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Thu Jul 06, 2006 2:05 am  |
| katee wrote: |
Ah Guapagirl.....lol
You gooooooooooo girl  |
Thanking you 
I like it because they don't fit into the usual male mold of what women are supposed to look like. They are fat and thin, maybe not conventionally pretty but all pretty feisty funny and sexy. I think they make better role models than say Posh Becks or Jordan. Just my view  |
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my new jewellery website:www.gentle-medusa.com |
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Thu Jul 06, 2006 9:09 am |
Hello lovely girls,
As you guys suggested, I have talked to my b/f, telling him that it was okay for him to look at p-o-r-n, just as long as it does not affect our relationship. He explained to me the reason why he joined, stating that his friend perked up his curiousity.
You girls are so smart! I think he is trying to work things out between us. HOwever, what got me a little worried now is that he says without p-o-r-n, he has to force "it" out sometimes and it gives him a bad headache afterwards. Do you guys ever have this problem before? Is this because he is so used to doing the deed with p-o-r-n that he needs it now, kind of like a habit? We are working on this and it is definitely weirding me out.
--------
This is the guy I broke up with a while ago, anya.  He explained to me that he had no feelings for her. He was just shock I broke up with him so suddenly and needed someone to comfort him during his dad's death. He told me please talk to him about these things before leaving him. I may be back with him, but sometimes all these issues linger in my head.
-----
Now that I think about it, this guy has TON of issues. Am the only lucky girl here?  |
_________________
22,even complexion, oily but few breakouts (most break out occurs after breakups, bad grades, and red cycle time);/ |
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Thu Jul 06, 2006 9:45 am |
| Ive heard that some guys prefer p-o-rn to sex sometimes. Just because there is less pressure to satisfy their g/f's because they can just get it over with in a couple minutes and not worry about spending an hour to satisfy the lady. |
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Thu Jul 06, 2006 11:16 am |
| glistenxz wrote: |
Hello lovelies,
I recently found out that my b/f has recently joined a p-o-r-n site called sucicide girls. He was checking his email and I saw it. He told me he only joined for a month.
Should I tell him that this bothers me and tell him to quit or should I just break up with him?
Besides that, he does not smoke or drink or gamble, Loves me, respect me, and does everything I ask of him most times. |
Actually, Suicide girls is not a p-o-r-n site.
You will not see women or men engaging in sexual activity. In fact, men are not featured on the site at all in terms of the public photo sets featured.
What it IS though is an erotica website, with alternative style pin-ups. Yes the girls are naked, but they aren't having sex or anything. There is a positive side to that website...they take women of all shapes and sizes...plus size to petite.
No...I don't model for it but two of my friends do.
That said, I'm not saying it is good for any bf to go behind the gf's back and do something that might bother her...same the other way around.
The best thing is to talk! I did with my dh before we got married.
I just think the type of site that SG is needed to be clarified. It's not like signing up for one of those sleazy sites...I think SG is quite empowering for women. |
_________________
32, Fair Skin, combo/break-out prone. Simple routine of REN No. 1 Purity Cleansing Balm and Argan oil as a moisturizer; Clarisonic when needed. That's it! |
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Thu Jul 06, 2006 4:29 pm |
| glistenxz wrote: |
HOwever, what got me a little worried now is that he says without p-o-r-n, he has to force "it" out sometimes and it gives him a bad headache afterwards. |
I read in Cosmo that when guys get like that they could need therapy.
And, of course, Cosmo wouldn't lieee... /sarcasm
But still, if it were me in your position I'd be alarmed. |
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25, very fair, dry/sensitive, mild rosacea, otherwise good skin! |
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Thu Jul 06, 2006 7:12 pm |
Hi again Glistenxz My goodness, this d00d's giving you lots of worries isn't he  I think we all agree here that men enjoy pr0n - its the way their little brains are wired. But if he relies solely on pr0n to "get it up", then he's got a problem. I'd hazard a guess that this site isn't the only one he's been visiting - he must be at it for years to 'need' it.
