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Fri May 20, 2011 12:10 pm  |
I met a widower about 15 years older than me through my investment club. He tried to woo me, it was somewhat sad - first he tried to show me his financial net worth statements, then tried to point out what good health he was in and told me how long his grandparents had lived - claiming that if I ended up marrying him, I wouldn't end up being alone...that many years.
Another friend of mine has a brother who is in his late 50s and he shops for dates online - travelling to the Far East to sleep with much younger women who are economically disadvantaged He tries to convince one to marry him. So far, no takers.
I tried dating older men, but couldn't stomach the physical differences and the fact that it felt like I was doing them a favor. As I said, I cannot accept a power imbalance - I need be financially independent, so that whole dynamic doesn't work me.
But heh, different strokes...lol
bfg |
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BrightSunn
New Member
 
Joined: 18 May 2011
Posts: 3
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Fri May 20, 2011 12:51 pm |
| packratmack wrote: |
| A 14 year age difference does not seem like that big of a gap to me. He's not old enough to be your father. I guess if you were a teenager, this difference in years would be a big deal. As you get older it won't seem like that much of a gap anymore. I guess it's all relative. |
I was going to say the same thing. 14 yrs when you get older isn't much older at all.
I think it all depends on the couple. If you are happy together then there should be no question and you'll know it is right. |
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Fri May 20, 2011 7:17 pm |
Seems to me you're (1) not really attracted to him, otherwise, you wouldn't care what other people think or about their experiences, and you'd already be in a relationship with him.
Or (2) your concern about "losing him"(death?) or something along those lines is valid. You say he's a charming, attractive musician so he's probably use to women throwing themselves at him, which means he's uber confident and probably rarely rejected (normally guys fear rejection and won't pursue further unless they're pretty sure of the outcome). So I would take what he says with a grain of salt, and wouldn't at all be surprised if he has other women of all ages stashed around London. But I don't know which celebrity you're talking about and even if I did, I could still be entirely wrong, so don't be offended because basically, I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. |
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Fri May 20, 2011 7:47 pm |
| sister sweets wrote: |
There are "kid bars" - clubs, etc that cater to the under 30 crowd. At these places there is always a quota of men well over 50 years of age hanging around trying to pick up young girls and they are known as "The Creepers"... |
Some things never change. When I was in college, we called them dirty old men and perverts. They were probably in their forties. They tried to be cool but never could quite pull off the look. You know, jeans with a white belt.  |
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Sat May 21, 2011 12:47 pm |
I think the lack of sex thing with older men is very valid. unless they have low cholesterol and are in good shape, chances are their sex life, and also yours, will be limited. However marriage is just not about sex of course.
Ask yourself what you want out of a relationship. if those qualities exist with this man - then maybe you can have a relationship with him. But I would recommend to leave any sexual romance until after the wedding. maybe I am old fashioned but ask yourself why he is interested in you? if it is only for sex then you have the wrong guy. |
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Sat May 21, 2011 6:58 pm |
My husband is 10 years older than me and, even though the age difference is by no means as big as the one you are talking about, we already run into similar problems as Ava with wings described.
40 years older.. I don't know if I could do it. |
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Sat May 21, 2011 7:13 pm |
| Penta wrote: |
| I don't know if I could do it. |
Agree. The gap is too wide. No offense to anyone. |
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Mon May 23, 2011 9:58 am |
| LuvToSmile wrote: |
I think the lack of sex thing with older men is very valid. unless they have low cholesterol and are in good shape, chances are their sex life, and also yours, will be limited.
But I would recommend to leave any sexual romance until after the wedding. |
If a man is taking blood pressure medication and/or statins, it is almost certain he is impotent. I know this from experience.
Why would you wait to have sex until after the wedding? The only advantage would be if he were impotent, you could get an annulment for non-consummation instead of a divorce.
Of course, plenty of older women don't like sex so a rich, impotent man would be like winning the lottery.  |
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Mon May 23, 2011 12:40 pm |
* spam * problems are often an outside sign of heart disease, so that's also something to think about.
Sometimes "love" is worth all you have to personally sacrifice for it, but my advice would be to go into it with your eyes open.
45 year old widows seem to be as common as 45 year old divorcees.
BFG |
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Wed May 25, 2011 10:55 pm |
I've dated a much older man, but typically date much younger men.
Even men my age (not all, but in general) seem very tired, and I'm not looking to be somebody's housekeeper.
I'm make a good living, so I can pick and choose strictly on compatibility. Thank God. |
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Sun Jun 05, 2011 12:03 pm |
| In the scheme of things, I wouldn't only because what would the two of you have in common? |
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Thu Jun 09, 2011 4:15 pm |
No, I've done the older man thing; older guys aren't any nicer or more mature than the younger ones. Ugh.  |
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Thu Jun 16, 2011 11:50 pm |
| I married a man 24 years older than myself, and it is going very well, we have been together for seven years now, are expecting a baby, and we are very happy. I did not plan it this way, we just fell in love. Sometimes you fall in love so hard you just cannot choose differently... |
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Tue Jun 21, 2011 6:25 pm |
I have a friend who married one of her grad school professors. Maybe 20 years age difference? They had twin girls, and shortly thereafter he became very ill with cancer of the larynx. One of the girls told me that she couldn't even remember having heard his voice, and then he died when they were still young.
What do you know, but a few years later I saw her with a man that I assumed was her uncle -- turned out he was her boyfriend. Also a university professor (as was she) -- she said she tried to date younger men but when she read their papers, she did not find them to be adequate as scholars.
When I was in my mid-20s, men in their 40s and 50s were constantly trying to get my attention. I knew it was just the ego thing, and not about me personally. Not interested. But then, my husband is 10 years younger than I, Thanks to EDS, I don't think I look any older than he does!
Yes, love is important, but it is possible to find it with a variety of different people. For me, the age difference would be a huge issue. On the other hand, I once worked with a 20-something woman who described her ideal mate as a rich elderly man with a coronary condition. Guess it depends on what you want to get out of the relationship! |
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Tue Jun 21, 2011 7:51 pm |
| Hermosa wrote: |
I saw her with a man that I assumed was her uncle -- turned out he was her boyfriend. Also a university professor (as was she) -- she said she tried to date younger men but when she read their papers, she did not find them to be adequate as scholars.
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We all know how important scholarship is in marriage. 
Sounds like she is looking for the daddy she lost. Happens to a lot of women with divorced parents. |
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Sat Jun 25, 2011 5:18 pm |
| Faustine hasn't checked back. My newest guess is Jimmy Page although I think he might only collect medieval art and I thought Faustine said she did contemporary art. |
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Fri Sep 16, 2011 8:09 pm |
| deja vu?? i'm rooting for you to find genuine love and happiness someday. possibly, in your age group. if this post makes no sense, then ignore it, please. haha..... awkward. uh, carry on. |
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