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Sun Jun 25, 2006 7:14 pm  |
I need love! I just recently had my heart broken. Anyone else going through this? Let's commisserate.  |
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Mon Jun 26, 2006 11:33 am |
I'm so sorry to hear that!!!! Having your heart broken is miserable... I'm sending you an internet hug, and commiseration.
However, I have to say that as tempting and as comforting as it can be to fall for someone soon after--in my experience that too has ended badly.
When my relationship ended, I was depressed and miserable for a few weeks and then I was swept off my feet by a new guy. It was wonderful and romantic and I thought "so this is why that last relationship had to end so badly, so I could find this guy!" And then, kaboom. I was dumped--b/c he decided he couldn't handle being in a relationship. (A few months later he entered AA and I think that explains a lot, his life was spiraling and I was just one more casualty. We're good friends now).
This second break-up hurt even more than the first if possible, because it reinforced all the negative thoughts I had about myself, and mostly b/c I had never really gotten over the first. I needed time to heal myself, and get to a point where I didn't need a boyfriend, so that I could find someone I wanted to be with, rather than finding someone to fill a void someone else left.
But that's just MY experience, and it was a very long hard road. I'm still looking for the next great love--but I'm actually not even really looking. It would certainly be nice to meet someone--I'm very much a "relationship" person, but I have a lot going on right now and I'm contented (finally!) to just wait and see what happens.
That's not to say that some positive male attention wouldn't be great for you right now. You will love again, and be loved, and be even happier than you were before. |
_________________
29--oily somewhat acneic skin, hazel eyes, long dark brown hair |
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Mon Jun 26, 2006 5:58 pm |
i am so sorry. i feel your pain...
but cheer up girl.... go out with your girlfriends and have fun. and the most important thing... dont think about him..... |
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Mon Jun 26, 2006 7:48 pm |
I wish there was a better way of dealing with break-ups.
It's hard when you miss the other person or even if you just hanging out with someone.
the best thing may be to keep yourself busy and put yourself out there socially...not necessarily to meet someone else, but maybe to find friends...then when your ready to move forward it'll be for the right reasons. Friends are so important at times like this. |
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Fri Aug 11, 2006 5:44 pm |
| Thanks all. Much better now. Still sad but healing. |
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Fri Aug 11, 2006 6:49 pm |
| It's such a difficult feeling to go through. It's like healing a broken limb...you just have to give it time and let it heal, but I know that's easier said than done. ((Hugs)) |
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Fri Aug 11, 2006 6:52 pm |
| sending a **BIG** hug your way~~~ |
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Fri Aug 11, 2006 7:57 pm |
Eek, I completely understand how you feel. I didn't date for 2 years! Met a seemingly great guy who ultimately decided he had commitment problems...oh well.
The tough part I'm having mpe is that I moved here (Baltimore) 2 years ago and I work remotely, which means I have a home office and travel so that in turn means I don't meet a whole lot of people. I'm active in a few clubs (French and an outdoor one) but it's kind of like pulling teeth to make friends. If any of our great forum members live near/around Baltimore, shoot me a message. Maybe we'll have more in common than the great subjects of skin care and make up!
Onward and upward. |
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Tue Aug 15, 2006 12:51 pm |
| Just to add my hugs and two cents to all that have experienced heartache. I was married for 14 years and have a son. My husband had a seven month affair on me that I found out about after he confessed. I had the perfect life, great jobs, great parenting skills, same goals in life..great relationship. (we never fought or anything). He said he just thought after being married for that long he was missing out on life. This was four years ago. Although we are great friends, it took me a long time to heal from this. (If you ever completely heal anyway). But I realized that although he shook op my life and changed it, I was not going to spend the rest of my life miserable. I have dated a few people through the last four years, but I think I became hardened to hurt. I am in a relationship today that seems to be going well, but I suppose you never know. I live everyday like it is my last and if something happens to this relationship, then I will move on again. I have more to offer life and I enjoy it to the fullest. I will not settle. If someone fits the bill and wants to spend their life or time with me and it works for both..I am happy. If not, move on little bucko....be free!. Easy for me to say today, have not always been that positive about it. But you only live once. |
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Tue Aug 15, 2006 1:02 pm |
Thanks, everyone, for your kindness.
Bergquis, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you don't mind me saying, but couldn't your hubby (ex, I guess) come up with a better reason than that? I mean, he ruined your marriage to see what he was "missing"? It would've been one thing if he'd been smoking crack and was not in his right mind, but jeebs...
Sounds like you have a positive outlook though. |
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Tue Aug 15, 2006 1:09 pm |
TooInvolved
Nope that was really his excuse!. He said he got married young and thought that we were "different" and thought that for our whole marriage. Umm, could have fouled me since he seemed really happy. Even our family and closest friends were stumped by it. Said wow, would have never guessed it. I think he let certain body parts do the talking for him. I really think he went through a mid life crisis. Since he was turning 39 at the time. He is still going through it..but not my problem. Of course a year after the divorce he said, that he was clouded and it seemed like that was what he wanted at the time. Now that he is out looking in, he was happy in the marriage. Boy could have fouled me. I gave myself to him completely, he ruined that trust and commitment, I could never take him back. Now that I am out looking in, it probably was the best thing that ever happened, just in terms of being happy with myself (finding myself too). I did enjoy being married, would do it again in a minute if the right person came along. |
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Tue Aug 15, 2006 1:14 pm |
awww heartaches a terrible thing
i just want to say i admire bergquis positive outlook its really inspiring,
i experiencing my fair share of it at the momenta disintergrating 2 year relationship with my first real bf , my first love  |
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Tue Aug 15, 2006 8:13 pm |
| I totally understand how you feel, I had a boyfriend from Iceland who broke my heart when I was 14 and I still love him even tho what he did to me. It's hard to move on, that is truth. *hug |
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