You said he has a ton of issues...my gawd woman you must be Mother Teresa to put up with it all But having said that, some women like that role and if you do, good luck to you, but if its a constant fret/obsession/worry/"little chats" etc. then I'd move on - unless of course you're studying to be a psychologist or psychiatrist
Anya |
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Fri Jul 07, 2006 7:45 am |
When it comes to pron, there are only two kinds of men -
those who admit looking at it and liars |
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Fri Jul 07, 2006 8:09 am |
| appletini wrote: |
When it comes to pron, there are only two kinds of men -
those who admit looking at it and liars |
how true! |
_________________
32, Fair Skin, combo/break-out prone. Simple routine of REN No. 1 Purity Cleansing Balm and Argan oil as a moisturizer; Clarisonic when needed. That's it! |
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Sat Jul 08, 2006 7:34 am |
I'm sorry to hear most of you say "99% of guys look at it" and have you go on to ridicule them for being stupid or robotic. I'm sorry to hear (see?) most of you using these reasons to sort of ignore the issue at hand and just chaulk it up to some kind of "guy" thing.
The fact is, ------------ is not normal. It has nothing to do with healthy, positive sex and quite obviously, it's a very poor and misleading "representation" of what sex is. It's not normal, it's degrading. I can only guess what suicidegirls.com is, but I'm pretty sure there's lots of pictures of women posing seductively, right? How can any of you just accept that as normal? And even worse, I don't mean to pick on ParisTroika, but EMPOWERING? No way. As an independent, intelligent and slightly feministic young woman of the 21st century, stripping down and manuevering my body into taunting, vulnerable positions so that men can eye my body up and down and think about violating me and nothing else, is not empowering. That's not what sex is. That's not what being a woman is all about.
------------ is only a barbaric, regressive way for men to set themselves back into the era where women were nothing but household slaves for them- they see what they want, they have it, and then that woman doesn't exist for them anymore. It's too bad that so many people, men and women, accept this ideal and think that it's normal and pleasing. If sex and feeling excited is all about objectifying, then I think humanity hasn't taken any steps to looking at sex in a more positive and responsible light.
More to the point- my boyfriend works two successful jobs, he's your typical "drink and hang out with the guys" and of course, has me, tra la la. Now to my female mind, why oh why would he want to look at ------------? Is there something our relationship is lacking romantically or sexually? Apparently not, since he doesn't like ------------. If he did, I'd be worried about what he's missing, what isn't fun for him any more, and what he's feeling. Most importantly, I'd talk to him and try to deduce *why* he would want to be excited by strange pin up women over the internet. That isn't to say that I scream at him if he looks at another girl and thinks she's hot- but it always ends with "Yeah she's hot but she doesn't have the awesome hips like you do." Looking is normal to me. Actively going and searching for other sexual outlets is not.
As you can see, my only advice would be to weigh your relationship and see where you stand with this guy. Apparently, it's not that big of a deal, but "I'm curious" can lead to so many other things and is usually a way to push you back from something he's trying to figure out for himself. Don't be so quick to brush off such activities as "oh he's just being a guy". Quite often, that's how other problems start up.[/i] |
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Sat Jul 08, 2006 8:13 am |
 in another forum I read/check many guys contested that for a guy pron is diff from sex and has nothing to do with the gf or the relationship. Apparently in a guy's mind romance and intimacy with gf is separated from fantasy which they derive from pron. Of course this isn't MY opinion of a guy's mind, it's what the message was from quite a few guys.
IMO not all guys watch pron after they have a gf given that the gf is able to satify his needs (to a reasonable extent).
Also it should be noted that there are also many women who enjoy pronography. And then there is gay pron, so it can't be said that pron is only degrading to women.
There are some very degrading forms of pron out there but imo I do not find ALL forms of pron degrading, there are some very tasteful pron out there, and not all are misleading, it depends on your own interpretation of what you see. I'm sure a couple sharing a romantic night watching some tasteful pron to enhance their libido isn't always a bad thing. As to what is normal - well there is a whole debate to the mere definition of the word.
However I do agree on the point of why would he need to search for other sexual outlets? Why does he need to solve his urges by himself so often? It seems he has stopped watching the pron at your request, now maybe you two can work out the problem of why he needs to do his deed when he has you.
