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Is he interested?
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simran
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Mon Oct 13, 2008 7:45 pm      Reply with quote
you usually talk to someone a few times but not really know them. Then one day u have a long conversation and they casually mention we should have lunch sometime......i would think the person just wants to talk more/catch up rather than he is interested. what is your opinion?

or when its changed to we should meet up for coffee sometime next week the next day. Does that = im interested? And is that a date?

when it comes to someone liking or being interested in me more than friends im abit clueless. i certainly dont want to give anyone a wrong impression as i like someone else and the person likes me too lol.

while i would say yes to meeting for coffee in such a situation....i wouldnt think its a date but rather just a catch up as friends.

what you think?

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cortigirl
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Mon Oct 13, 2008 9:15 pm      Reply with quote
IF a guy is single they can never be friends unless they are gay. The guy obviously has a thing for you and thinks there may be something there. So usually you go for coffee and see if you are even more compatible as circumstances can make or break it.

If i were in your situation and the guy wasn't a total waste of time then i'd go for coffee with him. Just stress the friendship factor! Meaning just don't flirt with him. And if he thinks more should happen just let him know you are only interested in being friends.

But be prepared that a guys wants something even MORE when they know they can't have em Smile Maybe different for some people but i have yet to find a guy that's only interested in being "friends".



{quote="simran"]you usually talk to someone a few times but not really know them. Then one day u have a long conversation and they casually mention we should have lunch sometime......i would think the person just wants to talk more/catch up rather than he is interested. what is your opinion?

or when its changed to we should meet up for coffee sometime next week the next day. Does that = im interested? And is that a date?

when it comes to someone liking or being interested in me more than friends im abit clueless. i certainly dont want to give anyone a wrong impression as i like someone else and the person likes me too lol.

while i would say yes to meeting for coffee in such a situation....i wouldnt think its a date but rather just a catch up as friends.

what you think?[/quote]

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simran
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Tue Oct 14, 2008 1:18 am      Reply with quote
the thing is going for coffee and or lunch has been a usual thing iv done before with my friends and we usually catch up during then. Iv even had lunch one on one before but that was a sort of catch up to with a guy in my same year. The guy I just mentioned in this thread I dont know as well n not in my usual friend circle, but he was around and one day we got talking. And yea his not a total waste of time in the sense that I am usually curious about people from different cultures or even countries...their opinions on things etc. So it would be worth the time and i reckon personally networking is good, you never know when a person can help you out or you help them out. I wouldnt be looking for anything more than friendship with him as im kinda involved with someone other at the moment but i take this as a good moment to expand my social network circle.

Haha i had in another instance where someone at uni sought me out after class and asked me outside the class if i wanted to go out for coffee sometime. He was and even seemed nervous. And i dint even know him at all. I would say i had spoken once to him all semester directly and that was about skool work. So that one i knew was definatly a date lol.....and it wouldnt even be ethical i think cause i was teaching that class for the paper which he was in...so i kindly sad NO to that one and ignored him the rest of the semester so that i dont give him any ideas......

now back to this guy, because this person above that i mentioned asked me soooo casually during our long conversation for lunch. i had replied yea we should sometime...as because his not in my usual circle of people i thought we could catch up sometime.....but then next day he sent me a message and asked how about coffee sometime next week lol. Which got me thinking the other day lol and my best friend google says coffee = date/interested.

al this can be quite confusing Laughing

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sahmisme
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Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:55 am      Reply with quote
I would assume it's only as friends unless he specifies otherwise. I'm sure you can 'read' him at lunch or coffee to get a feel for what his intentions are. You also have to be upfront about your intentions and be aware of any signals you might be giving off to him. It's best to just talk about it and get it out in the open but that can be awkward sometimes, especially with someone you might be developing a friendship with.
simran
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Thu Oct 30, 2008 4:01 am      Reply with quote
i think he likes me........im sure of it

strong eye contact, alot of smiling, even caught him looking at me...playfully hitting/touching my arm.......aside from this though always talks in a friendly manner.


i dont think im flirty type well i dont do things intentionally so hopefully m not giving wrong vibes.

nomore one on one lunch times or coffee..........at least not for a loooooooooong short to get some space........before things get complicated

godd i have a really hard time saying no to people.

ps. his a really nice person and i dnt want to kill a good friendship

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cortigirl
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Thu Oct 30, 2008 12:04 pm      Reply with quote
I told you he'd want more LOL :P





simran wrote:
i think he likes me........im sure of it

strong eye contact, alot of smiling, even caught him looking at me...playfully hitting/touching my arm.......aside from this though always talks in a friendly manner.


i dont think im flirty type well i dont do things intentionally so hopefully m not giving wrong vibes.

nomore one on one lunch times or coffee..........at least not for a loooooooooong short to get some space........before things get complicated

godd i have a really hard time saying no to people.

ps. his a really nice person and i dnt want to kill a good friendship

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Thu Oct 30, 2008 2:12 pm      Reply with quote
btw, did it ever occur to u that u would be interested in this guy even though u r attached?

