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Sat Jan 29, 2005 6:39 am  |
Received this email today and had to share it with you. Enjoy!!!
This is a "heads up" to those friends who haven't experienced it yet and
an explanation to those friends and family who have. Most of you have
read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he
was passed out. Well, read on. While it was an "urban legend," this one
is not. It's happening every day.
My thighs were stolen from me during the night of August 3rd a few years
ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with
someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal.
Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been wholly, if
imperfectly, mine for years? Whose thighs were these? What happened to
mine?
I spent the entire summer looking for them. I searched, in vain, at pools
and beaches, anywhere I might find female limbs exposed. I became
obsessed. I had nightmares filled with cellulite and flesh that turns to
bumps in the night. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living
out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.
Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang because they took pains to match my new rear end (although badly attached at least three inches lower than the original) to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. Now my rear
complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts
would stay in fashion.
It was 2 years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One morning while fixing my hair, I watched, horrified but fascinated, as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced, cleverly and
fiendishly, one section at a time.
Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age was supposed to creep up,
unnoticed and intangible, something like maturity. NO, I was being
attacked, repeatedly and without warning.
In the end, in deepening despair, I gave up my form-fitting T-shirts.
What could they do to me next? My eyes began to remind people that they needed a new pair of Hush Puppies. My poor neck disappeared more quickly than the Thanksgiving turkey it now reminded me of.
That's why I've decided to tell my story; I can't take on the medical
profession by myself. Women, wake up and smell the coffee!
That isn't really "plastic" those surgeons are using. You know where
they're getting those replacement parts, don't you? The next time you
suspect someone has had a face "lifted," look again! Was it lifted from
you? Check out those tummy tucks and buttocks raisings. Look familiar?
Are those your eyelids on that movie star? I think I finally may have
found my thighs...and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a really good price
for them!
This is NOT a hoax! This is happening to women in every town every night.
Warn all your friends.
P.S. I feel much better knowing this is happening, I thought I was just
getting old! I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my
breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone, as I sprang from my bed I
was relieved to see that they were just hiding in my pajama bottoms. Now
I will keep them hidden in my waistband. |
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Sat Jan 29, 2005 8:45 am |
That's funny. It reminds me of my 80 year old mother in law (who I adore) getting her eyes fixed. Her vision was getting bad and she finally admitted she had to have something done about it because she certainly wasn't going to give up driving her sportscar! After the cataract surgery she saw herself clearly in the mirror for the first time in years and cried because she didn't recognize the wrinkly old woman! She recovered quickly and is fully back in denial about her age. She has the soul of an 18 year old!
Liz |
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Sat Jan 29, 2005 8:46 am |
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50, happy reluma user started 16.6.12 original formula. PMD user. started LouLou's ageless regime. |
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Thu Feb 10, 2005 10:23 pm |
Totally hilarious...but familiar. 
JUDY |
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Looking young never grows old! |
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Thu Apr 13, 2006 1:41 am |
| OMG I found this by accident in a search.. but |
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Thu Apr 13, 2006 1:54 am |
 Liked this a lot!! |
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oily/acne prone - acne scars on chin area/Large Pores in winter. Oily in Summer. Fair, nuetral/cool complexion, burn easily. Early 20s |
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Thu Apr 13, 2006 3:50 am |
| Thanks for the laugh! |
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normal to dry skin, slightly sensitive, early 40s |
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Thu Apr 13, 2006 6:20 am |
| funny!!! |
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46 yrs old, I live at the beach and love being out in the sun. |
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Tue Apr 18, 2006 6:55 pm |
| That's halarious. Thanks for the laugh! |
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Wed Apr 19, 2006 8:52 am |
| Lol!!!! |
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| Tue Apr 16, 2024 11:33 am |
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