My bf sure doesn't have this habit even when I'm not available. |
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Sat Jul 08, 2006 9:22 am |
Well, why do you need fantasy if you *do* have a girlfriend? That's a senseless arguement coming from guys who have nothing better to offer about their "past times". :P
It should also be noted that there is a difference between erotica and simply being portrayed as an object. |
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Sat Jul 08, 2006 12:35 pm |
| FrevaKZ wrote: |
| As an independent, intelligent and slightly feministic young woman of the 21st century, stripping down and manuevering my body into taunting, vulnerable positions so that men can eye my body up and down and think about violating me and nothing else, is not empowering. That's not what sex is. That's not what being a woman is all about.[/i] |
Hi! I totally respect your opinion, and it's one I shared for a long time.
I have dicovered that for me, feeling vulnerable is a beautiful feminine thing. To stop being upset about everyone else and what theyre thinking (men, other women, ect) has been the most empowering thing for me. Not just s*x, but letting go of having to be 'better' that men (or anyone) has made my life much more peaceful. Not that I make p*rn videos or anything!
And glisten, It's still important to openly discuss what is bugging you, that's good. But changing people doesn't work, and letting your man know you want him to be happy will give him more strength to make decisions that help him and you! Who knows, if you told him you are okay with his p*rn watching, maybe he would stop The less energy you give something (bad or good) the less impact it has.
Just my experiences!
May you find peace..
Bella |
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Sat Jul 08, 2006 1:20 pm |
I agree about how you feel about being empowered- it's just that finding peace within yourself and feigning it to please a man is just totally different ends of the spectrum. I'm very passionate about my crusade for women (as everyone can tell, haha) and their battle against objectifying so I think that some people may be in the dark about what is empowering to us as females, and what is stepping back into the dark ages and viewing something atrocious as something beautiful. I just feel awful when girls and women have to accept certain behaviour from men that shouldn't be accepted at all...
I guess as the years go by, things will slowly change. |
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Sat Jul 08, 2006 1:21 pm |
| FrevaKZ wrote: |
I'm sorry to hear most of you say "99% of guys look at it" and have you go on to ridicule them for being stupid or robotic. I'm sorry to hear (see?) most of you using these reasons to sort of ignore the issue at hand and just chaulk it up to some kind of "guy" thing.
The fact is, ------------ is not normal. It has nothing to do with healthy, positive sex and quite obviously, it's a very poor and misleading "representation" of what sex is. It's not normal, it's degrading. I can only guess what suicidegirls.com is, but I'm pretty sure there's lots of pictures of women posing seductively, right? How can any of you just accept that as normal? And even worse, I don't mean to pick on ParisTroika, but EMPOWERING? No way. As an independent, intelligent and slightly feministic young woman of the 21st century, stripping down and manuevering my body into taunting, vulnerable positions so that men can eye my body up and down and think about violating me and nothing else, is not empowering. That's not what sex is. That's not what being a woman is all about.
------------ is only a barbaric, regressive way for men to set themselves back into the era where women were nothing but household slaves for them- they see what they want, they have it, and then that woman doesn't exist for them anymore. It's too bad that so many people, men and women, accept this ideal and think that it's normal and pleasing. If sex and feeling excited is all about objectifying, then I think humanity hasn't taken any steps to looking at sex in a more positive and responsible light.
More to the point- my boyfriend works two successful jobs, he's your typical "drink and hang out with the guys" and of course, has me, tra la la. Now to my female mind, why oh why would he want to look at ------------? Is there something our relationship is lacking romantically or sexually? Apparently not, since he doesn't like ------------. If he did, I'd be worried about what he's missing, what isn't fun for him any more, and what he's feeling. Most importantly, I'd talk to him and try to deduce *why* he would want to be excited by strange pin up women over the internet. That isn't to say that I scream at him if he looks at another girl and thinks she's hot- but it always ends with "Yeah she's hot but she doesn't have the awesome hips like you do." Looking is normal to me. Actively going and searching for other sexual outlets is not.
As you can see, my only advice would be to weigh your relationship and see where you stand with this guy. Apparently, it's not that big of a deal, but "I'm curious" can lead to so many other things and is usually a way to push you back from something he's trying to figure out for himself. Don't be so quick to brush off such activities as "oh he's just being a guy". Quite often, that's how other problems start up.[/i] |
Empowering meaning they are comfortable with their bodies. They don't hide their bodies and are comfortable with exactly how they are...realizing they aren't perfect but they don't need to be.
