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Tue Oct 19, 2010 1:01 am  |
Do you have a horrible story of something that made you feel like you wanted to end it all because life is becoming too painful to wake up to? Did you reach the light at the end of your tunnel?
Do tell! Because i'm having the worst couple of yrs of my life and it's just getting worse...and i'm curious how others may cope with these situations... |
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Vancouver, BC Canada. Oil cleansing method all the way! |
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Tue Oct 19, 2010 1:46 am |
I'm really sorry to hear how you're feeling, cortigirl.
You will get through it, but you have to hang on in there. It's not easy, but it is possible.
I kept reminding myself how much my family and friends would miss me if I wasn't around anymore, and I just couldn't bring myself to do that to them.
Also, bear in mind the fact that nothing lasts forever - and this refers to the bad things as well as to the good. So the awful way you're feeling and the events which are making you feel that way will come to an end. You mentioned "the light at the end of the tunnel" - always remember that it is there, it exists and you will eventually see it again.
Sometimes my grandmother's words helped me. She used to tell me that if something is meant to be, then it will happen; if it's not meant to be, then it won't. Accept this with good grace, but also strive to make the best of things. I learnt how to something good out of terrible situations though this (eg, since I could hardly walk anymore, I took it as the opportunity to finally learn how to swim.)
I'm not sure of the specifics of why you're feeling so bad at the moment, but it can help to learn that others have been through the same kind of thing and survived. The way I look at it is: if they can do it, then so can I.
I hope that things will work out okay for you soon, but please do pop back here anytime you need to talk.
xxxx |
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Tue Oct 19, 2010 3:42 am |
My sister died under very terrible circumstances four years ago. He fiance didn't take her to the hospital in time (she had diabetes), and she passed away, 34 years old. I held her hand at the hospital and still today the feeling are so unreal, I cant quite grap the situation yet.
She was my everything, my best friend, the person that inspired me, talked to her every day.. She lived 8 hours away, so we didn't meet so often as I would.
I fell down the deepest, blackest hole there is. I got physically sick, I still am, I have problems with my joints. I getting better for every day. we it just happened I wanted to die, I couldn't see anything worth living for. That was my feeling, and I think it a natural feeling for someone who has gone throw something very painful and indescribable.
I don't want to die, I don't want the rest of my family to go thought that pain again.
Today, my life has taken another direction. I have meet a wonderful guy (I was in a bad relationship when she died, and I hadn't the energy to brake me loose from him until some healing started)
My body has finally started to heal.
I have a tighter and more frequent relationship to my father. We never had any bonds to each other before she died. This spring, when my sister would have been 40 years old, my oldest sister, my father of 75 and me are going to a 14 days trip to Japan. The first trip we four ever do.
There are hope, and I don't know what you are going throw. BUT, you have to talk with somebody, you can't deal with it yourself.
Someone that also had lost his sister suddenly (suicide) told me when it just had happened, "You will always feel the pain - it will always be with you - but you will learn to live Whit it."
And that is how it really is.
Excuse my bad English, not easy to talk about feeling in a foreign language. |
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Sara, 36 Swedish. Brunette, brown eyes. Fair sensitive reactive skin, no wrinkles(yet), enlarged pores, some broken caps and get easily sunspots. Oily but dry skin. Ten months with Tretionin 0,025% gel PM, Vita C AM - SC Phloratin and Freulic. Use DeCleor and Dr H right now. |
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Tue Oct 19, 2010 4:51 am |
| Cortigirl, I have no words of wisdom for you, but I just wanted to say that I am so sorry to hear you are feeling this way and will keep you in my prayers. |
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Tue Oct 19, 2010 6:14 am |
Cortigirl - everyone has their ups and downs. Unfortunately, when we fall into a black hole, it's sometimes impossible to think that we will ever see the light again. But, of course, we do. However, feeling down is normal, depression is not and can be a very serious illness - if you have it, you should seek medical advice.
But even if you don't have depression, finding someone to talk to can be a wonderful help - either a professional or reliable friend. In Australia we have an organisation called Lifeline which is a free telephone service which you can ring and speak to a specially trained person who will listen to your problems. Hearing the words come out of your mouth can be very cathartic and put things into perspective.
