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AS4U
New Member
 
Joined: 03 May 2011
Posts: 1
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Tue May 03, 2011 10:47 am  |
I just don't know what to do, I smoked for 13 yrs quit cold turkey it was hard but I didn't it because I knew I needed to, I quite for 5yrs and then started again do to major stress which was stupid but again I went cold turkey found it dead easy this time I even stopped smoking with my mum smoking around me all the time.
My mum been smoking for 25yrs and has some health problems, she's been having teeth problems and has gum disease as a result of the smoking as it suffocates the gums and the bones disintegrating.
Today we went to the dentist as she has an infection and he said that she needs to stop smoking or she will lose all her teeth even though they are in good condition the bone underneath is almost all gone, he was really straight with her and to the point that she needs to stop now if they are to save them, he said that she has 20% chance. I felt that she was making excuses for not quitting like before when she was smoking in the patches and gum and other smoking aids. she told the dentist that this time she's going to use champix to quit, not to happy about it as all reports show high depression and suicide on these tablets.
We left the dentist and the first thing she did is light up a cigarette in my car, I asked her how she can do that after what the dentist said and said I don't like her smoking in the car with me, because it makes me ill and passive smoking isn't good she just ignored me and carried on.
We got home about 15 mins later she's on cigarette 2, again I asked her why and she said that am not being supportive and that she cant just quit because she's stressed and her tooth hurts and rolled out an entire list of excuses, including the fact that she had bad news by the dentist which made me so mad!! she's known she's had gum disease for all these years and done nothing about it and not quitted so what did she expect? I told her that she shouldn't feel sorry for her self and be great full that there is even a 20% as if it was bad news he could have said they need to come out now!.
But no she doesn't see it like that she's just feeling sorry for her self what can I do? if she hasn't stopped for her daughters health, or because she going to lose all her teeth what will make her stop?????? am so frustrated and angry with her I want her to quit! I want my mum back! the one that's not tired all the time the one with out constant tooth pain! I ended up shouting at her which is probably the worst thing I could of done I just feel so helpless.  |
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Tue May 03, 2011 10:51 am |
She has nothing to lose by trying Champix. I know someone who took Wellbutrin, an antidepressant, and it helped her quit. Acupuncture also helps many.
You can't really do anything. Like drinking or overeating, the person has to decide for themselves. Maybe start planning her funeral, asking her what she wants done and how. That might shock her into reality. |
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Tue May 03, 2011 12:10 pm |
I am very sorry you are going through this. It is amazing how addicted people can be and how deep denial can run. When my father was having breathing treatments before his death (emphysema) the man administering his treatments was frequently seen outside the hospital taking cigarette breaks. 
Softskin did have some excellent suggestions.
Best of luck to you - I know how hard it is to feel so helpless, frustrated and angry.
Gidget  |
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Tue May 03, 2011 12:21 pm |
Nothing can help if she doesn't want to quit  . My mom had breast cancer in October - did the surgery - chimo etc ... She didn't smoke for 6 months but she started once again . The problem is not the physical * spam alert * is the mental one ....
I can feel for you and I am on the same boat - trying to figure out something to convince her to quit |
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AS4U
New Member
Joined: 03 May 2011
Posts: 1
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Tue May 03, 2011 12:52 pm |
| Thanks everyone, I think some times people don't realise that the family struggles with the persons * spam alert * as well but in a different way. I joined another forum tonight as well called forums about and have also been given some good advice on the Allen Carr treatment which am reading up on right now if you haven't come across it yet worth having a look quite impressed so far. I think I will book her in for a session anything is worth a go to have my happy mum back. |
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Tue May 03, 2011 12:52 pm |
| She isn't ready to quit and you cannot force her to quit, or do anything to make her ready. It is up to her to find her own path. I am sure you are frustrated and just want the best for your mom, but the more you harp about it, the more she will want to smoke. |
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Tue May 03, 2011 1:04 pm |
| rileygirl wrote: |
| She isn't ready to quit and you cannot force her to quit, or do anything to make her ready. It is up to her to find her own path. I am sure you are frustrated and just want the best for your mom, but the more you harp about it, the more she will want to smoke. |
I agree absolutely, no one can make the choice for another it has to be what she wants. There is nothing you can do to make her quit. |
_________________
I'LL SEE YOU ON THE DARKSIDE OF THE MOON.... |
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