taking care of my skin and still get mistaken for older
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Wed Nov 02, 2011 7:31 am

ever since I was 18 people have described me as 'mature' and saying that I looked 30.

I am now in my mid-late 20s, and some still think I look early 30s. I have been using retin a for two years, peels, exfoliating, and Vitamin C. I think I have very good skin, it's tight, and I have no wrinkles at all.

Once last year I had a doctor tell me that I looked much younger than what I was because of the texture and clarity of my skin. And a few ppl refer to me as a young lady which made me feel good. Cause all my life, ppl always thought of me as being mature.

It's just that recently I had a few situations that made me feel really bad. In college, I had a female professor who always referred to me as 'madaam' whenever she handed over my papers, yet I never heard her say that to the other students who were far much older than what I was.

Then this much older man in his 60s, asked me my age, when I told him he said I didn't look it at all. It ruined my day. He was hitting on me so maybe he just wanted me to be older

I have taken pictures of my face and compared it to women in their 20s and 30s. I look around the same age as the 20 somethings to me. My face still looks really youthful, I look at it in the mirror and dont know what makes me so mature looking. I look at 30 somethings in real life for comparisons and I dont think my skin looks like theirs; I have a 37 year old friends who has deep wrinkles around the mouth and a dull skin tone. My skin is bright and vibrant from all the rpdoucts I use. If I pulled back my face anymore it would rip in half. so I dont need a face lift.

Im confused because I still have guys of all ages hitting on me. I have had 19, 20 years olds try to date me so I can't look over the hill. Maybe I just look like a mature young woman?. I dont know. I know sometimes the younger girls dont befriend me because I probably look a lil too mature for them. Its always been that way my whole life

the only thing i can think of is if its my bodytype. I am not really thin and petite, I am healthy and have wide hips. I plan on changing what I eat

this is just bothering me especially being in college and dealing with agism a bit. I heard a 19 yr old refer to a 25 year old as "old"

anyway I just needed some place to talk about this. because I have been so consistent with my skin care routine for so long and to have someone tell me I dont look my age really hurts

free skin care · Wed Nov 02, 2011 7:55 am

Well it could be lots of things that are making you look older but not your skin so that is wonderful. Hair styles, dress, and makeup can really makes someone look older, or in your case more mature. Also how you express yourself and your facial expressions can be key. If you are the more serious type of person you could be perceived as more mature. Ask a close friend their perspective on why people perceive you as being older. There might be things you can easily change to give a more youthful luck but count your lucky stars that you have such nice skin. I have noticed that some of my friends that look younger laugh alot and are less serious and stressed with life....also they dress younger, wear little makeup, and have very flattery hair styles. Wink

free skin care · Wed Nov 02, 2011 8:02 am

Please don't let this worry you too much you are doing the right things, all the people who say you look older that's just their opinion.

I have a 'baby face' so my cheeks are fuller but if I don't lose the weight these cheeks will turn to sag then I won't look so young, sometimes people look older when they are younger but in the long run you will probably look younger as you get older if you know what I mean.

Its not just wrinkles that make someone look older I have broken caps also a red patch from an accident I have my brother asked if I was wearing too much blusher one day and I wasn't wearing any it really upset me I'm using retin a and vit c early days for me but hoping it will help.

free skin care · Wed Nov 02, 2011 9:38 am

Toby wrote:

Well it could be lots of things that are making you look older but not your skin so that is wonderful. Hair styles, dress, and makeup can really makes someone look older, or in your case more mature. Also how you express yourself and your facial expressions can be key. If you are the more serious type of person you could be perceived as more mature. Ask a close friend their perspective on why people perceive you as being older. There might be things you can easily change to give a more youthful luck but count your lucky stars that you have such nice skin. I have noticed that some of my friends that look younger laugh alot and are less serious and stressed with life....also they dress younger, wear little makeup, and have very flattery hair styles. Wink

I couldn't have said it better. If it's any consolation, SoftsEndz, when I was in my teens and overweight, I was also thought to be much older and many assumed I was the mother to my sibling who was only two years younger than I. I lost the weight (and discovered face exercises about the same time) around the age of 20 and at first people believed I was the age I said I was...and then they didn't and started to ask to see my ID but not because I was back to looking older but because they though I look younger than I claim to be. So those days may be ahead for you too when you do lose weight. Add to that a change of style as well as just feeling good about yourself, and the years will appear to roll off. (What we feel inside does shine out for all to see.)

I would like to reiterate that sometimes it's just the way you carry yourself that makes others think you're older than you are. And if that's the case, I say good on ya! There's nothing more annoying than seeing a grown person acting childish. So continue doing what you're doing. The bonus will be when in 20 years from now, people say to you, "You haven't changed a bit!" because you'll still behave maturely, the efforts you have been making to take care of your skin will pay off, and you will be in good shape and full of style.

