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Mon Jul 15, 2013 2:08 pm  |
I have been thinking of starting a thread at EDS about differing opinions/negative reviews. It seems to me that the last few months when you ask questions about a product or anything that can be misconstrued as a negative comment, suddenly your the bad guy. Some members or vendors think that if you don't like a product you are somehow attacking them. They internalize you not liking a product to not liking them or their way of thinking.
Now there are good ways and bad ways of expressing your opinions. Obviously the more negative and personal you get, you should expect to get a like kind of response back. This doesn't foster any air of cooperation or goodwill.
Last year I did a comparison between ReAura and Tria. There was a lot of back and forth about the advantages and disadvantages of each laser. I am not sure if today I could do that same review without someone claiming I was slamming one or the other.
I think one of the great things about this site is the sharing of information and ideas. Lately
I feel that if you aren't raving about a product, then don't bother with a review. EDS becomes pretty worthless at that point to me. I can go to a lot of different sites if I just want to see great reviews. Where the website deletes any negative feedback. What are your thoughts? Am I imagining this? |
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Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it |
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Mon Jul 15, 2013 2:30 pm |
I would have to agree to an extent...things seem to have become more about the people (their personalities, feelings, etc.) as opposed to the products.
I would like people to be able to present their views without others getting defensive. We can always agree to disagree, right?  |
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No longer answering PM's due to numerous weird messages. |
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Mon Jul 15, 2013 2:34 pm |
I'm happiest to get a balanced, dispassionate review. Then I can make up my own mind about the product, having heardvseveral voices each giving a perspective, which gives a rounded picture. I dont mind if a review is positive or negative, so much as informative.
I think it helps enormously to know who is giving the review: their age and skin type, their responsiveness or difficulties.
Honesty and a useful amount of info is all that is needed to make for a good review.
I dont think a questioning mind is unwelcome here at EDS, not at all.
If there is a sense of closing of ranks at all, then there must be, somewhere along the line, a sense of there being an attack. A negative review, if it is honest and open, is not an attack.
An attack will result in defensiveness, this is human nature.  |
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Mon Jul 15, 2013 4:54 pm |
| CookieD wrote: |
I have been thinking of starting a thread at EDS about differing opinions/negative reviews. It seems to me that the last few months when you ask questions about a product or anything that can be misconstrued as a negative comment, suddenly your the bad guy. Some members or vendors think that if you don't like a product you are somehow attacking them. They internalize you not liking a product to not liking them or their way of thinking.
Now there are good ways and bad ways of expressing your opinions. Obviously the more negative and personal you get, you should expect to get a like kind of response back. This doesn't foster any air of cooperation or goodwill.
Last year I did a comparison between ReAura and Tria. There was a lot of back and forth about the advantages and disadvantages of each laser. I am not sure if today I could do that same review without someone claiming I was slamming one or the other.
I think one of the great things about this site is the sharing of information and ideas. Lately
I feel that if you aren't raving about a product, then don't bother with a review. EDS becomes pretty worthless at that point to me. I can go to a lot of different sites if I just want to see great reviews. Where the website deletes any negative feedback. What are your thoughts? Am I imagining this? |
Like bethany, I agree, to an extent, but I definitely dispute that this is a new phenomenon...here on EDS or on any other forum. I came out of lurking here because of my mid-life crisis in which I decided to spend my 401K on my face  , but really, this pattern has been around for a long time and is one of the reasons I never posted much until recently.
I like to see unbiased, fact-based reviews, too. But I also like to see some allowances for other people's experience, and do not like seeing anyone denigrated or their intelligence obliquely insulted because they don't buy into another's point of view. I've noticed *that* a lot in some of the threads lately.
In both negative and positive posts there can also be a bullying or hectoring tone, and a "mob" mentality where a few posters will just jump in and basically attack the opposing viewpoint. Like catski said, an attack will result in defensiveness. Perception of an attack can also bring others into the situation who might not otherwise have joined, "swinging" for whatever side they believe is right. The melee ensues.
That said, IMHO it's just forums. It will pass. I've never been on a forum where this *didn't* happen, and sometimes it happens over much stupider stuff than gets argued here. Since written words are not accompanied by body language and other non-verbal cues, I think it's just the nature of the beast. Emoticons can only go so far in conveying the nonverbals. |
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Mon Jul 15, 2013 8:08 pm |
| I agree with Bethany. A review is just someone's opinion, it isn't right or wrong. |
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Tue Jul 16, 2013 12:36 am |
I think Yubs nailed it. A bullying or hectoring tone, or doubting the veracity of someone's input because it doesnt tally with your own experience, questioning the intelligence of those that dont agree with you...this is the type of stuff that drags discussion downward and results in non productive to-ing and fro-ing which is essentially nothing more than bickering.
Again, this is NOT to do with negative reviews or open questions, it's more insidious than that, and definitely not to do with sharing information, good or bad, but is just interpersonal failiure of goodwill. I am quite sure it is an internet phenomenon. It wouldnt happen if we were all sitting together talking in person. |
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Tue Jul 16, 2013 7:01 am |
| catski wrote: |
Again, this is NOT to do with negative reviews or open questions, it's more insidious than that, and definitely not to do with sharing information, good or bad, but is just interpersonal failiure of goodwill. I am quite sure it is an internet phenomenon. It wouldnt happen if we were all sitting together talking in person. |
Quite honestly the more I think about it, I think it has more to do with cliques. |
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Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it |
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Tue Jul 16, 2013 5:30 pm |
It's my opinion that we should be 100% completely honest with ourselves and admit that there are few, if any, industries more dishonest and rife with unadulterated BS than the skincare and beauty industry. It's for this very reason that the US Govt has a stack of regulations nearly a mile high governing what kind of claims can be made, how they can be made and what defines a cosmetic, etc.
I was just at a skincare/beauty conference where sellers were making claims right and left that we all here would recognize as patently false....but you know what? there was nobody there to stop them and the consumers and buyers are none the wiser.
I work in the widget industry and I attend widget conferences. I can only imagine what would happen if some of the widget makers made claims that were not supportable or their products didn't work - they would be kicked off the conference floor or the orders would stop and they would soon be out of business.....but that just doesn't happen in skincare because much of it is smoke and mirrors and nobody wants to stand up and dispute them on it....anyone who thinks otherwise is not well informed.
Sellers and promoters post here frequently and are often quite helpful - until the tough questions start. Suddenly, they disappear. You can guess why.
I guess some questions could be interpreted as being "mean"....but business should be business, it's not personal.. I think the moderators do a good job here myself.
What did our grandparent's say? if you can't take the heat, leave the kitchen.
That said, I find most posters here to be a friendly and amiable bunch and quite helpful.
Now, if you want to start talking restaurant reviews....... 
BFG |
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Tue Jul 16, 2013 10:25 pm |
| CookieD wrote: |
| catski wrote: |
Again, this is NOT to do with negative reviews or open questions, it's more insidious than that, and definitely not to do with sharing information, good or bad, but is just interpersonal failiure of goodwill. I am quite sure it is an internet phenomenon. It wouldnt happen if we were all sitting together talking in person. |
Quite honestly the more I think about it, I think it has more to do with cliques. |
I think cliques inevitably lead to problems. We have to function as a community where its all for one and one for all. |
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