Birthday gift ideas for my boyfriend's mom?
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free skin care · Wed Aug 29, 2007 3:47 pm

Hi folks,

My boyfriend's mom's birthday is coming up very soon (September 3rd!) and I was hoping I could bounce an idea or two off y'all and see what you think. I don't know her super-well, as she lives on the East Coast and we're in Seattle, so aside from one long weekend spent visiting her, I've never gotten to know her.

What do you guys think about sending a simple and classy flower arrangement? I mean, I don't really know her taste all that well, but I'd like to get her something that's specifically from me. I know she likes me okay, but mostly because she's happy that her son is paired up - I don't think she'd pick me out of a room full of women to try and adopt as a daughter-in-law. Smile

Not that she'd necessarily pick anyone, it's hard to explain - she likes me fine but just isn't that effusive of a personality anyway, so it's not like we have this fabulous amazing bond. I just want to do the right, proper, nice, sweet gesture, ya know? Anyway.

If any of you have other ideas, please feel free to let me know! I'm kind of at a loss. I wish my boyfriend had told me earlier that it was coming up so I'd have time to think about it, but he's terrible about that sort of thing and only recently remembered it himself!

Here are a couple of the bouquets I'm looking at:

This one, this one (but do roses say "romance"?), or this one. Or maybe something with orchids, though those seem a bit too "woo a girl from Hawaii", haha. Any thoughts?

P.S. Edit: Ooh, I think I like this short gerbera one best of all! Classy, cute, simple, short, and in no way "romantic". What do you guys think?

free skin care · Wed Aug 29, 2007 4:07 pm

Do you know her favorite color? Or does he? I think they are all nice.

free skin care · Wed Aug 29, 2007 4:11 pm

Heh, I don't, but I'll ask him and see if he has any input. Good idea, that hadn't occurred to me since I was mostly looking at multicolored ones that only had one option, but something in her fave color would be really nice!

free skin care · Wed Aug 29, 2007 4:58 pm

Don't hate me for this, but I think that flowers might be a little bit overboard. I mean, it's a very sweet gesture and it's obvious that you have a double-helping of the nice gene Ginnie, and that is NOTHING to be ashamed of. However, given the fact that this is just your boyfriend's mom (the rules change a bit IMO after you get married--- once you two are hitched flowers from both of you would be more than fine), and you two are not as of yet particularly close, sending flowers could POSSIBLY be taken by your bf's Mom as a gesture to try to butter her up, OR you trying to prematurely force a close relationship. (Wah, don't hate me for writing that!) It would be one thing if you guys are close, talk on the phone every day, swap clothes and recipes, etc, and it would also be quite another thing if you two were married, since let's face it ladies, once we tie that knot most of the gifting responsibilities are going to fall right into our laps! In the meantime, however, while I appreciate what you are trying to do, I would advise against trying to push for a relationship with "Mom" prematurely, and instead let nature take its course. In the meantime, if you would like to recognize her birthday with a nice card and thoughtful note, I think it would be very well-received and it might be steps in the right direction, which I presume is showing Mom all those good reasons why her son basically won the girlfriend lottery when he landed you. That being said, if you want to ignore my advice completely and send Mom 3 dozen roses, I promise my feelings won't be hurt. Please keep us updated!

free skin care · Wed Aug 29, 2007 4:59 pm

I'd just send her a card. Once you send a present you're going to have to keep it up every year/occasion, and then she's going to have to reciprocate when its your birthday. If she was going to be your future MIL, (if you and b/f were engaged or something) then a gift would be appropriate, but I wouldn't bother.

Huge PITA if you ask me Laughing

. (But its very sweet of you to even think of doing it).

ETA: Wow Liz and I posted simultaneously - although she put it much nicer than I did Laughing

free skin care · Wed Aug 29, 2007 5:03 pm

anya wrote:

I'd just send her a card. Once you send a present you're going to have to keep it up every year/occasion, and then she's going to have to reciprocate when its your birthday. If she was going to be your future MIL, (if you and b/f were engaged or something) then a gift would be appropriate, but I wouldn't bother.