All the best.  |
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Born 1950. There's a new cream on the market that gets rid of wrinkles - you smear it on the mirror!! |
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Tue Oct 19, 2010 6:16 am |
| Sending you my prayers... |
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42! Currently using: NCN All-in-One, Mito-Q cream, Eviron AVST, Osea, Grateful Body. Wouldnt be without: Rhassoul clay, avocado oil, Glorybe Herbals hydrosols and perfume oils |
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Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:36 am |
Most people have days they feel that way to one degree to another, but when it is at the point of wanting to end it or to not wake up, then it is time to get help.
If this is affecting you personally, the fact that you reached out is the first step and shows you still want a connection to this world. If it is on behalf of someone else, then support them through it and help them get thelp.
I would contact a professional and there are many levels to start out with. Hot-lines, clergy and such is free. Finding a therapist is another step, but please get help as you are not alone and should not go through this alone.
Life is always a leap of faith and no guarantee. But if you don't play it out till the end, there is no second chance or "do over", no chance to change a regret.
Research "dark night of the soul". I have heard a lot of people mention that they have felt like they have gone or are going through this.
With the economic times right now and all of the negative news, it's hard to not get bogged down into a spiral of negativity. Anyone going through it personally, of course feels it more than most. I hear countless stories from friends at our age that have lost everything.
There are days when our burdens are much to bear, but the alternative is that when you give yours up, someone else takes it on.
I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers and wish you luck. But most of all, happiness with yourself and faith in destiny. I look at every obstacle and roadblock as a chance to learn or that the universerse is ending me a message. Even a tunnel has a light at the end. Keep that end in mind as you travel through and know that even in the darkness, you are not alone. |
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Joined the 50 club several years back, blonde w/ fair/sensitive skin, Texas humidity and prone to rosacea, light breakouts and sunburns, combo skin type, starting to see sundamage and fine lines |
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Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:46 am |
cortigirl,
I could fill pages with devastating stories that made me feel that way!
That said the advice you have received about reaching out and talking to someone is the best gift you can give yourself and you deserve it! Help is out there, just please take that step and you can make it better with help, something we all need at certain points in our lives! I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. |
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I'LL SEE YOU ON THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON.... |
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Tue Oct 19, 2010 12:08 pm |
Vanijl, thanks so much for sharing your story..it is so very deeply touching.
and everyone's response to cortigirl is so inspiring.
Cortigirl, you've brought a lot of light to this forum just in expressing that real place that so many of us go thru..and putting us in touch with our hearts.
i've found that whenever i have gone thru an extremely difficult time there is a major shift towards knowing/fulfilling a deeper, more real part of myself that comes as a result. i give you the deepeset most profound sympathy of my heart ..and hope that you are strong enough to go through the transformation that is beckoning to you. |
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71 years, primarily raw living food 35 years(vegan 45 years) herbal tea decoctions, homeopathy, TCM, facial massage, facial exercises, vacu-lifting, gua aha, shiatsu/acupressure, intention, home microcurrrent |
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Tue Oct 19, 2010 9:03 pm |
Cortigirl Big hug
It's always darkest before the dawn, whatever it is that is hurting...soldier on. I've been there too...it's not easy, and you are not alone. Reach out, there are many who can relate, me too. No reason to feel you have to go it alone...Ok?
Keep us posted, or we are going to worry about you!! |
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Tue Oct 19, 2010 10:11 pm |
Hi cortigirl,
I hope you'll feel better soon. I have gone through serious stuff myself and I know how hard it can seem in the moment. But what others have said before me is true. Strength can grow out of weakness and true development can come from serious emotional lows.
Please, if you feel like you want to end it all, try and let somebody close to you know how you feel.
All my best and lots of hugs!
Feel better soon. |
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Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:10 am |
Go buy the book "The Power." It is by the woman who brought The Secret to the world. It is uplifting..all about changing your situation from negative to positive. I read it all the time and it helps so much I can't tell you!
So many times one negative leads to another....and anyone can get caught up in that vicious cycle. You need to break that negative cycle and bring joy into your life..and you need some help.
We are all pulling for you as you can see... |
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Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:30 am |
| DragoN wrote: |
Cortigirl Big hug
It's always darkest before the dawn, whatever it is that is hurting...soldier on. I've been there too...it's not easy, and you are not alone. Reach out, there are many who can relate, me too. No reason to feel you have to go it alone...Ok?
Keep us posted, or we are going to worry about you!! |
Already there, I am feeling very concerned that we haven't heard anything from Cortigirl! |
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I'LL SEE YOU ON THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON.... |
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Wed Oct 20, 2010 9:37 am |
DM...me too.
