Tue May 08, 2007 8:56 am

Emma2006 wrote:

We have an allowance which works perfectly. He gets to buy records and expensive polish and wax for the car and I get to buy nice beauty products.
Cool

My husband and I also have an allowance. The allowance goes to our individual accounts and the rest into the joint account to pay the morgage, utilities, etc. That way, I can buy all the MU I want to.

free skin care · Tue May 08, 2007 9:24 am

I have been married for 19 years and have been a stay-at-home mom for the last 8. At no time in our marriage has either my husband or I viewed anything as "his" or "mine". It has always been "ours." IMO, it is important to establish goals prior to marriage--financial, family, etc. and then be willing to make adjustments as each of you change and grow over time. My husband and I discussed everything ad nauseum prior to saying "I do." People thought we were nuts potentially "jeopardizing" our relationship, buy we figured it was better to find out prior to marriage if we were truly compatible. On the other hand my sister started out with a joint account and eventually went to separate accounts. It was the only way to keep peace in her marriage. The bottom line, talk things over with your fiance, establish goals and shift from a "me" centered attitude to a "we" centered attitude. I am fortunate to have chosen a mature man and neither of us has all of the power--financial or otherwise--in our relationship. I may no longer work outside of the home, but I am no shrinking violet--joint goals with room for self-expression creates a balance of power not a loss thereof. Wishing you much happiness and a long and lasting marriage.

free skin care · Tue May 08, 2007 1:25 pm

Cuddles wrote:

I have been married for 19 years and have been a stay-at-home mom for the last 8. At no time in our marriage has either my husband or I viewed anything as "his" or "mine". It has always been "ours." IMO, it is important to establish goals prior to marriage--financial, family, etc. and then be willing to make adjustments as each of you change and grow over time. My husband and I discussed everything ad nauseum prior to saying "I do." People thought we were nuts potentially "jeopardizing" our relationship, buy we figured it was better to find out prior to marriage if we were truly compatible. On the other hand my sister started out with a joint account and eventually went to separate accounts. It was the only way to keep peace in her marriage. The bottom line, talk things over with your fiance, establish goals and shift from a "me" centered attitude to a "we" centered attitude. I am fortunate to have chosen a mature man and neither of us has all of the power--financial or otherwise--in our relationship. I may no longer work outside of the home, but I am no shrinking violet--joint goals with room for self-expression creates a balance of power not a loss thereof. Wishing you much happiness and a long and lasting marriage.

Good points Cuddles! In my marriage, of the two, my hubby was for years more of a stay at home dad than really working (he was self employed, but that was more of a hobby than an income generating venture). And I SOOOOOO appreciated the fact that he was at home and available to our family and our daughter. Anyway, we always had joint finances and always discussed our budget jointly. And we were always able to spend $$ on our own interests (within the reason, right Rolling Eyes

)

I guess, every couple should do what works for them. As long as there is a plan that both sides are comfortable with.

free skin care · Tue May 08, 2007 5:15 pm

We have a joint account for shared expenses and seperate accounts too. We tend to consult on large items, even if they're paid for out of our individual accounts, but we're fortunate enough to make enough money between us that we allow each other indulgences.

My ex-husband was a PITA about this kind of thing, but my current SO not only doesn't hassle me about what I buy, he ENJOYS it... Or, I guess I should say, he enjoys the results Wink

I think the real key is, ABOVE ALL ELSE, be honest, arrive at some agreement, and stick to it. Sometimes, that's easier said than done, but it works.

free skin care · Tue May 08, 2007 5:30 pm

What's a PITA?

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