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Wed Feb 08, 2006 7:10 pm  |
As you know, I broke up with my boyfriend because he gave me mixed signals and was showing interest in another girl.
However, I called him today because his dad had died and I told him I wanted to go to his dad's funeral. However, he already planned to take the girl.
I want to go, nonetheless, because I knew his dad and all. Does this seem desperate of me? Will this set me back? Or will this be closure that I am okay if he chooses to date this new girl?
Please help. I f*ckin hate this!!!! i just want to die die die now. |
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22,even complexion, oily but few breakouts (most break out occurs after breakups, bad grades, and red cycle time);/ |
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Wed Feb 08, 2006 7:59 pm |
I think it would depend how well you knew his dad...are you still friendly with other members of your ex's family ~ his sisters maybe????
You could always, just sit in the back and try to blend in with the crowd... |
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46 yrs old, I live at the beach and love being out in the sun. |
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Wed Feb 08, 2006 8:03 pm |
How long did you know his father? You said you dated your ex for bout 3 months right?
I would say that unless you knew his father very well and for a lot longer than 3 months, a beautifully written card to his mother (presuming you knew her too) would probably be more appropriate.
However, if you knew his dad for a lot longer than you dated the guy, then go to the funeral, offer condolences to his mother (and any other siblings he has) and if you see him standing alone at one point offer them to him too. Then leave, dont go to the wake, just attend the ceremony. |
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Wed Feb 08, 2006 8:10 pm |
My advice is not to go to the funeral at all. You only dated the guy a short while, so your absence won't be noted. And you say he's "taking the other girl" - what's that all about - you don't "take" people to a parent's funeral. Put a period on this, and move on.
Anya |
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Wed Feb 08, 2006 8:32 pm |
| I agree with what has been said already. I would not go unless you were especially close to his father. |
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Wed Feb 08, 2006 10:06 pm |
| I definitely wouldn't go. If you were close with his family I think it would be a nice gesture to send flowers. |
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Thu Feb 09, 2006 5:30 am |
I wouldn't attend any services, the wake or the funeral, unless you had a long, established relationship with his family before dating him.
I also agree that one does not "take" someone to a funeral. That's really strange... and I think it was a signal that he doesn't want you to attend. Once again, get away from this guy.
Do the classy thing, take the high road, and send a card or flowers directly to his mother. |
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36, skin in a "new" phase? Oil/break-out free but now having bouts of sensitivity and surface dehydration. |
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Thu Feb 09, 2006 9:44 am |
I think you need to start being honest with yourself. MIXED signals???? Please... You just broke up with him and he's already with somebody else????? Doesn't sound mixed to me.
If you knew his father, and mourn his loss, do it in your own way. If you're religious, go to church and light a candle. If not find another way.
I suspect your desire to attend the funeral has alot less to do with your fondness for the father, and alot more to do with the ex.
Also, and I know this is going to make me unpopular, but I think its kind of whacky to seek advice on your love life from a skincare site, or any site for that matter. Nobody here knows you or him and you don't know the people posting. Shaking my head... |
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Fri Feb 10, 2006 5:48 am |
| katee wrote: |
| Also, and I know this is going to make me unpopular, but I think its kind of whacky to seek advice on your love life from a skincare site, or any site for that matter. Nobody here knows you or him and you don't know the people posting. Shaking my head... |
I think people use this forum for advice on personal matters to obtain some objectivity from folks who don't have an interest in the outcome. Then the person seeking advice processes the advice and decides whether it applies, or does not apply, to his or her unique situation. I think they are also seeking a non-judgment zone. Shaking my head back. |
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36, skin in a "new" phase? Oil/break-out free but now having bouts of sensitivity and surface dehydration. |
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Fri Feb 10, 2006 1:11 pm |
| I agree w/ most of what's been said before. But you could send a card to the family (not necessarily just addressed to your ex). |
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Fri Feb 10, 2006 2:01 pm |
| If you only dated this man's son for 3 months (AND it's over), I think it would be utterly tacky for you to attend his funeral. |
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Fri Feb 10, 2006 2:06 pm |
I agree with the others that mailing a card to the family appears to be most appropriate with this situation. Find a quiet place to meditate and pray for the dad. That's what is really important.
And give yourself the gift of time to heal from the breakup. Healing doesn't happen overnight, but from what little I've read about the situation, you're better off without him. This may be a blessing that it happened so early in the relationship. Ask yourself....what would I to my (potential) future daughter if she were experiencing this? |
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Sat Feb 11, 2006 8:15 am |
Awwww LandB - I didn't mean to sound judgemental. And, I really do understand that sometimes, it helps to hear what people who have no particular stake in a situation think. I also know that sometimes, when someone is going thru a tough time, just hearing some supportive voices can be a big help.
I said what I did because glistenxz seems to be looking for very specific answers and advice and THAT worried me a little.
Anyway, in the future, I think I'm gonna limit my comments to SKINCARE (although, THAT can be equally dangerous  |
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Sat Feb 11, 2006 4:42 pm |
| DON'T GO!! I think you may end up regretting it. As was mentioned earlier, unless you were exceptionally close to his dad, a sympathy crad will suffice, and possibly save your dignity as well. |
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Fair,sensitive,combination, skin. 38 yrs old~ |
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Wed Feb 15, 2006 7:13 pm |
I ended up NOT going. Thank god I did not or else I would be the laughing stock of the world without an once of dignity left.
The only reason why I wanted to come was because I wanted to be there for the father, there for him, but apparently it was pointless. I was just trying to be human, which was to help a friend, but from his attitude of not even inviting me in the first place, it showed he could care less.
a friendship had died.
Thanks for all the advice! |
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22,even complexion, oily but few breakouts (most break out occurs after breakups, bad grades, and red cycle time);/ |
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