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Mon Oct 16, 2006 10:47 am  |
Hormone Hostage
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a * spam * in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!
Dangerous - What's for dinner?
Safer - Can I help you with dinner?
Safest - Where would you like to go for dinner?
Ultra Safe - Here, have some wine.
Dangerous - Are you wearing that?
Safer - Wow, you sure look good in brown!
Safest - WOW! Look at you!
Ultra Safe - Here, have some wine
Dangerous - What are you so worked up about?
Safer - Could we be overreacting? (so NOT the right answer...lol)
Safest - Here's my paycheck.
Ultra SafeHere, have some wine.
Dangerous - Should you be eating that?
Safer - You know, there are a lot of apples left.
Safest - Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
Ultra Safe - Here, have some wine.
Dangerous - What did you DO all day? (at this point the kids & the dog run for cover...)
Safer - I hope you didn't over-do it today.
Safest - I've always loved you in that robe!
Ultra Safe - Here, have some more wine.
13 Things PMS Stands For:
1 - Pass My Shotgun
2 - Psychotic Mood Shift
3 - Perpetual Munching Spree
4 - Puffy Mid-Section
5 - People Make me Sick (I don't need to be PMS'ing for this  )
6 - Provide Me with Sweets
7 - Pardon My Sobbing
8 - Pimples May Surface
9 - Pass My Sweat pants
10 - Pissy Mood Syndrome
11 - Plainly; Men Suck
12 - Pack My Stuff
13 - Potential Murder Suspect (not if you know where to hide the body!!) |
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Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. ~ Voltaire www.Candessence.com |
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Mon Oct 16, 2006 1:04 pm |
Classic! Thanks...I needed the laugh!
Mary  |
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43, Confirmed desert rat (Scottsdale, AZ), animal lover (3 kitties and a pup) and hopeless product junkie (I blame EDS...lol!) |
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Mon Oct 16, 2006 1:26 pm |
| Fantastic! that's one for the fridge door as a reminder of what not to ask |
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Location: Denmark. Me = 32, think I'm combo without oiliness + sometimes sensitive. Have noticed that skin doesn't heal as quickly anymore and I've developed fine lines around my eyes... Hormonal breakouts which are sometimes cystic. PCOS |
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Mon Oct 16, 2006 7:14 pm |
That's too funny. I'm gonna copy it and email it to my boyfriend. Do you know what I hate? When he asks, "Is it that time of the month?" out of the blue. Oh, it just sends me through the roof! Like anytime a woman is less than perfectly cheerful, she's menstrating... MEN!
I also really want a glass of wine now. |
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Mon Oct 16, 2006 10:57 pm |
| violetanne wrote: |
That's too funny. I'm gonna copy it and email it to my boyfriend. Do you know what I hate? When he asks, "Is it that time of the month?" out of the blue. Oh, it just sends me through the roof! Like anytime a woman is less than perfectly cheerful, she's menstrating... MEN!
I also really want a glass of wine now. |
OK, I hate to admit this, but I once had a boyfriend who tracked my cycles, unbeknownst to me! 
I was under a lot of job stress at the time, and I suppose I could get a little b!tchy on occasion.  One day, during an argument he blurted out, and I quote "What the heck is your problem? You can't be PMS-ing because I'm logging your periods on my calendar, so you can't use THAT as an excuse!" The silence that followed was D-E-A-F-E-N-I-N-G! I was actually rendered speechless and he was practically grabbing the air to put the words back in his mouth! Funny now, but at the time I almost wrung the life out of him with my bare hands!  |
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