Cortigirl...we're worried about you. You're not alone, no matter what it is, people care.
Whatever it is...you will get through it. It's just what happens, one foot in front of the other no matter how horrible the situation...you can do it.
Hope you are not feeling too lonely, I say that, only because I would have to be in a pretty bad place inside to post something so scary to a bunch of people I don't know too well. And that's ok, I hope you know that.
We are worried about you,...so please...come back and talk to us. We're here for you. |
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Thu Oct 21, 2010 12:35 pm |
Hi
I've been where you are. I am divorced, have 2 children, one committed suicide and the other needs her space from me. You don't know me, but I must say I am good, decent kind person and just didn't deserve all this.
Some suggestions:
Go to a psychiatrist and get the appropriate medicine. It may take awhile to find what is right for you, but it will make a major difference.
Find a hobby that you love. Get involved with yourself. I have no talents at all, but learned to knit, crochet, play piano and bead. After several lessons at knitting the teacher told me "it isn't for me"! Well, I have since made beautiful things.
Life will get better and you will adjust to your new situation. Consider it the "new normal". Please, don't you dare hurt yourself. This is just a bad time, and it will definitely get better.
Hugs,
Linda |
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Thu Oct 21, 2010 6:51 pm |
| Hugs and hoping you check in and see how many people care about your well being. I hope whatever is going on in your life, that there are moments of - if not joy- at least calm - and look for beauty. I hope you can find in every day. |
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I'm Cathy, 54 yrs old. Flexeffect Certified Trainer in the 2004 vrsn - not the newer one. using flexeffect sincee 1999. |
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Thu Oct 21, 2010 8:40 pm |
| almost everybody goes through dark times at least once in their lives. But just know there is light at the end of the tunnel. There are ppl that love you. I just watched this documentary about this young student who committed suicide due to depression. In a way i find it selfish because i see this young woman's family just devastated and torn. Suicide might seem the "easy" way out, but your family will never be able to cope with that for the rest of their lives |
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Late 20's, clarisonic, Vit C serum, hormonal acne, congested pores, combination skin, living in Vancouver Canada |
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Thu Oct 21, 2010 8:45 pm |
This has me really concerned, I noticed last night she was logged on, on the main page. I wrote a pm and by the time I sent it she was off the forum already!
I wish she would check in and see we are here, not judging and wanting to help! |
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I'LL SEE YOU ON THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON.... |
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Thu Oct 21, 2010 9:31 pm |
If I remember anything of being in the state it sounds like she's in, too many things were swirling. Everything had piled up and needed doing and I could barely muster up the energy to put one foot in front of the other, nevermind reassure people I was ok, which seemed like additional pressure. So if she isn't responding, she probably just doesn't have the energy to compose the type of response she'd like to, is all.
I'm saying this because I think its most probably the truth, and to try to lessen your worry. Lets take it as good news that she'd logged on and obviously found that so many sweet hearted people do care!
And Cortigirl, they're all right you know... it really does get better, and you'll get through this. |
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Olive, normal/oily skin. Using rinse-off ocm, Vit C, Tretinoin since Nov/10, GHK since Feb/12, Niacinamide & glucosamine, alternating, & now skipping nights! Concerns include oiliness, hyperpigmentation from occasional zits, 11's & nasolabial folds. |
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Sat Oct 23, 2010 7:08 pm |
I'm so sorry to hear how bad things are.
To answer your question yes I went through horrible times, and now things are much much better. I didn't think I would make it through. The best thing I did was to become more spiritual. Other people use different ways to get through things.
I'm going to pray for you. Maybe find someone to talk to -- a counselor or therapist, they can help you be more objective etc. |
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61 OMG! Health and fitness oriented and I take care of my skin from the inside out and use Klaron, Clindamycin, Tazorac Shikai creams, Beyond Coastal Sunscreen, Clairsonic. |
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Sun Oct 24, 2010 9:33 am |
BC Girl-you are correct about the family part. We have had 2 in our family on the hubby's side, that's why I feel so worried for her. The family has never been the same and there is no going back, it's permanent.