When you feel like you've hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up; so get excited about the adventure you're about to embark on as you grow into the best you. Smile

free skin care · Wed Nov 02, 2011 9:41 am

I have always looked older too. I was told that back when I was teenager. I have a mature stately look about myself. I also act conservative..which some view as older. But my skin looks great and is wrinkle free.

Although..I must say now that I am "older".. I do look much younger because of my skin. I also do these things to fool everyone.. I'd say I look about 10 to 13 years younger then I am.

1. dress young... so shop in the misses department and young hip stores. just don't dress in too trendy of clothes..or you'll look silly. But shopping in "mom" sections of stores..avoid.

2. highlights and youthful looking hair. My hair is long..and I have keritan treatments to make it shiny.

3. jeans..no mom jeans..get hip sexy jeans

4. shoes..where a hip shoe..

5. handbag..don't carry a mom bag. get something cool.

6. smile and laugh

7. weight..being overweight makes one look older..so thin is young.

free skin care · Wed Nov 02, 2011 9:57 am

SoftsEndz wrote:

It's just that recently I had a few situations that made me feel really bad. In college, I had a female professor who always referred to me as 'madaam' whenever she handed over my papers, yet I never heard her say that to the other students who were far much older than what I was.

Then this much older man in his 60s, asked me my age, when I told him he said I didn't look it at all. It ruined my day. He was hitting on me so maybe he just wanted me to be older

Are you sure you are not reading more into these 2 situations than was intended? The professor could have called you madame for a lot of reasons. Maybe you act more mature than the other students?

And, with the much older man saying you didn't look your age at all, maybe he meant you looked younger?

free skin care · Wed Nov 02, 2011 10:20 am

I was going to say exactly what rileygirl did.

free skin care · Wed Nov 02, 2011 10:37 am

I have to agree with others that it could be the way you dress, your hair style, makeup.
I know this lawyer who is in her twenties but she acts like she is in her 50's. I do feel sorry for her. It appears that she doesn't know how to live life.

free skin care · Wed Nov 02, 2011 11:30 am

I agree with everyone else, your apparent age is a function of far more than simply skin condition. I spent my entire adult life being mistaken for much younger, and too often treated with a complete lack of respect as a result! I believe this to be due to facial bone structure, petite figure (inc. flat chest), natural looking dyed blonde hair, extroverted personality. This changed somewhat after I dyed my hair red, gained some weight and so dressed down ... nothing to do with my face.

Nothing wrong with broad hips, men of all ages find them incredibly attractive!! It's more sagging chests, protruding tummies and flatter backsides that age us. Chests can be transformed by a properly fitting uplift bra, the stomach and bottom both respond well to nutrition and exercise. Let me know if you want any tips on healthy lifestyle, it is my work and my passion. Embarassed

Wed Nov 02, 2011 12:03 pm

Firefox7275 wrote:

I agree with everyone else, your apparent age is a function of far more than simply skin condition. I spent my entire adult life being mistaken for much younger, and too often treated with a complete lack of respect as a result! I believe this to be due to facial bone structure, petite figure (inc. flat chest), natural looking dyed blonde hair, extroverted personality. This changed somewhat after I dyed my hair red, gained some weight and so dressed down ... nothing to do with my face.

Nothing wrong with broad hips, men of all ages find them incredibly attractive!! It's more sagging chests, protruding tummies and flatter backsides that age us. Chests can be transformed by a properly fitting uplift bra, the stomach and bottom both respond well to nutrition and exercise. Let me know if you want any tips on healthy lifestyle, it is my work and my passion. Embarassed

I defintely will like tips on a healthier lifestyle

Quote:

And, with the much older man saying you didn't look your age at all, maybe he meant you looked younger?

He said that I was mature. And Im used to hearing that I look a bit older so I am pretty sure that's what he meant

I dont dress old at all however I am starting to think it may be the makeup I wear. I naturally have dark circles around my eyes, its heridatory and this may be why I have been mistaken for older

free skin care · Wed Nov 02, 2011 12:11 pm

Yes, having dark circles does not help. Invest is very good quality, even the cost is extremely high cost of makeup.

Wed Nov 02, 2011 12:49 pm

is invest the name of a skin care brand?

