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heyheymonster
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Sat Apr 19, 2014 10:07 am      Reply with quote
I remember a time where I thought I was anything but beautiful. I remember at a younger age standing in front of the mirror causing myself anxiety over my crooked tooth smile, my thinner lighter hair,my skin ,my acne and some freckles here and there.

I would take my nails and scratch them down my face and tear at the imperfections until it bled.

I spent more than enough time and money to try and "fix" myself. And you know I learned some things...

I learned that I love to learn! It took a lot of time, I became good at skincare and beauty and I just wanted to keep on learning about it...I still love it. I can personally connect with it and others who are seeking to be more beautiful. I also learned that health is beauty and I leaned to use nature and natural approaches and products as my main resource because the body knows how to use those resources to there potential.

Its what I want to do for a living, because its what I love to do.

But

I'm told things,
For instance,
Im told I wont be hired in the profession I want to unless I look "better" than I do.

I interned at a salon for my school and was told by the owner of the salon to go home, and not to come back again- unless I had my make up done and my hair styled. When I asked why, he said that I'm selling a business and that I need to look good.

I see his point,

But I saw that he didn't see me as beautiful or beautiful enough.

I am beautiful enough, and I know that with the skin im in...my own skin and flesh, that's flaw-full and imperfect it may be hard to gain the psychological trust of other women seeking that goal. Seeking that youthful clear face, that body with an eye catching figure. Some few are lucky enough to be born that way,others spend too much time, too much money, and too much effort.
And for what?
To be presented as desirable...sexual, ..."beautiful"..?

If you're wondering, I do not wear make up, my hair falls flat and straight and I leave it that way, I still have some acne and some spots along with a scar or two...and my clothes are plain, I use them to just to stay warm or cover myself.

I don't manipulate the way I look because I do not want to set an example for women that external perfection is beauty.

I want to help them with the HEALTH of there skin, I want them to feel good as I clear there skin or reduce the signs of aging...because it feels and looks healthier. I wish people did it because they wanted to, and not to fit in or have others see them and think more positively, or like them more.

I have beauty,beauty to me is understanding, being human, being flawed, beauty is wisdom, beauty is health, kindness, love, nature...beauty is character.
I attract others with my character and I don't try and be sexually attractive like other young women, because my goal in attraction is not to please another person,

its for me, and the reason of sex in my eyes- is me wanting to explore and get to know every inch of that other human being, that I love. And to be connected with them...and share myself and express my emotion for them in the most personal way.

I'm a young girl, and I have pity when I see so many of my peers, trying to make them desirable in that way, a sexual way...they want to be wanted.

And I know everyone needs to be wanted,
All i'm saying is you can be in a better way
Through your real beauty,
Through character and wisdom and for caring for others.

Does anyone get what I'm saying?

I just wish people would understand what I mean.

And I also know that we try and perfect our external selves and or make our selves more attractive because its evolutionary...
More attractive people are perceived as better, they gain more trust, people like them more, and they tend to have easier lives that way.

So yeah I'm not expecting women to stop. But I want them to be striving towards the beauty that I perceive as health, if that makes sense...I want women to be able to look good, because they feel good from the inside out. And I want to help them, I want it as a job. As an esthican, I want to help others with there health...health of there external organ and the skin,being a defense system in our enviorment!

And what I -want- is for beauty to be looked as it for what it is. We are all beautiful...in one way or another.

So my message overall...
don't have a goal, that is only a goal for making yourself superficially desirable for others.

I don't make myself look much different than I naturally am anymore because I want people to see me for who i am, and what I stand for.

And guess ehat,
I found a man, who I love very much, and loves me very much. He loves me for the way I think, and the way I tend to look at things. And I think were happier than most.

And through writing this message, maybe we can detach from that evolutionary human stand point of why we make ourselves more attractive more or less for sex...and maybe we can raise the next generation or young women to be confident in themselves and have real beauty...
Kassy_A
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Sat Apr 19, 2014 5:07 pm      Reply with quote


Wow! Best advice I've read at EDS in a year. Sending you a BIG cyber hug & Blessings. xox

