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Tue Dec 18, 2007 7:25 pm  |
| How do you deal with going to functions like Christmas concerts and such, knowing that your ex will be there? |
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Sat Dec 29, 2007 1:10 am |
Yikes. My parents divorced when i was 6 (I'm 34 now), and they showed up to everything involving my brother and I, all the time, even after my dad married the "other woman", and all of that crap.
Obviously you share children with your ex, and trust me, the events where you will both be expected to attend won't ever stop! I got married 2 years ago, and it had been a while since my parents had even seen each other, and there they were, sitting in the front pew with their spouses. Then once we have children, there will likely be a baptism, and all sorts of family functions with the baby.... and so on...It doesn't end!
My best advice is to handle it like my parents, in that you should try to be pleasant and civil, for the sake of the children. Take a deep breath, and just get on with it. My parents have had to deal with more than 25 years of shared events, and although it took years for my mum to recover from the split, she put on a brave face every time.
To skip an important event would not only disappoint your kid, but force you to miss important milestones. [i]
Good luck!!
stephanie |
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SKIN: 33,fair.My work env't is skin hell! (flight attend. = dryness&eye circles!) AM: Lavantine Cleansing Oil, squalane, ISOMERS carnosine complex (250x more pow'ful than Idebenone), eye cream varies, JuiceBeauty Antiox Serum, Anthelios SS. PM: Lavantine, squalane, Remergent DNA Repair. Want: Silk Dust |
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Sun Dec 30, 2007 5:22 am |
| You need to go, but if you feel very uncomfortable, just dont go near him. |
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Sun Dec 30, 2007 11:20 am |
| Speaking from the position of a kid who went through this (my parents divorced when I was really young) I'm of the mind just "do it for the child" and interact if you have to. Avoiding your ex might be what you want to do, but your kid will pick up on it (BELIEVE ME) and it could potentially upset them. It really upset my little brother when my mum would go out of her way to avoid my dad. I was older so I dealt with it. Just be civil and it will be over with quickly! |
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32, Fair Skin, combo/break-out prone. Simple routine of REN No. 1 Purity Cleansing Balm and Argan oil as a moisturizer; Clarisonic when needed. That's it! |
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Sun Dec 30, 2007 6:30 pm |
Thank you for your replies.
I know that the kids have the right to have us both there. I know what to "do". I guess what I am after is--how do I talk myself through it? What do I say to my self so that the calm and civil act is no longer an act...?? |
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Sun Dec 30, 2007 8:53 pm |
kittylove...after you get through it enough times, it no longer becomes just an act. The first few times are the hardest, but you'll get through them, and just like almost anything, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. I know that probably doesn't help you now, but it will get easier 
Maybe a little shot of something for your nerves wouldn't hurt either  |
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45, combo skin not sensitive, dark undereye circles - have resigned myself to perfecting concealer application |
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Mon Jan 07, 2008 7:12 pm |
| I just ignore my ex knowing that I go to school functions for my kids, not for my ex. I only talk to him when absolutely necessary. We're like complete strangers. |
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Mon Jan 07, 2008 9:28 pm |
| I make an effort to be friends w/him for our daughters sake. Difficult at times, easy at others. I've by FAR been the nicer one...it would be very easy to be mean, but I just don't let him have that power over me.He WANTS to push my buttons...I just try to go on about my life. It's not worth wasting my energy over. |
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