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Tue Sep 28, 2010 12:44 am  |
Hi
I am so desperate I don’t know where to start with my skincare and I definitely need to be doing something to help myself
Firstly a little about me.I am 42 years old. I have suffered with BDD since a young child so do have problems with how I look in my face. This led to anorexia from the age of about 15 / 16 to 33 ish because I couldn’t control what my face looked like so I controlled my weight. I don’t think this has helped my skin at all. In life I have been very much alone even where my family are concerned. I have a strange family relationship. Never really felt loved or wanted especially by my mum who did used to say some awful things to me when I was younger in not being wanted or my dad not wanting or loving me etc (they divorced when I was 3 years old) anyway I guess that may have led to my BDD disorder. I grew up with the dream I would meet someone who would love me for me. Unfortunatley that has never happened. Ive never had a real proper relationship. Ive got mixed up with people who just didn’t think anything of me and I seem to be a passing thing for them when they have no one else. I was with someone for a long time but again he only saw me when he didn’t have his friends and to be honest I think I was just a base for him as he messed around with young girls over and over and having me in the background made it more exciting for him when he cheated. Im now 42 years old. Still very lonelu in life. I know people will say that a relationship is not the bee all and end all but to be alone as a child and then your first half of your adulthood really is not a nice way to live despite what people may say. I don’t belive anyone really likes to be alone especially when it is year after year after year
Anyway back to the present. I am 42 years old now and yes I do look a lot older than I am which really is not helping me at all in trying to lead any kind of social life. Most of them time I want to hide away as I feel so old looking and ugly because of it. I just exist. I would reallylike to be enjoy my life and meet someone to have the love and share things with like most people do. It seems I am also starting to go through the menopause too.
My skin has lost elasticity some more. I have eye bags (You can really notice the tear trough marks under my eyes) and a lot of crepiness under the eyes and a little drooping of the eyelids. . I have frown lines between my eye brows and crows feet.
What I would like help on is general skincare to help with firming up and caring for my skin overall and to helpwith the problems with my eye issues
Please could someone help me in what sort of creams to be getting. Also are there any other things I should maybe looking at like non surgical procedures that can tighten the under eye ( laser / thermage etc) or derma rollers to use?
I know each and everyone of us on here are all feeling this too but I would be so grateful for any help people could giveme
Many thanks
Sally |
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Sally |
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Tue Sep 28, 2010 12:46 am |
| Sorry I also forgot to say that as i live alone and only run my house on a low wage my budget is not great as in i coldnt afford £100's of pounds for just a couple of few creams |
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Sally |
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Tue Sep 28, 2010 1:07 am |
Sorry I keep having little afterthoughts that may help when or if anyone can give me any advice:-
I also live in the uk. Although they said I could get over anorexia the drs said the fat image would kind of stop with me. This is true. I do eat anything now even crisps biscuits etc but I eat them in moderation and do generally eat a good diet with fruit and veg and fish etc and drink water with a bit of lemon juice in through out the day. I also exercise about 4 times a week (gym and cardio)
I was wondering if any supplmenets could help firm my skin too. I only take multi vitamin daily at the moment
Thank you again
Sally |
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Sally |
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sam dent
New Member
 
Joined: 26 Sep 2010
Posts: 1
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Tue Sep 28, 2010 2:19 am |
| hi there i,m sorry that you are feeling so bad about yourself. i am no expert but your low self esteem could be making things seem a whole lot worse than they are. when you have low self esteem you tend to focus on perceived faults a whole lot more. i would advise you to see a gp and maybe get some counselling. when your emotional problems are sorted you may still want to have treatments to improve your appearance. i believe that fillers are good having had them myself. i also recommend that you consult with a qualified practitioner / cosmetic surgery advisor,so they can give the appropriate advice for your particular needs. good luck and i wish you a happier more beautiful future. |
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sam dent |
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Tue Sep 28, 2010 2:51 am |
Hi sally
 sending you a smile and a hug first of all. I'm really so sorry to here of all the things you have been through. I have had similar problems myself. I will not say I had anorexia but I certainly had odd eating habits, limiting food and was very low on protein for years and I think that's had a big impact on my skin now. I went from looking young for my age to looking double my age very quickly  .
Also know what its like to just exist and not live because you don't like the way you look. (Since I started rapidly aging last Nov I've found it hard to do anything).
Anyway to products etc... since I came on this website I've lernt a lot (still learning though!) Firstly are you using a vitamin c serum? This is ment to be proven to help build collegen along with other great benefits. There are lots of threads on it, the cheapest form seems to be d.I.y. (although like you I live in the uk and can't find any suppliers here so it would mean ordering from usa).
Other threads to look up include sun screen and supplements. I'm experimenting at the moment trying pycnogonel, fish oils and l carnosine.
The under eye area is a major problem for myself too. I am certain at some point I will have to have surgery to remove my eye bags. I'm sorry I don't know a lot about different procedures, I hope someone else on here can advise you more. A lot of people have had great success with easy eye care solutions (big thread in product reviews section).
this reply is turning into a novel! So for now I will say hope you get lots of other good replies.
