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Sat Sep 16, 2006 3:11 pm  |
| Remember Bob Geldof? He organized Live Aid. His daughters have some pretty unusual names. Their names are Fifi Trixabelle, Peaches Honeyblossom and Little Pixie. |
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34, oily acne-prone skin, Toronto, Canada |
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Mon Sep 18, 2006 6:47 am |
| nomoreneckpain wrote: |
| Hay, I work pediatrics and sometimes I float to the NICU or the nursery- I've heard some "doozies". How about Navy or Vagina for a girl. I kid you not!! |
I work for the TX Attorney General Child Support in the Information Technologies section, but before that I actually worked in one of the field offices were we handled the cases and dealt with the families one-on-one. Sometimes when they were shorthanded, I’d go to court with them to help out on “docket days” where we’d have to hear up to 70 cases per day. It was like a friggin assembly line! Sometimes I used to feel so bad for the CPs and NCPs (that’s child support jargon for “custodial parent” and “non-custodial parent” or “mom” and “dad” ) because we could only spend a limited amount of time on each case in order to get it all done, so it was like we were explaining the next 18-years of these people’s lives to the mothers and fathers in less than five minutes (i.e.: when to pay, where to pay, how we’re going to garnish your wages, how we’ll intercept your IRS refunds if you stop paying your child support and fall into arrears and suspend any driver’s license of professional licenses you might hold – i.e.: medical licenses, law licenses, barber licenses, hunting/fishing licenses, etc. – if you deliberately stop paying, how we report you to the credit bureau automatically, etc.. Basically, telling them all their responsibilities and dire consequences until the child turns 18.
Anyway, sometimes, we’d have “plead or bleed” dockets. That meant that either the alleged father stepped up to the judge and admitted he was dad, or else he rolled up his sleeve for a paternity test right there in the courthouse. I helped the phlebotomist fill out the paperwork, fingerprinted and verified the proof-of-identification of the parties to ensure some jerk didn’t send a ringer in to take his place under the needle or some vindictive mom didn’t try to “double-dip” the dad on child support by having the same child’s blood drawn twice.
So, one day this mom came in with her twin boys to have their blood drawn and I started filling out the forms. I asked her the names of her boys, she responds (phonetic spelling), “Or-an-ja-lo” and “La-mon-ja-lo.” When I asked her to spell them for me, this was the result: “Orangejello” and “Lemonjello.” I can only assume that she was a big Bill Cosby fan....
That’s one of the things that I miss most about working in the IT section...not getting to experience all those strange incidents myself anymore (such as the NCP who told the judge that the reason he couldn’t pay child support was because he raised pedigreed cats, and they had to have special expensive food and cat litter, so he didn’t have any money left to support his human kids), but my old friends always remember to pass along the juiciest stories to me, and I still have a pile of my own to share if you want a giggle every once in a while....
Of course, if you want further examples of parental creativity when it comes to naming their offspring, you can look no further than some of the gems among the caseload from my old field office:
• A beautiful little baby girl called “Sobriety Justice” (which made me assume that mom regretted becoming pregnant after a wild and drunken night, and wanted a permanent reminder about staying sober...);
• Another little girl named “Porcelain Latrine” (I couldn’t make these up if I tried!);
• Yet another gorgeous little blonde girl called “Aryan.” Her last name was “Nation.” Adolf (Hitler) would have been so proud. Now, maybe, “Aryan” was simply a combination of mom’s name “Alison” and dad’s name “Ryan,” but for some reason I didn’t think so;
• Siblings named “Tamara,” “Tonite,” “Yesterdae,” and “Todae;”
• An NCP named “Plezh-ur Wooley,” which is the phonetic spelling for “pleasure.” This was a skinny little black man, barely 5-foot tall, with a gold front tooth who wore a wide-brimmed hat, a leopard print polyester leisure suit and high-heeled cowboy boots. Mr. Wooley looked like a pimp. And he had a penchant for great, big white women. I mean, like, 250 pound white women!! I think he had seven different child support cases with us, for a total of 11 kids, each by a different mama. Sometimes you can’t help but get a mental image of some of these people in bed together, but when you’d see Plezh-ur standing next to some of the mothers of his children, you wondered how the poor man didn’t get crushed...I can only surmise that he conducted his business in the good ole missionary position.