Soemtimes, in a moment of despair, you can write something when you are in a dark place, but then the next moment it wasn't that big of a deal or that maybe you hadn't wanted to share such a personal detail. You feel like you can't take it back because people have seen it and you feel exposed,overwhelemed or its too much attention, especially when there is a large outpouring of response. That happens on facebook alot or emails, texts, etc. I have done that and thought, ooh oversharing, wish I hadn't. It seems private when its a thought expressed but quickly becomes less so once it reaches others. Electronic age has changed how we reach out in times of despair and how rapid response can be.
Just know that peole here do genuinally care and are concerned for you, and just want to make sure you have the support you need. Even a PM to someone! |
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Joined the 50 club several years back, blonde w/ fair/sensitive skin, Texas humidity and prone to rosacea, light breakouts and sunburns, combo skin type, starting to see sundamage and fine lines |
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Sun Oct 24, 2010 12:29 pm |
Hey guys, sorry.... i totally forgot i posted this and haven't come back on the forum for a few days! MY bad...
I appreciate hearing everyones experiences. I do know that others may have gone through worse... and i am feeling a little selfish because of the way that i feel.
Not sure if you all remember, but a little while ago i was posted that i was convicted of fraud over 5000. The whole story was a bit of a hoax to begin with. My spouse and i never took it serious, and did our best to express how silly and ridiculous that is. We didn't commit the crime they were accusing us of. We are exceptional people.... had everything going for us. He had a wonderful job... i am getting my life started in photography, graphic design and makeup..
Well, the impossible ended up reality. The judge decided to convict us and thought we were too perfect. She thinks the "too perfect" people are the ones you have to be most careful of. This changed my opinion of our world in a matter of 20 seconds. Then i question, why would I want to be a part of this disgusting world if they do this to innocent people more often then not?
So now we are under house arrest for a year, my spouse lost his amazing job because of this, our reputation is ruined by it being in the paper several times and we have a 100k debt to pay off.
My body has been so exhausted over this..so i have had several days of sleep.. I know things could be worse, but it's going to be very tough to get through this. We didn't deserve this! |
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Vancouver, BC Canada. Oil cleansing method all the way! |
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Sun Oct 24, 2010 12:35 pm |
Thanks lori,
Luckily i have had several amazing supporters in my life, and i am glad i have it on here too. It is my favourite place to come as silly as that may sound!
I just lacked energy to come online, and let alone my memory is just horrible now. Everything just seems like a big messy blur! Today is the first day i'm feeling a little bit better..but of course i had to wake up with a headache, ugh!
All i have been doing for 4 days is sleep-watch movies- and eat lol! I got my spouse to buy me a stationary bike...so i am going to try using that often and do a lot of yoga... I hope it'll make things a little easier on my head and my body!
Thank u all for your support.
| LoriA wrote: |
If I remember anything of being in the state it sounds like she's in, too many things were swirling. Everything had piled up and needed doing and I could barely muster up the energy to put one foot in front of the other, nevermind reassure people I was ok, which seemed like additional pressure. So if she isn't responding, she probably just doesn't have the energy to compose the type of response she'd like to, is all.
I'm saying this because I think its most probably the truth, and to try to lessen your worry. Lets take it as good news that she'd logged on and obviously found that so many sweet hearted people do care!
And Cortigirl, they're all right you know... it really does get better, and you'll get through this. |
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Vancouver, BC Canada. Oil cleansing method all the way! |
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Sun Oct 24, 2010 12:39 pm |
That's totally weird! I don't remember coming on here last night.... actually..i didn't even have a choice to as our internet was down most of the day due to somebody hitting a shaw tower! GRRRR!
| DarkMoon wrote: |
This has me really concerned, I noticed last night she was logged on, on the main page. I wrote a pm and by the time I sent it she was off the forum already!
I wish she would check in and see we are here, not judging and wanting to help! |
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Vancouver, BC Canada. Oil cleansing method all the way! |
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Sun Oct 24, 2010 12:53 pm |
| cortigirl wrote: |
That's totally weird! I don't remember coming on here last night.... actually..i didn't even have a choice to as our internet was down most of the day due to somebody hitting a shaw tower! GRRRR!
| DarkMoon wrote: |
This has me really concerned, I noticed last night she was logged on, on the main page. I wrote a pm and by the time I sent it she was off the forum already!
I wish she would check in and see we are here, not judging and wanting to help! |
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Can you appeal this "Judges" ruling? I have had an insane dealing with a family court judge over my father and a gold-digging old evil witch! GRRR
That was Wednesday evening, I am just happy to see you are here and doing ok?  |
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I'LL SEE YOU ON THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON.... |
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