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Sun Oct 07, 2007 12:10 pm  |
I confess it - I'm a slacker at work. I can't concentrate, I daydream, surf the Net and in general let time slip thru my fingers. I get my work done (and get bonuses every year) but I know I could do more.
I calculated the hours I owe my boss and am working overtime to pay it back. But I feel so guilty. I've been so TENSE for weeks - my neck, shoulders and back are in almost constant pain.
I feel like God is telling me to confess to MY BOSS. But I'm so scared! I could get fired.
Is it me? Is it just my guilt? Or does God work this way sometimes?
I'm trying to pay her back but honestly I'm scared about the future - whether I tell her or not.
I've been diagnosed with depression (thought I had ADD) and the psych said depression also causes the inattention, distractability, etc. I'm in therapy for it but how can I totally prevent flaking out if it's due to a mental condition? |
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Sun Oct 07, 2007 12:48 pm |
Dear Too,
I have depression and get 'too involved' also.
If it were me I would not tell my boss and jeopardize my job. I think it is a good thing that your conscience is alive and well.
You are safe here to vent and get feedback.
Now that you are more focused you may move ahead and have the satisfaction of your achievements.
On the other hand.I have learned the hard way to not give yourself totally to your job. They can fire you just like that.
If you feel like God is telling you something then feel blessed and listen for His direction.
Best of luck to you. |
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Sun Oct 07, 2007 12:55 pm |
I can tell you this, EVERYONE slacks off at work. Life is stressful and its hard to not bring your personal problems to work. I think you have made a good first move by seeking help.
I think the guilt/anxiety you are feeling (about slacking off) are normal symptoms of depression. Is it kinda like you know you should do more but actually doing it is too overwhelming? Then that guilt and anxiety snowballs into deeper depression? Like a cycle? I would strongly suggest you stick to the meds even if it is not a long term treatment and seek someone to talk to about depression, like talk therapy. It can be very helpful to have someone help you find the root of your problem/s. I don't think that meds alone can release you from your suffering.
I don't know exactly what to tell you about saying something to your boss, I understand your guilt but I don't think confessing to him/her will change anything. And frankly its none of his/her business, you're not stealing or committing a crime. I do commend your honesty though. Do you think that maybe your desire to confess is more like you reaching out for help?
What medication are you taking if you don't mind me asking? |
_________________
27~Texas~Oily~ fair~ breakout prone~ easily congested~Cysts caused by emotional stress~ Using Ayurvedic skin care and philosophy~ Dry brushing body and face~ On strict less is more routine~ We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars~ Oscar Wilde |
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Sun Oct 07, 2007 12:58 pm |
Just re-read your post and see that you are in therapy, do you feel it is helping?
Do you exercise on a regular basis? It can really help with depression and anxiety. |
_________________
27~Texas~Oily~ fair~ breakout prone~ easily congested~Cysts caused by emotional stress~ Using Ayurvedic skin care and philosophy~ Dry brushing body and face~ On strict less is more routine~ We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars~ Oscar Wilde |
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Sun Oct 07, 2007 1:55 pm |
Thanks all!
I take karate about 3x per week. And I jog a couple times of week also. I used to take Zoloft but I was afraid I was treating the symptom of my problem and not getting at the problem itself.
I weaned myself off of it several months ago. But it was useful for making life more tolerable..if you're considering meds it's not a bad one. |
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Sun Oct 07, 2007 2:00 pm |
| Sounds like you are doing good per exercise. In my experience treating the symptoms of the problem make it easier to discover the root. Everyone is different though. What ever you decide to I hope you find some peace, please keep us updated and know you can always come here for support. |
_________________
27~Texas~Oily~ fair~ breakout prone~ easily congested~Cysts caused by emotional stress~ Using Ayurvedic skin care and philosophy~ Dry brushing body and face~ On strict less is more routine~ We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars~ Oscar Wilde |
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Mon Oct 08, 2007 4:24 am |
| Tooinvolved, I think you are being much too hard on yourself. You are doing your work, in fact it sounds like you are doing more than enough. Remember that life is much too short to give 150% or more to a job that ultimately serves its purpose in providing you with the means to enjoy yourself. I agree that almost everyone slacks off from time to time at work - take a step back and look at the bigger picture. you might surprise yourself and find that you are a good person and doing your best. Get some massage for your neck, shoulders and back. I agree that therapy is important, the medications while they help, won't get rid of the guilt and feeling bad. Hope this helps. |
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Mon Oct 08, 2007 4:07 pm |
Listen to vonstella. Forget the boss thing entirely!!! If that boss doesn't do his/her own goofing off, they might be a robot!