Wed Nov 02, 2011 1:27 pm

I happen to find it rude to refer to someone as maadam, we all know we're getting older but we dont need other people to remind us. Not to mention I feel too young to be called maadam

free skin care · Wed Nov 02, 2011 1:53 pm

SoftsEndz, I don't know if you travel much but in some part of the world, "Madam" is actually used as a term of respect and isn't meant to imply you're older. Maybe that wasn't the case for you, and I can understand you being sensitive to the term and taking offense. I used to as well. What's so funny is, when you do start to feel good about yourself, you'll actually not mind it at all. Not saying you don't feel good about yourself, but I have friends in their 30's who hate being called Madam. I had no problem with it, myself when I was 30. In fact, there's a lady who said it then apologized because she did a double-take and thought I looked too young to be Madam. I reassured her it was OK to call me Madam because I was in my 30's. She told me to hush my mouth coz I didn't look a day older than 20 or sth like that. So yes, many do associate the word with older people; but some don't. And if people think you look older when you yourself don't, then don't let it bother you.

Criticism isn't fact; it's just another person's opinion. You can decide for yourself whether it's true or not, and if true, decide what you want to do about it. If not true--as in your case where you don't think you look old--then you can just file it in the trash and forget about it.

Wishing you happiness....

free skin care · Wed Nov 02, 2011 3:52 pm

I find it's a persons demeanour that can swing an age guess either way. Are you very grown up for your age? It's not about wrinkles or sag. People who have experienced a lot of painful events, for example, can seem older than their years.

I was on a train once, and was fascinated by an elderly woman opposite me. She had beautiful skin, no wrinkles, firm skin. She was well groomed and slim. Yet, I still knew she was elderly. Why? I think a person carries the sum of their experience in their aura, and decades of experiences can't be hidden by tight skin.

Simalarly a young person who has a serious inner spirit will come across to others as older/more mature.

I was also assumed to be older when I was young because I was born with the kind of face that encourages strangers to say: cheer up love it can't be that bad. Yet, I'm a happy, emotionally stable person. Weirdly it doesn't find it's way to the outside.

free skin care · Wed Nov 02, 2011 4:11 pm

SoftsEndz wrote:

I happen to find it rude to refer to someone as maadam, we all know we're getting older but we dont need other people to remind us. Not to mention I feel too young to be called maadam

I don't find it rude. It shows respect. I haven't been called madam yet, mainly mademoiselle.

free skin care · Wed Nov 02, 2011 4:26 pm

karenlee wrote:

I think a person carries the sum of their experience in their aura, and decades of experiences can't be hidden by tight skin.

Simalarly a young person who has a serious inner spirit will come across to others as older/more mature.

I was pretty much going to say stuff along the lines of Karenlee Very Happy

It's like babies or infants that sometime have that "old soul" type of aura/demeanor/personality. You get the sense that they've been here before and have all of this innate and magical wisdom. Wink

free skin care · Wed Nov 02, 2011 4:49 pm

I didn't read every response so forgive me if this was already said but a second opinion can't hurt anyway.

First of all, men who are 60, 70, 80 are going to hit on you. These guys never lose their ego's. From 15-100 men think they are the bomb, get used to it!! The ones with money especially think they've got the stuff that women want and yeah...some women do go for that no matter how disguisting it is. Say he thought you were 40 even, how many women really want a man that's 20+ older than them? It's an ego thing, trust me.

Secondly, just because someone calls you ma'dam doesn't mean they think you're older. Especially when they're not calling older women that (such as your professor). Sometimes it's said as a joke like "here you are madam"... it's just an expression. Depdending on where people are from calling every female "ma'am" is normal and expected, etc. In French, madam means "my lady."

I think you're reading wayyyyy too much into things. I dont think you should stress so much.

I turned 35 and I seriously thought my world was going to fall apart THE DAY of my birthday. Well you know what? I woke up and I looked the exact same as I did the day before and I still get hit on all the time by men of all ages, my 36th bday is this month.

Just relax, enjoy yourself while you're young. There's plenty of time to stress about your skin and age when you get older. Stress will only add years to your skin AND your attitude.

Keep your regime going, you'll be fine!!!!!!!!!!! One thing I will say is that if you wear too dark/thick of a foundation and/or too much/too dark of a lipliner, those things (in my opinion) are the two products that will age you the fastest. Maybe tone the makeup down if needed? I wouldn't know because I haven't seen a pic, just mentioning it just in case Wink

free skin care · Wed Nov 02, 2011 4:56 pm

[quote="karenlee"]I think a person carries the sum of their experience in their aura, and decades of experiences can't be hidden by tight skin.

Simalarly a young person who has a serious inner spirit will come across to others as older/more mature. [/quote]

[quote="Glamcat"]I was pretty much going to say stuff along the lines of Karenlee [/quote]

I agree. My now 2 year old, I swear to you ,looked like an "old soul" when he was born. He had a face that just seemed so mature for a newborn. Also thinking back at my school days there were a couple of my friends who looked older than what they were. It had nothing to do with skin but more about a certain maturity displayed in their face and shown in their mannerisms/ expressions. Please don't feel bad about this (I know easier said) as you obviously are taking good care of yourself. I'm sure the future will have the opposite effect for you.