I know in your case, you're not....

I'm in a similar situation as u but the only difference is I'm not sure if the guy's interested or not and he's a family frd... And I'm kinda interested in him but I have a steady bf already. Anyways, sry to be off topic. Sad
simran
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Thu Oct 30, 2008 2:42 pm      Reply with quote
i may have considered it if i wasnt attached but i am.......and i wudnt risk that over a new interest.......cause my one tops all Very Happy

stardusty why dont u have a catch up over lunch or coffee with your interest and see if anything is there? Wink

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Stardustdy
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Thu Oct 30, 2008 3:59 pm      Reply with quote
simran wrote:
i may have considered it if i wasnt attached but i am.......and i wudnt risk that over a new interest.......cause my one tops all Very Happy

stardusty why dont u have a catch up over lunch or coffee with your interest and see if anything is there? Wink


well I just had lunch with him but we just talk about stuff in general... I guess he's just friendly in general to many others so I'm trying not to get the wrong idea. Besides, I'm attached already... but I'm sad to say that this guy is better than my bf though. Embarassed I know I shouldn't be thinking this way but I can't help it! haha

So Simran, r u gonna be frds with that guy or r u just gonna avoid him so he won't get the wrong idea? Smile
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Thu Oct 30, 2008 7:06 pm      Reply with quote
I had a similar situation like yours stardusty. I moved into a condo with a guy i was with for 7 yrs..and met a new guy in the building. We were just friends..and i NEVER would have thought anything would have come out of it. But i ended up realizing that i get along more with this guy then the guy i was with. So the bf and i broke up and the new guy and i have been living together since. Going strong for 3 yrs now Smile




Stardustdy wrote:
simran wrote:
i may have considered it if i wasnt attached but i am.......and i wudnt risk that over a new interest.......cause my one tops all Very Happy

stardusty why dont u have a catch up over lunch or coffee with your interest and see if anything is there? Wink


well I just had lunch with him but we just talk about stuff in general... I guess he's just friendly in general to many others so I'm trying not to get the wrong idea. Besides, I'm attached already... but I'm sad to say that this guy is better than my bf though. Embarassed I know I shouldn't be thinking this way but I can't help it! haha

So Simran, r u gonna be frds with that guy or r u just gonna avoid him so he won't get the wrong idea? Smile

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simran
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Fri Oct 31, 2008 1:55 pm      Reply with quote
wow cortigirl thats kool that you had a good outcome Very Happy

stardusty i will be friends with him but try to meet with him less for coffee or lunches lol.........although he hasnt said anything about liking me i was thinking i should just ask him outright...........maybe he is just friendly Rolling Eyes ...........but then how do i ask without making the situation awkward?

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otherloulou
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Fri Nov 07, 2008 2:01 am      Reply with quote
simran wrote:
wow cortigirl thats kool that you had a good outcome Very Happy

stardusty i will be friends with him but try to meet with him less for coffee or lunches lol.........although he hasnt said anything about liking me i was thinking i should just ask him outright...........maybe he is just friendly Rolling Eyes ...........but then how do i ask without making the situation awkward?


Simran, I think you can avoid awkwardness if you say something like 'Oh that sounds great... I'll just check with my bf if I need to be anywhere else that day, but it should be fine.'

By mentioning your other half you give him the message that you're not interested in anything except friendship.

Stardusty, I would do the opposite ie not mention your bf at all and see if the other guy brings him up in conversation. If he doesn't, it probably means he's interested in you!

Loulou xx
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Mon Nov 10, 2008 10:55 pm      Reply with quote
otherloulou, won't that mean he's not interested if he doesn't bring up if I have a bf or not as he doesn't really care??... Cuz I think if he wants to be something more than just frds, then he would certainly ask if I have a bf or not,right?.... hhm I might be wrong Very Happy

cortigirl, yeh good outcome. I guess it does take a lot of courage to do that?

simran, so how're things with u and the guy? hehe Smile
simran
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Tue Nov 11, 2008 1:03 am      Reply with quote
aah he wanted to meet up again, that would have been 3 times in a row. So i told him i wont be in then and well i postponed it for now Confused

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simran
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Wed Nov 26, 2008 12:19 am      Reply with quote
just a general question im curious....if a guy says "i like you ur a nice girl" what you think it means?

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