Just do good work from now on, and try to be disciplined about your goofing off -- limit it to a certain amount and/or certain times of day.
You may have some variant of ADD -- you sound like me (I definitely suffer from depression -- on and off), but recently began reading a book called "Driven to Distraction" on ADD, and recognize a lot of myself in some of the descriptions. There are books for investigating this and learning to live with it if you are finding it hard to chgange your habits.
If you have been doing enough work to earn bonuses then get guilt over the past right out of the equation! And please report back if you make progress -- I will be interested to hear. |
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Mon Oct 08, 2007 4:23 pm |
Thanks all!
I've been reading Driven to Distraction also and keep thinking That's me, That's me!
I've long thought I had ADD too. Looking into a shrink who can diagnose me.
Thanks! |
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Mon Oct 08, 2007 7:07 pm |
| Maybe what you need to do is LOVE and appreciate yourself more. If you get a bonus every year then you are doing your job well. Please don't be so hard on yourself. It almost sounds like you're looking for trouble or want to get fired... by telling your boss you're not doing your job. It sounds to me like you're doing it well. |
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Mon Oct 08, 2007 8:24 pm |
| Bellezza wrote: |
| Maybe what you need to do is LOVE and appreciate yourself more. If you get a bonus every year then you are doing your job well. Please don't be so hard on yourself. It almost sounds like you're looking for trouble or want to get fired... by telling your boss you're not doing your job. It sounds to me like you're doing it well. |
Good advice!
And I found this timely article: http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20071008/sc_livescience/abusedworkersfightbackbyslackingoff |
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Thu Oct 11, 2007 12:33 pm |
I agree completely with Vonstella -- you have to feel better in order to think more correctly, and meds can help you with that. Sort of like taking a cold medicine so you can sleep and get well. There is nothing wrong with this strategy; it is very smart.
Your thinking is classic behavior, however, and you should know you fit a certain profile perfectly. Highly self-critical and conscientious, self-doubting, depressed, distracted, and trying to be The Best Person in the World. Built-in unhappiness that you think somehow earns you points or good karma -- and Someone is Keeping Score.
No one is keeping score. Not even God. God knows you're human, believe me.
Take the help (and meds) offered to you, be gentle with yourself, and work on building a good relationship with yourself. Treat yourself as you would treat your best friend, or a lonely child.
And wise words are here:
"I'd rather be whole than good." Carl Jung |
_________________
tenderlovingwork.com, astonishing handmade gifts |
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Fri Oct 12, 2007 10:46 am |
| Thank you, Sidda! |
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Thu Oct 25, 2007 6:57 pm |
So I've still been struggling with this issue over the last couple of weeks - until a really great massage helped relieve the muscle tension. It helped a lot (don't know why since I'd had two other massages that weren't as helpful...) but things were still on my mind.
However, TODAY I left work about 45 minutes late and got in the car to hear Pastor Michael Yusef preaching about confessing when you've wronged another person. I thought, "Ugh! Again! A coincidence?" Over the last few weeks everything I heard on the radio reminded me of the sitch and seemed applicable.
Then the pastor said, "I don't mean going to the person and confessing when they don't even know you've done them wrong." Then whatever he said next indicated further that he didn't think that was a good idea.
Freedom! I'm not 100% but I think I'm on my way.
And you guys were a big help! |
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