Wed Nov 02, 2011 5:12 pm

The responses in this thread have made me feel better. I do know that I need to work on the internal, which means cutting out all the salt and sugar in my diet so it wont age me. Even if I do look mature, I want to look like a fit and healthy 'mature' for the rest of my years to come. I am going to lose weight because right now I am overweight at the moment

Also, I do wear makeup, lipstick, and eyeshadow, which could be making me appear older. My mom has told me that I shouldn't wear so much, but I naturally have uneven skin tone ( its less uneven from taking care of it, but not even enough to go without makeup)and I need it to even my skin tone out. I am trying to find something to get rid of the raccoon eyes I inherited from my grandmother. I've had this since I was a teen. I think that if I get rid of that, it could help me appear younger to other people.

free skin care · Wed Nov 02, 2011 6:53 pm

It's a good idea to cut out most sugar and salt, but believe it or not the body does need salt - but the right type. You could keep a look out for: Macrobiotic Sea Salt or Celtic Sea Salt - these both have a slightly gray/green hue - they are unrefined and still have all of the minerals in them that nature intended. These minerals are essential for bodily functions. Himalayan Salt I've heard is also good.

Ironically these Macrobiotic/Celtic Sea Salts which are a lot more expensive than regular table salt - but oh so worth it as a bag of the stuff will last you a couple of years - anyhoo I do digress, these salts are what table salt is basically made from - but the processors remove all of the minerals that give it the gray/green hue and these minerals are sold to the vitamin companies to be used in Multivitamin and Mineral Complexes at a far more exagerated cost!

This salt I talk about is so tasty and delicious and you only ned a pinch - but that pinch has albeit in small amounts, the minerals our bodies so need.

free skin care · Wed Nov 02, 2011 7:02 pm

Glamcat, can you buy those salts finely milled? I got regular old sea salt one time and it kind of startled me when I bit down it and was hard. I felt like I was biting a piece of bone or something scary LOL Now I just use it for cooking.

Now I'm thinking about it and I guess you can put it in one of those salt grinders.......its so much work though lol

free skin care · Thu Nov 03, 2011 1:59 am

Skincare wrote:

I have to agree with others that it could be the way you dress, your hair style, makeup.
I know this lawyer who is in her twenties but she acts like she is in her 50's. I do feel sorry for her. It appears that she doesn't know how to live life.

Maybe that lawyer in her 20's that is how she enjoys her life?

I don't think I was partying it up tons in my 20's (well not compared to people I know).

I'm 34, but happen to look younger because I have a rounder face and no wrinkles.
I also don't really wear business clothing where I work at the moment..so that makes me look younger.

I get a lot of strangers calling me "dear,sweetheart", kind of annoying when you are 34.

I kind of think that when you are younger and someone says you are "worldly" could that be another word for easy or um, slutty?
But in a nice way of putting that?
I could be wrong there though.

I don't think too many people look their actual age-most people seem to look older or younger.

free skin care · Thu Nov 03, 2011 5:18 am

flgirl wrote:

Glamcat, can you buy those salts finely milled? I got regular old sea salt one time and it kind of startled me when I bit down it and was hard. I felt like I was biting a piece of bone or something scary LOL Now I just use it for cooking.

Now I'm thinking about it and I guess you can put it in one of those salt grinders.......its so much work though lol

Yes, they do come in finely milled state just like table salt - but the coarse ones could also be put into a grinder. Wink

Just make sure that you buy the type that says: Macrobiotic or Celtic Sea Salt and it has a distinctive gray/green-ish tinge - if it's pure white is has been refined and all of the minerals removed and is pretty much just table salt even though the packaging may still refer to it as Sea Salt...

free skin care · Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:19 am

Ottawa Shopper wrote:

Skincare wrote:

I have to agree with others that it could be the way you dress, your hair style, makeup.
I know this lawyer who is in her twenties but she acts like she is in her 50's. I do feel sorry for her. It appears that she doesn't know how to live life.

Maybe that lawyer in her 20's that is how she enjoys her life?

I don't think I was partying it up tons in my 20's (well not compared to people I know).

I'm 34, but happen to look younger because I have a rounder face and no wrinkles.
I also don't really wear business clothing where I work at the moment..so that makes me look younger.

I get a lot of strangers calling me "dear,sweetheart", kind of annoying when you are 34.

I kind of think that when you are younger and someone says you are "worldly" could that be another word for easy or um, slutty?
But in a nice way of putting that?
I could be wrong there though.

I don't think too many people look their actual age-most people seem to look older or younger.

I know what you mean, but this is not the case for this particular person.

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