But I'm sure I don't have to tell you how creative Mom and Dad can be. I swear, some parents ought to have their children taken away on the grounds of "cruel and inhuman" treatment for some of the names they saddle the poor kid with....
And did I tell you guys about the time I phoned Victoria’s Secret to place a catalog order and the customer service rep who took my call answered the phone thusly, “Thank you for calling Victoria’s Secret. My name is Clitora, how may I help you?” I just about swallowed my tongue! Can you imagine going through life with a name like that? I don’t understand what some parents are thinking when they name their kids. Did they not say the name out loud to test out how it sounded? How it r-o-l-l-e-d off the tongue, so to speak? Can you imagine the grief you’d catch in school, the names they’d call you on the playground? I shudder to think. |
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Über-oily,semi-sensitive, warm/fair-skinned redhead, 38...Will swap/shop for members outside U.S. and/or make homemade skincare products upon demand-PM me for details. |
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Mon Sep 18, 2006 8:52 am |
| Carekate, your post was the highlight of my day again - thanks ! |
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Mon Sep 18, 2006 9:28 am |
Well, I don't know if anything on this site can top CareKate's list of frighteningly "creative" children's names (Porcelain Latrine...  )...but it's still a fun read!
http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/
Mary  |
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43, Confirmed desert rat (Scottsdale, AZ), animal lover (3 kitties and a pup) and hopeless product junkie (I blame EDS...lol!) |
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Mon Sep 18, 2006 4:12 pm |
I wonder what's taking so long for them to get married. |
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40, fair skinned, dark hair, blue eyes |
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Mon Sep 18, 2006 7:08 pm |
OMG Carekate, I haven't laughed that hard in A LONG TIME!!
Damit, if I didn't know any better I swear you made that story up!!! You should write a damn book!!!!!!! |
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Tue Sep 19, 2006 12:02 am |
| carekate, I've heard of the jello kids' names before-being from Tx. I guess it's been circulating, but those other names are unbelievable except that I've seen and heard of ones just as outrageous. sometimes the mother is just so young and is trying to have her baby's name be unique, but they don't have the life experience to think about how it'll effect the kid in school. Hope they do well! |
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Tue Sep 19, 2006 12:02 am |
| carekate, I've heard of the jello kids' names before-being from Tx. I guess it's been circulating, but those other names are unbelievable except that I've seen and heard of ones just as outrageous. sometimes the mother is just so young and is trying to have her baby's name be unique, but they don't have the life experience to think about how it'll effect the kid in school. Hope they do well! |
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Tue Sep 19, 2006 4:28 am |
| Lifeplyr01 wrote: |
OMG Carekate, I haven't laughed that hard in A LONG TIME!!
Damit, if I didn't know any better I swear you made that story up!!! You should write a damn book!!!!!!! |
If you liked that one, I’ve got another child support “war story” for you! Actually, I guess it’s more of a riddle or a brain teaser – let’s see how many of you can guess the correct answer....
Scenario:
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Couple A and Couple B go parking up at the local Lover’s Lane. Couple A gets busy in the front seat of the car and Couple B gets busy in the backseat of the car. Nine months later, Girl B gives birth to Guy A’s child.
Question:
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How was she able to conceive Guy A’s baby when Guy A and Girl B never actually had intercourse?
*** Scroll down and highlight text in order to read the answer ***
Answer:
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Both couples only had a single condom between them that night; after Couple A concluded their business in the front seat, Guy A passed the condom to Guy B in the backseat who promptly turned it inside-out and proceeded to copulate with Girl B.