I ment to also say that is fantastic that you got over your eating problems, that is great and all the healthy foods your eating now will really help your skin now I'm sure. I will send another reply if I can think of any other useful info xx |
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Tue Sep 28, 2010 9:48 am |
Hi
thank you both for taking the time to reply to me
Samdent i am actually undergoing cognitive behaviour therapy which does have a good success rate for people with body dismorphic. I am trying my utmost to keep an open and positive mind on this. it is hard as i have had this ugly image from a young child. I truely knw what you mean in that my perception maybe alot worse than the real thing. However i have noticed an even faster increase in aging. im not sure if this is to do with the menopause but there is definately a greater chnange happening which for someone like myself is even more soul destroying given my issues. Im not meaning that bad in anyway that other people are not affected as i know this is most certainly not the case
Butterfliesandflowers (what a lovely username  ) Thank you for your response. Im guessing my post may have come close to the bone for you or so it seems from your reply. I hope it was not upsetting in anyway but i really did want to thank you for writing back to me. It meeans alot. I am trying to find a good vitamin c serum and have been thinking on the easy eye solution. I also look at cosmetic surgery over and over. I really am at a loss at what to do. Its getting to the point where i can just go to work but as a social life i just want to hide away because i am looking so much older especially around my eyes
xx |
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Sally |
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Wed Sep 29, 2010 3:27 pm |
Hi Salster68, our backgrounds are very similar. I also grew up with an abusive mother, never really felt loved by either parent, and have spent years in loveless friendships/situations and have been better off by myself much of the time since my 20s which has led to a very lonely lifestyle also as I approach 40. It is very sad, I can totally relate. I do not have anorexia but have had trouble for years taking care of myself. For years I have done some of what I need to do to look healthy and good but got bad plastic surgery 5 years ago, got depressed, stopped taking supplements, then stopped exercising, then started going in the sun because I thought helioplex was the same thing as mexoryl...I never bothered with Retin-a & just used stuff like Olay Regenerist. One day I woke up and started to get wrinkles depsite knowing better, and I started to hate wearing make-up etc... It's been a rough two years but I've learned a LOT from this board and will be forever indebted to all the great posters/threads on here.
Here is what has helped me the most:
*A good diet. Good amounts of protein, carbs and fats at every meal. The Zone and Perricone are the ones I like the most. I also like French Women Don't Get Fat which advocates all things in moderation.
*Fish oil supplements help metabolism and skin quality. Vitamin C and MSM are also helpful. Alpha Lipoic acid is good for blood sugar metabolism which I have noticed has gotten harder to control the last few years.
*I am using copper peptides but don't recommend them for you; while I am having good results they take patience and you may be too stressed out to use them. My Retin-a should be here any day now. I also have Avene Retrinal .1% which is a precursor form of Retin-a. A retinoid is an age reversal product which will reverse the sun damage while plumping up your skin through increased collagen production.
*Stay indoors as much as you can. Use a good high ppd sunscreen like Avene, La Roche Posay, Bioderma. I like Bioderma Photomax spf 50. It comes in a tinted version also. There is also Garnier Ambre Solaire and Nivea Light Sensation sunscreens which you can order from Europe. I think the Nivea contains tinosorb which is what is in Bioderma. Anyway, the Nivea and Garnier may be a little more cost effective.
*U.S. sunscreens like Neutrogena with helioplex do not provide good UVA protection. UVA rays can damage your skin every day of the year.
*Light exercise, something enjoyable like walking. I've gone to gyms and that be self esteem building too. If you can afford it that might be a good option. I'm lifting weights also; a lack of muscle tone really seems to affect how I look and feel about myself.
*Tua Viso diy facelift device. I recommend this because it really did turn my skin around in a matter of weeks when I started using it last spring. I went from never getting noticed to having people comment on my age and skin practically everywhere I went. The Tua Viso is a great little gadget for improving sagging and skin tone. I love it. I'm going to upgrade to the Tua Trend if I get the moolah for my birthday.
http://www.tinarichards.com/
http://www.ncnproskincare.com/rejuvenating-tools/tua-trend-face-ship-free-us.html
*Light peel like lactic acid. I have just done three 55% peels. They are a several day commitment kind of thing. The face gets a little peely & red. I'm planning on doing a 15% TCA peel next month or in November.
http://www.makeupartistschoice.com/catalog/At_Home_Chemical_Peels-10-1.html |
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Wed Sep 29, 2010 3:50 pm |
Hi gretchen,
that's good to hear you have had good results from the tua viso, Im going to look it up now. Had read a brief article about it a couple of weeks ago saying kate moss uses it and I thought yeah right. .. but its good to hear it really does deliver results. Can it be used around the eye area? Does it help with eye bags? Thanks gretchen |
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Wed Sep 29, 2010 5:33 pm |
| butterfliesandflowers wrote: |
Hi gretchen,
that's good to hear you have had good results from the tua viso, Im going to look it up now. Had read a brief article about it a couple of weeks ago saying kate moss uses it and I thought yeah right. .. but its good to hear it really does deliver results. Can it be used around the eye area? Does it help with eye bags? Thanks gretchen |
I think it does. It does definitely squeeze the eye bags really good. The eyebrow exercise is a matter of precision. I think I have it right but it's a day by day thing. My eyebrows are higher than they were months ago there's no doubt about that. My eyelids though... I put copper peptides on them and now am having to backtrack. My CP Night Eyes got here today though so I'm hoping every day will be a good eye day in the near future! |
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