Telling a Boy you can't Kiss Him b/c of Cold Sore? HELP!
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free skin care · Thu Oct 19, 2006 5:48 am

I got a cold sore and now it's in its final stage as a healing scab. I know it's contagious if I kiss someone. But what is bothering me the most about it is a boy (they always cause stress). Tonight, my friend is having people over to drink. There's some sexual tension between us and I think we're going to hook up soon. Last time we got drunk together, there was a lot of tension! Tonight would've been the perfect opportunity to kiss him, but I can't or he might catch it. So what do I do? I really like him and I don't want him to think I'm not interested. I also don't want to have to say, "Don't kiss me. I have a cold sore". Not very attractive. What should I do?

free skin care · Thu Oct 19, 2006 6:06 am

Hi Jamie--

You don't have to make out with the boy to let him know you're interested. How about just saying, ' I really like you, but I don't want you catch a cold sore."

It concerns me that you're 19 and getting drunk. I'm not trying to be your mom but believe me, there's plenty of time for that after you turn 21. You might even find out it's not all that much fun... Is the only time you hang out with this boy is when you're drunk?

Well, good luck, I hope you get your guy.

free skin care · Thu Oct 19, 2006 6:15 am

No, no, no, we hang out sober all the time! I'm actually 20 now. Haven't changed my signature.

I'm usually a big advocate for straightforwardness and honesty. But in this case, it's just embarressing. Can anyone relate?

free skin care · Thu Oct 19, 2006 8:57 am

I wouldn't call attention to the cold sore, I'd say that I have a horrible sore throat that you just got today and then just flirt..

free skin care · Thu Oct 19, 2006 9:10 am

First of all I want to say good for you, that you're concerned about him catching it and are even aware that they're contagious. And good for you for restraining yourself at this time. It's not very glamorous or sexy to say "I have a cold sore and I don't want you to catch it" but I'd think that he would appreciate what you're saying. By doing just that that you're letting him know that you're honest, that you respect him and his health, that you can talk about difficult subjects ... there is no down side, really. If he freaks out and exits quickly I'd say he's not worth your time.

free skin care · Thu Oct 19, 2006 11:26 am

babymax24 wrote:

I wouldn't call attention to the cold sore, I'd say that I have a horrible sore throat that you just got today and then just flirt..

I 2nd this!!!

Have you tried the OTC med called Abreva?? I heard it works very well for cold sores!! Clears them up rather quickly.

Whatever you decide about the boy, just relax, be yourself and have fun!!

free skin care · Thu Oct 19, 2006 12:02 pm

cold sores means you have some sort of herpes. i think you can transmit that even if you don't have any visible sores. i would go to the doctors and have a test and not kiss anyone without letting them know about that. sorry that might be too straightforward but i think it's our duty to let others know about such thing if there is a possibility they can catch something. herpes is more prevalent than people think and i know many friends who have herpes but are in denial.

http://www.animated-teeth.com/cold_sores/t1_cold_sores.htm

free skin care · Thu Oct 19, 2006 1:34 pm

There's a few different Herpes strains...
Simplex 1 is usually what causes cold sores. Simplex 2 usually causes gental warts. Another strain is usually responsible for chickenpox and shingles.... If you ONLY get the occasional cold sore, you probably just have Simplex 1.

I read something that like, 90% of the population has been exposed to Simplex 1 in their childhood. Some people show symptoms, some do not.... And how many people do you know had chickenpox when they were young? It's harder to find someone that didn't have it than did! Basically, just about everybody has some sort of Herpes or another...

You could call the doc and get a prescription for Valtrex the second you can tell one is coming. A few doses of that and constant use of Abreva should really help to cut down on the healing time.

If he makes any moves, I would just tell him you haven't been feeling well and don't want to pass anything on.... I had thought that cold sores are only contagious when you have an outbreak, but I'm not a doctor so I can't say for sure. Call yours and ask, I'm sure they could give you an answer very quickly over the phone.

free skin care · Thu Oct 19, 2006 3:05 pm

you can only spread it if it's an active cold sore, and i read that they are still active even a few days after the scab has fallen off.

i was using neosporin cream and carmex. they made it go away pretty quickly.. about 5 days.

it's not noticable on me at all because it was pretty small to begin with and the scab is almost gone.

thanks for the advice!

free skin care · Thu Oct 19, 2006 4:25 pm

Actually... because of "asymptomatic shedding" you can spread the virus even if you have no visible outbreak or sore.

I learned this the hard way... I contracted HSV-1 genitally from a guy who gets cold sores, even though he didn't have one when we hooked up, nor anytime soon before or after.

free skin care · Thu Oct 19, 2006 4:33 pm

Chocolat wrote:

It's not very glamorous or sexy to say "I have a cold sore and I don't want you to catch it" but I'd think that he would appreciate what you're saying. By doing just that that you're letting him know that you're honest, that you respect him and his health, that you can talk about difficult subjects ... there is no down side, really. If he freaks out and exits quickly I'd say he's not worth your time.

Couldnt have said it better myself!

free skin care · Fri Oct 20, 2006 11:48 am

tularyn wrote:

Actually... because of "asymptomatic shedding" you can spread the virus even if you have no visible outbreak or sore.

that is correct tularyn, the virus can spread when no sores or blisters are visible. I am sorry this happened to you Sad

. I was actually having a conversation with my friend the other day and he says the general public is very aware and afraid of contracting HIV/AIDS but don't seem to be aware of other STDs such as herpes which can be spread as easily as sharing a glass or lipstick. i am very afraid of herpes, kinda a hypochrondriac when it comes to that and i won't share anything really.

anyone ever wonder if herpes is pretty rampant in hollywood where actors makeout for scenes all the time? maybe that's why a lot of them choose to have birth through caesarian section, to avoid passing the virus to their babies? (besides getting a tummy tuck Laughing

).

i know supposedly some 80% of people have been exposed to the herpes virus, but most people never experience an outbreak because their immune system is strong enough.

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