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♥I'm flattered by all the lovely PM's, but I don't get here much these days. Please don't be afraid to post your quearies to other DIY members who will be glad to help you (or sell you their wares..lol) Still happy with LED, dermarolling and a DIY antioxidant regime. Peace & Hugs to all.♥
heyheymonster
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Sun Apr 20, 2014 6:25 am      Reply with quote
Thanks Very Happy
talyta
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Sun Apr 20, 2014 8:43 pm      Reply with quote
I loved it You spoke from yout heart and the is wonderful
I certainly agree with the most but there are couple that in my mind are different
Being natural is one thing and young fresh gals looking so good without make up I don't think I am wrong when I try to improve my self and look good for others And other I mean qwomen and men A good looking and groomed person is much more respected and valued And yes maybe is wrong but that is not even related to our culture Is the way the brain is working and. Always did and no one can change it
I also feel good when. I put some makeup an
d do my hair Is a ritual and it means Hey gal you are going out. Smile
To be honest myself prefer to work with groomed people and yes I love to admire beautiful
men/women not that I don't value other things that yes are much more important in a
relationship I really value beautiful and if it's enhanced and not exaggerated is good
Your definition of beautiful is don't touch the natural just take care of it and make it
healthier Agree still if I have zip that is very stubborn I am going to ask it with foundation No need to be so proud of it. I think that if I
want to show people that I can make a difference in their life I have to be an example to walk my talk
One of the yoga instructors to the club I go is around 28 and she is 200 pounds
Am I happy with her being my instructor ? Hmmm I am not sure She is a great person and a pretty good teacher for the beginners but I want motivation when I go there and inspiration The same I would ask from my esthetician A good skin and groomed person with well done hair I am going there to get results
Bottom line yes I believe in natural beauty and no need to be obsseesed with. You should present yourself out in the best way and that really. Shows respect to others as well
cm5597
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Tue Apr 22, 2014 3:40 pm      Reply with quote
This was a beautiful post! It melted my heart. Thank you, Heyheymonster. I agree with so many things that you said.

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fawnie
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Tue Apr 22, 2014 6:15 pm      Reply with quote
I agree with Talyta. And I also applaud you HeyHeyMonster for being honest and true to what you believe. No one says we all have to force ourselves into some cookie cutter mold of perfection.

If you're in the healthcare or beauty industry, looking well-groomed, healthy and clean is the expectation. Call me old fashioned, but I do not want to see dangly earrings, facial piercings, crumbling mascara, and smell noxious smells up close and personal on my doctor, nurse, hygienist, dentist, hair stylist or facialist. Certain professions have clear expectations of their members. You do not have to be a glamour queen but be neat, clean and well-groomed. Its common courtesy folks.

And its not all about sex, but hey, men are visual animals and thats the way it is. He may *say* he loves me "just the way I am" but its a sign of love to clean up and fix up for him!

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SoftSkin
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Wed Apr 23, 2014 3:57 pm      Reply with quote
fawnie wrote:

If you're in the healthcare or beauty industry, looking well-groomed, healthy and clean is the expectation. Certain professions have clear expectations of their members. You do not have to be a glamour queen but be neat, clean and well-groomed. Its common courtesy folks.

And its not all about sex, but hey, men are visual animals and thats the way it is. He may *say* he loves me "just the way I am" but its a sign of love to clean up and fix up for him!

Totally agree with everything you've said. There is a difference between beauty and being well groomed. A beautiful woman could be a slob and a plain woman could be well groomed. The plain woman would get the job.
heyheymonster
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Thu Apr 24, 2014 9:30 am      Reply with quote
Thanks all of you for your replies Smile

Haha, I should note, I am well groomed, I do think that's important..and more comfortable for sure. But yeah there's definitely a difference to me between being clean and being that...glamour standard (I'm not sure what else to call it)that girls and women are trying to achieve.
TheresaMary
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Fri Apr 25, 2014 4:48 am      Reply with quote
I'll second that!!!!
Kassy_A wrote:


Wow! Best advice I've read at EDS in a year. Sending you a BIG cyber hug & Blessings. xox
heyheymonster
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Sun Apr 27, 2014 12:13 pm      Reply with quote
: )
diamond44
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Thu Jun 26, 2014 8:28 am      Reply with quote
Wonderful post. I really enjoyed reading it.
lillyc
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Sun Sep 21, 2014 3:48 pm      Reply with quote
It is an truly uplifting post. Sometimes, I want to look better merely because of work. If I had a choice, I would have worn no makeup ar all!
heyheymonster
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Thu Sep 25, 2014 3:56 pm      Reply with quote
Thanks guys Smile
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