How do you keep stress under control?
EDS Skin Care Forums Forum Index » EDS Lounge

free skin care · Fri Aug 28, 2009 4:01 pm

As we all know, stress can contribute to aging in a huge way. How do you keep your stress under control? Is there anything you do that specifically helps you?

One of my biggest factors of stress is dealing with painful family relationships - my mom specifically. I don't know how to handle it at times. There are times when I just cry and cry because of the pain she causes. It's August and I'm already stressing out over going home for the holidays and seeing her and being around my family. It's huge, blended family and very complicated.

How do you deal?

free skin care · Fri Aug 28, 2009 4:53 pm

Hi BellaKai
Boy I can sure attest to the stress caused by families!! And just when we should be enjoying the holidays the most, there's always ONE you would like to strangle.

For a long time I was tyrannized by my own mother, who is now 93 and not one bit mellowed-out. Now I don't go see her at all and we are both happier I believe! We talk on the phone and that does the trick. My sister completely avoids her.

Is there a kindred spirit in your large family who could run interference for you and occupy Mommy Dearest's time so you wouldn't be saddled with her? Could they all pitch in and insulate you from her? Surely they know what a pain she is and how hurtful she is to you. If not, tell them and gather support! That way you can look forward to your well-earned holiday instead of dreading it. Some mothers are toxic and we have to protect ourselves.

free skin care · Fri Aug 28, 2009 5:09 pm

I second that! I haven't seen my sister in over 10 years and it took that long of a separation for me to figure out the twisted mind games. She's my only living family besides my son but I just can't be around someone where it's so unilateral that you're existing only to give them praise, or for them to vent frustrations or put you down or whatever. I grew up with emotional abuse and decided as an adult not to be abused anymore but it took a long time for me to walk away from that relationship. I changed so much when I did, it was really unreal, I got to be me and it was OK!

It's hard to say in your situation but if you can have someone else that understands and "gets" the abuse for you to have a liaison, someone to use as a buffer, to tell you "it's not you." There's so much written about narrcasicm and toxic relationships, it's really difficult though when the pain and damage runs really deep.

I do want to say I so get it, no amount of therapy or counseling really helped me until I walked away.

free skin care · Fri Aug 28, 2009 8:33 pm

Let your body express all the distress through some medium like dance or singing.

Some people like yoga, I like singing. You sing all your pains away. Or painting, or sport. Or anything really new, that you never tried.

free skin care · Sat Aug 29, 2009 3:44 pm

Well I guess my advice is a little old fashioned but my best stress busters are having a nice cup of tea, a good old cry and sleep. These things always make me feel miles better!

Of course things like yoga and meditation are wonderful and really do work but I find that you have to really establish a practice with these things and do them every day to get the full benefits rather than just doing them ad hoc. Activities that take total concentration such as playing a musical instrument, knitting, dancing or even (my favorite) a good old game of Chess are also wonderful for altering your mood and providing relief when you are feeling the strain.

Sat Sep 05, 2009 2:25 am

I am terrible at dealing with it, and end up working 17 hour days and over the weekends. Some recent health issues have forced me to re-evaluate so I can tell you what works for me now:

-making sure that weekends are work-free
-regular massages
-acupuncture
-exercise
-time with friends
-chocolate Smile

-wine and a good book

Automatic Message

If this is your first visit to the EDS Forums please take the time to register. Registration is required for you to post on the forums. Registration will also give you the ability to track messages of interest, send private messages to other users, participate in Gift Certificates draws and enjoy automatic discounts for shopping at our online store. Registration is free and takes just a few seconds to complete.

Click Here to join our community.

If you are already a registered member on the forums, please login to gain full access to the site.