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Fri Jan 15, 2010 8:42 am  |
I am in a relatively new relationship with a great guy and we are both late 40s....
Question -
Sometimes he refers to me as his girlfriend - that sounds odd to me...like we are too far along in life for that term.
Sometimes he calls me a lady. Whenever I think of a lady - I think of my grandmother with her sturdy pumps, apron, hairnets and corset and church friends.
I don't think I am a girl or a lady - I feel like a woman - so I call myself his womanfriend.
My nextdoor neighbor - was a widower in his late 70s - he dated women from his town and referred to them as "ladyfriends".
I wear jeans, long hair - and running shoes much of the time...
What would you call me or us ?
Do words have meaning here? I cannot bring myself to call him my boyfriends, I call him Ken...Ken my friend 
Anyone relate?
BF |
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Fri Jan 15, 2010 8:49 am |
Lover ?  |
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Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:18 am |
well, yeah, that would raise a few eyebrows at family gatherings  |
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Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:24 am |
Its a difficult one to solve, as he may be using the terms completely lovingly. Often times we all use phrases that can have a double meaning - like friend, mate etc which have a personal meaning that others don't often know about.
How do you refer to him? Its an interesting thought though isn't it. But I don't think anyone is too old to be called boyfriend/girlfriend though.
For example I have some women friends who would love the term "Lady" because they would equate it with someone who is very well presented, young - kind of like a young Audrey Hepburn looking sophisticated and stylish and all, not a grandmother with pumps, apron and hairnet. |
_________________
FlexEffect Trainer |
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Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:17 pm |
How about the benign, politically correct "significant other"?
My neighbors are a couple in their mid-30's, living together (for years) with kids (not married) and they refer to each other as boyfriend and girlfried. I think the terms are still acceptable.
Sean makes a good point, what do you call him? |
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Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:58 pm |
| My friend, Ken |
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Fri Jan 15, 2010 5:09 pm |
| Barefootgirl wrote: |
| My friend, Ken |
Well then, there you go. He can say, "my friend, BFG"!  |
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Fri Jan 15, 2010 5:20 pm |
| How about better half (said with a smile), Paramour, gentlemen friend or said with humor "My best guy friend. |
_________________
Enjoying dermalogica with my ASG and Pico toner ** Disclosure: I was a participant without remuneration in promotional videos for Ageless Secret Gold and the Neurotris Pico Emmy event. |
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Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:52 pm |
I'm in the same boat as you BFG, except I'm even older and dating the same guy for years. I just introduce him as "this is <insert name>". I never feel like I have to declare our status to anyone.
If you're living together you could introduce him as "my co-vivant"  . |
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Fri Jan 15, 2010 11:48 pm |
Girlfriend/boyfriend sounds fine to me. You could be 90, and it would work. I am not at all fond of "significant other" or "SO" and terms like "roommate," "lover," and even "friend" (when you are clearly more than just friends) are just a mite too coy for me. By the same token, it bothers me when straight women refer to their female friends as "girlfriends." (Yes, I am pretty picky.)
I was at a party once when a man introduced another man as his partner. My husband asked "what kind of business are you in?" I just wanted to disappear |
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Sat Jan 16, 2010 11:47 am |
| Barefootgirl wrote: |
| well, yeah, that would raise a few eyebrows at family gatherings |
| Quote: |
| I was at a party once when a man introduced another man as his partner. My husband asked "what kind of business are you in?" I just wanted to disappear |
I am cracking up at these 2 comments!
BFG - Yes, my family would probably have similarly raised eyebrows!
Hermosa - How utterly embarrassing! 
Over here, I've often heard people who are not in the first blush of youth referring to their partners as "the mister" or "the missus" in a gentle, joking kind of way.
You could also say, "my other half". Or is that more applicable to married couples only? |
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Sat Jan 16, 2010 7:00 pm |
| call him your 'date' perhaps? It implies that you're more than friends but keeps it casual enough that you won't get uncomfortable. |
_________________
Combination - dehyrdated, acne, sensitive, late 20's. |
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Sat Jan 16, 2010 8:58 pm |
| How about ...This is my guy Jonathon - or whatever his name is. |
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Enjoying dermalogica with my ASG and Pico toner ** Disclosure: I was a participant without remuneration in promotional videos for Ageless Secret Gold and the Neurotris Pico Emmy event. |
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Thu Jan 21, 2010 7:48 pm |
| I prefer boyfriend/girlfriend because it implies you are more than friends and probably having sex. A lot of people use "partner" these days, gay or straight, and I always assume they mean business partner. It's such a cold term to me. I'd rather just get married because everything sorts itself out automatically! |
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Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:15 pm |
I am not a fan of using the term "boyfriend or girlfriend" either when two people are dating and they're both past the age of 40. As you get older this just seems so juvenile for some reason.
Whenever my older friend (age 61) refers to the guy in her new romantic relationship (and this is when we are taking about the fella when he isn't around - lol) she always references him as her "Beau" - and I like that because it's clear to me that he is more than a "friend". As for one-on-one introductions with people she knows, my friend will often use the art of body language to convey the status of her relationship. Instead of verbally announcing the guy as her boyfriend she tends to set it up that she is holding his left hand as she makes the rounds of a room and then uses his first name only during the introduction. As far as she is concerned there is no need to preface the introduction with "meet my boyfriend...". If people can't figure out that they are a couple then they must be a bit dense (is her attitude - ha, ha!). |
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Fair with mild rosascea & combination skin (dry with oily t-zone) |
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