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Now tell me that is not the most disgusting thing you have ever heard in your life! I also ought to let you know that whenever this riddle is postulated to mixed company, men invariably guess the right answer straight-away so you single ladies might want to keep that in mind should you ever find yourselves in a similar situation....  |
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Über-oily,semi-sensitive, warm/fair-skinned redhead, 38...Will swap/shop for members outside U.S. and/or make homemade skincare products upon demand-PM me for details. |
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Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:04 am |
| carekate wrote: |
| Lifeplyr01 wrote: |
OMG Carekate, I haven't laughed that hard in A LONG TIME!!
Damit, if I didn't know any better I swear you made that story up!!! You should write a damn book!!!!!!! |
If you liked that one, I’ve got another child support “war story” for you! Actually, I guess it’s more of a riddle or a brain teaser – let’s see how many of you can guess the correct answer....
Scenario:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Couple A and Couple B go parking up at the local Lover’s Lane. Couple A gets busy in the front seat of the car and Couple B gets busy in the backseat of the car. Nine months later, Girl B gives birth to Guy A’s child.
Question:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How was she able to conceive Guy A’s baby when Guy A and Girl B never actually had intercourse?
*** Scroll down and highlight text in order to read the answer ***
Answer:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Both couples only had a single condom between them that night; after Couple A concluded their business in the front seat, Guy A passed the condom to Guy B in the backseat who promptly turned it inside-out and proceeded to copulate with Girl B.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now tell me that is not the most disgusting thing you have ever heard in your life! I also ought to let you know that whenever this riddle is postulated to mixed company, men invariably guess the right answer straight-away so you single ladies might want to keep that in mind should you ever find yourselves in a similar situation.... |
Oh my GOD...that is so gross!!! Carekate, you weren't kidding when you said you had war stories!!
Mary  |
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43, Confirmed desert rat (Scottsdale, AZ), animal lover (3 kitties and a pup) and hopeless product junkie (I blame EDS...lol!) |
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Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:39 am |
| This is kinda off topic, but I was wondering if Demi Moore has had any work done? She looks amazing at 40 something! Is it just good genes or what? |
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PROUD FTM @ 40 TO CARTER-BORN APRIL 12, 2006...Sensitive dry skintype...prone to excema |
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Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:48 am |
| well, actually she had quite a complete work done ! |
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Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:51 am |
| moosette wrote: |
| This is kinda off topic, but I was wondering if Demi Moore has had any work done? She looks amazing at 40 something! Is it just good genes or what? |
she had pretty much *everything* done! some obscene amount of $$$ spent.... |
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Tue Sep 19, 2006 11:58 am |
Yes, that really pissed me off. When Charlies Angels came out and it was all over the place how she looked so good for her age and come to find out she had $300,000 worth of work done from lipo to her thighs, knees and butt, having implants replaced with smaller ones, tummy tuck, and stuff done to her face, teeth, I don't even know all of it but it was pretty much head to toe.
So SO WHAT if she looks great, praise the plastic surgeon, not her! |
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Tue Sep 19, 2006 12:42 pm |
| I'm not into plastic surgery, but I do have to say, Demi Moore's looks very natural. I don't think she needed all that done, but at leaast she doesn't look alien. Whoever her plastic surgeon is -is very good. |
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40, fair skinned, dark hair, blue eyes |
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Tue Sep 19, 2006 6:54 pm |
| EEEWWWWWWWWWW NASTY Carekate! |
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Wed Sep 20, 2006 2:46 pm |
hahaha..That's so funny Yen, I do remember the group Hanson. Is this even gossip? |
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26, combination skin with oily t-zone |
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Wed Sep 20, 2006 6:25 pm |
| ariesxtreme wrote: |
| hahaha..That's so funny Yen, I do remember the group Hanson. Is this even gossip? |
It was a slow day. I couldn't find any "real" gossip. |
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34, oily acne-prone skin, Toronto, Canada |
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Thu Sep 21, 2006 4:19 am |
Is this the end for Brand Beckham?
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First David Beckham got the axe from the England team, now he could get the chop from Gillette as the worldwide face of the shaving brand.