Huge PITA if you ask me Laughing

. (But its very sweet of you to even think of doing it).

Huge PITA is right! I spend the better part of every year trying to brainstorm what "we" (read: I) can get for M-I-L for her bday, Mother's Day, Christmas, etc etc. Oh man, one time I found my MIL this gorgeous purple pashmina-type wrap. I knew she liked purple because she had a custom purple silk dress made for my wedding. Anyways, I handed her the wrapped pashmina, and before she opened it we got distracted talking about jewelry and clothes. She was telling me how she likes wearing rubies because red looks good on her, and how she's realized recently that purple doesn't look good on her, so she's given all of her purple stuff away... Shock

free skin care · Wed Aug 29, 2007 5:05 pm

I would send her flowers from the both of you. After all you are living together now, which is as good as being married. And flowers are a great gift from a son and daughter-inlaw-to-be. Smile

free skin care · Wed Aug 29, 2007 5:19 pm

Heh, you guys are so sweet and helpful, thank you! I don't hate you for your honesty, Liz, I think you're kind of right! I mentioned it to him and he was like, "Flowers, good idea, I should send some of those..." hahaha, so I think it's going to be a joint thing like Diana suggested. Which makes sense, if you ask me - and she's right that we're all but married (engagement jokes and hints are around every corner, but I think after all the spending we're doing after moving and traveling, it'll be a bit before the ring... but it's definitely that level of commitment and thus obligation, hahaha).

I think we're just going to send a card together and I'll have the flowers sent in both of our names. I totally agree that it would seem like I was buttering her up too much if I sent them - I kind of don't know what I was thinking. Laughing

I think I had it in my head that boyfriend would be sending some sort of elaborate gift, so my flowers would be a tiny gesture in comparison - but that's so not the case!

It's funny, with his stepmom I'm totally buddy-buddy, we exchange emails and I sent her a big bag of this tea she likes that you can only get here in Seattle and it was a totally normal and appropriate thing. But with his mom, it's different. Not like she's cold to me, but his stepmom is sort of the flamboyant type, she's an artist and a former art professor and she sort of makes these grand sweeping gestures and cackles at the thousand-decibel level and she's this tiny woman full of spark, whereas his mom is just a lot calmer and quieter and less effusive about everything, so of course me included. Smile

You're totally right that I don't want to be over-the-top with her!

Anywho, the annoying part is that BF liked the gerbera daisies best just like I did, but the stupid website is incredibly crappy and they were unable to place the order over the phone either. Something about Mondays being a busy day so it'd be better to schedule it for another day. I'm like, uh, her birthday is on Monday, so I'd sort of like to keep it that day - anything you can do to help that? And they were like, uh, no, try some other florists maybe. GREAT CUSTOMER SERVICE, GUYS! Anyway, no other website has that cute Gerbera arrangement, haha. Of course. Ah well, I'll figure something out, I always do!

Thanks so much for your input, all of you. Smile

I really appreciate it! I'll let you know her reaction.

Fri Jan 18, 2013 3:14 am

I have 1 week to think of what would be the nice think to give to my boyfriends's mom's birthday. Actually that day would be my 1st meeting to her. I'm getting nervous if she will like me. To give her a bouquet of flower is my 1st option. Will she like it? I told already my boyfriend about it at 1st he said it's ok but afterwards he said it must be something that she will remember me every time she sees it. He has a point. The venue would be at restaurant. the only thing i think is flower and also for the reason that i dont know her especially her likes. So i think flower would be much appreciated. Pls help.

free skin care · Fri Jan 18, 2013 6:49 am

I would do flowers as well - since you have never met her. If you and your partner are together next year, then it would be appropriate to get her something more personal.

Mon Dec 26, 2016 4:14 am

I think bouquet of flowers will be good choice and if you want to give a gift you can add it with bouquet and message. It will be a perfect for her.

free skin care · Thu Sep 06, 2018 3:53 am

So what happened? What did you buy her??

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