I'm sorry but, gals that have the guts to do that have courage. They choose to do those photo sets. They aren't taken advantage of or anything. It's not like the p*rn that you are thinking of.
It's erotica, yes...they don't have sex or anything on film. I don't see how posing naked by choice is objectifying yourself.
The models have the most power on that site. If they are uncomfortable in the least by a comment, or anything, that offending member, man or woman, gets kicked off the site.
And honestly...men are not the majority on that website that join...many of them are women.
We can agree to disagree.
My friends who chose to model are not objectifying themselves. They are strong, independent women who decided it would be fun to do. The comments left on photosets are respectful and positive.
I just don't think it's fair to lump SuicideGirls into the same category as those hardcore p*rn sites when it's not even p*rn. Maybe I'm just being defensive because two of my friends are on it. They would never have sex on camera (from their own statements).
I have a different opinion about p*rn and videos like "girls gone wild."
But if any woman chooses to do that (model for SG)...I don't think any other person, me included, has the right to criticze that decision. I would never personally model for SG. But I don't fault my friends for doing it or think that they are playing into the objectifying women sphere. If others do, then that if their own opinion...and I don't fault them for that either.
It may not empower some people...but to each her own. |
_________________
32, Fair Skin, combo/break-out prone. Simple routine of REN No. 1 Purity Cleansing Balm and Argan oil as a moisturizer; Clarisonic when needed. That's it! |
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Sat Jul 08, 2006 2:57 pm |
| Quote: |
| Empowering meaning they are comfortable with their bodies. They don't hide their bodies and are comfortable with exactly how they are...realizing they aren't perfect but they don't need to be. |
And that's perfectly fine! I totally agree.
| Quote: |
| I'm sorry but, gals that have the guts to do that have courage. They choose to do those photo sets. They aren't taken advantage of or anything. It's not like the p*rn that you are thinking of. |
Do women have to be naked to be used in the same context as the p*rn I *am* thinking of?
| Quote: |
| It's erotica, yes...they don't have sex or anything on film. I don't see how posing naked by choice is objectifying yourself. |
If you do it for the sole intention of being looked at for sexual promiscuity and nothing more, yes, that's objectifying yourself. I can think of other ways of celebrating your body and feminine spirit.
Besides, do you honestly believe men view these pictures to cheer women's liberation on and nothing else? Of course not...they seem women as objects to be used in self fantasy and pleasure. Just because there's a lack of sex doesn't mean it isn't less demeaning.
| Quote: |
I just don't think it's fair to lump SuicideGirls into the same category as those hardcore p*rn sites when it's not even p*rn. Maybe I'm just being defensive because two of my friends are on it. They would never have sex on camera (from their own statements).
|
I'm glad your friends are in control of their own lives, but ultimately, they're not going to be looked at solely for their beauty. Like I said before, a lack of sex doesn't make it any less demeaning.
And in any case, if every woman on that site was there with the intention to show off their spiritual, mental, whatever prowress and celebrate beauty and confidence, why is the name of the link suicidegirls? Isn't that sort of counter productive? Or is there a much more darker, underlaying theme here?
There's just too much here for me to simply accept such a perspective, because there seems to be so much more to the topic at hand...and there is.
But I didn't mean to bash your friends or anything, Troika. I wasn't coming out and saying that I apologize if you thought that was my main point. |
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Sat Jul 08, 2006 3:10 pm |
Oh no...no worries.
Discussions like this are very interesting
We are all just so dynamic and different!
Women rule... |
_________________
32, Fair Skin, combo/break-out prone. Simple routine of REN No. 1 Purity Cleansing Balm and Argan oil as a moisturizer; Clarisonic when needed. That's it! |
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Thu Jul 13, 2006 3:33 am |
This is such a great site!!! It can get addictive
Thank Tiger_Tim |
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Thu Jul 13, 2006 3:40 am |
| tiger_tim wrote: |
| Quote: |
| CANDY: Boys are stupid & we should just throw rocks at them! |
Candy (and all other interested ladies), when I needed some cheering up, Yen posted this link http://www.davidandgoliathtees.com/
It not only relieves stress, but, well, basically makes you feel soooo goooood! Turn on the speakers to enjoy it!
click on games
click on "boys are stupid, throw rocks at them"
Aim with your mouse and click.