The Real Madrid star's multi-million pound contract is up for renewal next year and according to advertising bible Marketing magazine he will be replaced by 'fresher-faced global stars'.
The news will come as a massive blow to Brand Beckham, as the former England captain went on a massive PR offensive this week in a bid to promote his new book.
Beckham's role with Gillette is likely to be reduced to promoting the shaving product in 'local markets', such as Spain and Britain.
Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/showbiznews.html?in_article_id=406278&in_page_id=1773
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ETA:
In other Beckham news:
According to the UK's Daily Mail, Posh has become a "fashion liability" who instantly kills the hottest looks and trends the moment she is photographed wearing them! That's a pretty scathing indictment, and it's interesting that it comes on the heels of her new fashion-related TV show that Simon Cowell is creating in the U.S. to capitalize on her knowledge and experience as a fashion guru....
All I have to say on the matter is -- judging by the pix of her in NYC last week for Fashion Week -- the lady SERIOUSLY needs to lay off the fake bake and/or tanning bed because her skin is starting to look really leathery, especially her decollectage that she was so determined to flaunt in those plunging necklines! And, am I the only one that thinks her nose resembles nothing more than a pig's snout when viewed from certain angles (i.e.: head-on)? Pay attention to it sometime and see if you don't agree with me!
Check out this pic of them at the Venice Film Fest a couple weeks ago when they were there to launch their new perfume: http://socialitelife.com/images/2006/09/becks090806_08.php
Now, normally, he does absolutely nothing for me (in his new milk ad, I believe he SERIOUSLY needs to put his shirt back on because he's chest looks all creepy and malformed and his nipples are in a strange position), but -- if it hadn't been for the mismatched camel belt and shoes -- I would almost have to say he looks quite smashing in that suit. I can only imagine, given their penchant for dressing alike, that the camel belt and shoes was his attempt to match her burnt-sienna-colored, leathery skin.... |
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Über-oily,semi-sensitive, warm/fair-skinned redhead, 38...Will swap/shop for members outside U.S. and/or make homemade skincare products upon demand-PM me for details. |
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Thu Sep 21, 2006 5:01 am |
Could Papa Joe Simpson BE any creepier?!
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The saga of the Simpson family just gets more absurd; he has now taken on the job of paparazzi. Celebrities know that by getting cozy with certain photographers is a good way to avoid embarrassing public relations nightmares, bad photographs, and even being hounded by the paparazzi. If they give them a few moments each day then they will leave them alone, free to go about being a "normal" person the rest of the afternoon. Joe Simpson has decided that he too should be allowed to photograph his daughters and make some money off the deal.
As if being their controlling manager and father isn't enough, Joe has a tight working arrangement with WireImage. WireImage is the super-agency and wire service that rules the red-carpet at nearly every high-profile event in the western hemisphere. Joe has even ticked off some of the paparazzi by blocking shots of his daughters and snapping photographs that some of them were hired exclusively to attend. The head of the Simpson household has even delivered racy shots of his daughters to the agency including private moments and family vacations. This guy is very strange on one had he has the right to take photographs and control what the public get to see which can be a good thing to avoid bad press. On the other hand who wants to have their dad take racy photos of them?
Source: http://socialitelife.com/2006/09/20/oh_snap_joe_simpson_gets_a_parttime_job.php |
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Über-oily,semi-sensitive, warm/fair-skinned redhead, 38...Will swap/shop for members outside U.S. and/or make homemade skincare products upon demand-PM me for details. |
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Thu Sep 21, 2006 6:45 am |
anyone agree that tom looks as though he's gained some weight lately? Not muscle either, just fat. Doesn't look good coupled with the long hair. |
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Thu Sep 21, 2006 6:51 am |
| carekate wrote: |
| Could Papa Joe Simpson BE any creepier?! |
I submit he could not. He is pretty much the be all and end all in terms of creepy, ugh! |
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27, sensitive/reactive/acne prone skin, dark brown hair, blue eyes, possibly the palest woman alive... |
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