Just imagine the face of whomever you wish.... |
LOOOOVE this juvenile game!!!! but when I get to the next level (  ) it will only let me throw one rock! and then it stops working!!!!???!!! not fare |
_________________
Location: Denmark. Me = 32, think I'm combo without oiliness + sometimes sensitive. Have noticed that skin doesn't heal as quickly anymore and I've developed fine lines around my eyes... Hormonal breakouts which are sometimes cystic. PCOS |
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Thu Jul 13, 2006 3:43 am |
oh, and to add my input to the men + p-o-r-n issue.
as others have said - talk to the BF and find out why it is he's into it.
to boil it down to the very basics, there can be 2 reasons...
1. it's exhilirating and insoiring
2. he's not getting enough of the good stuff at home... |
_________________
Location: Denmark. Me = 32, think I'm combo without oiliness + sometimes sensitive. Have noticed that skin doesn't heal as quickly anymore and I've developed fine lines around my eyes... Hormonal breakouts which are sometimes cystic. PCOS |
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Sun Jul 16, 2006 12:18 pm |
| blahh- suicide girls is disgusting. Besides, isn't your beauty already enticing enough?! GOD boys are stupid!! |
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Sun Jul 16, 2006 1:03 pm |
okay, i'm gonna get a bit personal here.
i and my boyfriend have a healthy long term relationship. our sex life is great, and we are open about it, and discuss things that do and don't work for us openly and honestly.
i masturbate, sometimes it's because i'm in the mood, and he's not there, sometimes i could have access to him, but i want to just please myself. sometimes i use it as a way of "priming the pump" when i know we're getting together later.
when i masturbate, it's not a matter of simple physical manipulation, i fantasize, i make up a story in my head, a scenario. without that, it doesn't work for me.
my boyfriend also masturbates, for the same reasons that i do. however, it doesn't work for him to just create a scenario in his head, he needs some visual stimulation to start things off. and so yes, he looks at pron.
i do not have a problem with this.
it doesn't affect our relationship, he is not unavailable to me because he's caught up in the pron fantasy world.
he also pointed something out to me, many women are against pron, but read romance novels. tell me that isn't pron in a different medium.
anyway, now i've shared way too much about myself  but i couldn't think of a way to express my feelings on the issue without going there. i hope i didn't offend anyone. |
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Sun Jul 16, 2006 2:39 pm |
| romance novels make me feel corny and gushy- like its wrong to read them or something! lol! |
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Sun Jul 16, 2006 3:29 pm |
Thanks Yen! After giving this game a go, I feel much better now!
P.S. I bookmarked it for future emergencies! |
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Sun Jul 16, 2006 6:21 pm |
As an avid reader and writer of erotica, I'd like to kindly point out that there's a huge difference between that and pr0n.
While pron popularly focuses on unadorned and unemotional lusts and the explicit depiction of sexual acts, erotica tends to define material with a higher emotional content, the development of place, character and story line, or of an overall artistic theme.
Of course, the material is subjective;) But anyone with a remotely semi-intellectual and artistic mind can distinguish between them easily. |
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Sun Jul 16, 2006 7:37 pm |
This is just the last straw girls!!!!!!
How do you girls feel about this? I found out today that the day before we became official (boyfriend and girlfriend), he has sent a few pictures of him naked to a married girl and she has sent some back.
He apologized to me and said it was just something they were just joking and the girl was getting a divorce. IN my heart, I felt what he did was wrong wrong wrong! It did not matter whether the girl was getting a divorce or not, she was still married and it was the day before we became official and she sent him back naked pictures of her the day we became official and after. They stopped talking for months now.
By the way, he met this girl when he was on a trip (when me and him were just friends).
What would you girls do? I am so disappointed. I feel disgusted. He wants to get married with me, but I feel this is a sign from GOD that this is not the right guy for me.
I love you girls sooo much for always helping me through hard times in relationships. Do you girls think there is really one person for every person? This just is a horrible feeling. |
_________________
22,even complexion, oily but few breakouts (most break out occurs after breakups, bad grades, and red cycle time);/ |
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