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Sun Nov 19, 2006 6:04 pm  |
I keep having this nightmare with a recurring theme. It's definitely been going on for the past couple of years - especially during times of stress.
I always wake up in a panic attack because I "suddenly" remember we have another pet and I haven't fed it in weeks.
Sometimes it's a dog I once owned, or cats, or even fish. It's a feeling of pure dread - that I "forgot" about caring for a pet.
For animal lovers - it's really one of the worst nightmares imaginable.
any thoughts? I wonder if it's as simple as worrying that I forgot something important? |
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mid 40's, Hawaiian/Japanese, combo skin, med/dark complexion. "If life hands you lemons, throw them at your enemies" |
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Sun Nov 19, 2006 6:19 pm |
My best friend of 15 yrs (dog years she was really old) passed away and I blamed myself for not spending enough time with her before she passed away (she was at my mom's house). But when she died (found her in the pool, people tell me dogs tend to try to hide when they know they are going to die) still makes me cry to think but I was so sad. I still have a shrine for her (cremated and have the urn, some people freak out by that). But I kept having dreams of her, where I would see her but would not come near her or touch her for fear that it was a dream and she would be gone. I could feel tears coming down while I was sleeping and woke up actually crying. I guess for me, it was my guilt that she died and I didn't do anything to help her and coming to realization she was gone. Now when I have dreams of her, I would touch her and be happy.
Like you said, it's the stress that's making you have these dreams. Forgetting to do things makes everyone stressed out and especially if it's towards pets that we care for, it's even worse because it's our responsibility to take care of them and they depend on his for food. Do you have alot of things going on right now?
Sorry I wasn't much help. |
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Sun Nov 19, 2006 6:41 pm |
Rjez.......... I have had the exact same dreams as you!!!!
I used to have a lot of rabbits, guinea pigs, mice etc.. and when I was lazy I wouldn't bring them inside or feed them like for a day, but generally was an OK owner. And I have had several dreams in my past where I was back in my old homes and found rotting stinking cages and half dying pets  and I would feel enormous guilt during those dreams.
I think it could be triggered by stress, and a sort of internal subconscious guilt of the past.
But whatever meaning they might hold, dreams are undeniably connected to our conscious living and the events we have experienced. |
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Sun Nov 19, 2006 7:10 pm |
qisme615, I am SO sorry for the loss of your beloved pet! I was in tears just reading your post ... I cannot imagine how you felt after she passed away! I think I'd better find some way to make my two cats live forever, because if anything ever happened to them, I just don't know what I would do! It makes me panic to even think about it.
My heart goes out to you. |
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Sun Nov 19, 2006 7:52 pm |
MermaidGirl - Thank you. It was the hardest day of my life, felt like someone ripped my heart out. Dragging her out of the pool (almost fell in because she was so heavy due to the water) while I was crying my eyes out. It's eerie but I took a picture of her a day before she passed away. When I went to develop it, it was half blue and red. So that is the last picture I have of her, looking into the camera up at me as if saying bye because of all the pictures I have of her, she would never ever look into the camera. I'll always live with the guilt of it.  Ok, no crying.
Spend as much time as you can with your babies. Take as many pictures as you can and record on camera of them being happy, so you'll always have them somewhere. How long have you had them? |
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Sun Nov 19, 2006 8:07 pm |
Rjez, I agree with what the others have said. For an animal lover or pet owner, forgetting to feed pets who are relying on you is pretty much the worst thing possible, so I think dreaming of it may be a simple manifestation of guilt or worry, not even necessarily related to your pets.
qisme615, I definitely cried when I read your post. I told my husband just the other day that if I could have only one wish, it wouldn't be for millions of dollars, it would just be for my bunny boy Forest to be with us for the rest of our lives. I don't think it's weird at all that you have your dear dog's ashes in an urn--- if anything ever happens to Forest, I definitely plan to keep his ashes in an urn so I can always have him close... |
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27, sensitive/reactive/acne prone skin, dark brown hair, blue eyes, possibly the palest woman alive... |
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Sun Nov 19, 2006 8:26 pm |
| manslayerliz - Thank you for not thinking it's weird. I was so overcome with grief that I would have her picture next to the urn with her dog collar and every morning place a small dish of water. Yes, extra weird but hey that's how I coped with it by paying respect. Asian culture (Buddhism) usually do this for family members that pass away and would offer fruits on the alter. I just did it my own way for her. I didn't tell anyone I did that because they would say coo coo. But if your not an animal lover, they wouldn't understand. Funny, but at the pet cemetary I was so out of it I asked the staff there, are you sure your going to cremate my dog and not sell her body to some lab. They said yes but who knows. Oh well. |
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Sun Nov 19, 2006 9:36 pm |
| qisme615 wrote: |
| ... Spend as much time as you can with your babies. Take as many pictures as you can and record on camera of them being happy, so you'll always have them somewhere. How long have you had them? |
qisme615, Ok, more tears reading your second post! My heart just breaks for you!
I spend lots of time with my little girls and I'm always trying to catch their goofy antics on camera and video. I tell each of them about 100 times a day that I love them. I have had them both over 7 years now - the big one is 8 years old + a couple months (I got her when she was 5 weeks old) and the little is 7-1/2 years old (I got her when she was 5 months old, but she never grew very much so she is a perpetual kitten and only looks to be about 9 mos./1 year old). I actually got the little cat FOR the big cat because I felt so guilty leaving her at home by herself when I left for work, so I wanted her to have a companion. They look IDENTICAL to one another - because of the size difference, they actually look like a Mom and her baby! They are very cute together when they cuddle up and groom one another (that is when they aren't trying to shred each other!).
I don't think its strange at all that you have your dog's ashes in an urn and a little memorial set up for her. My former roommate had the same thing for her cat - her ashes in a lovely velvet pouch, with her picture, collar and her favorite toy, and some candles set up as a little shrine. I think the only people that don't understand are those that either don't have pets or are not truly attached to their pets. When the dreadful day comes, I will save my girls' ashes as well.
I'm convinced our pets don't ever really "leave" us, especially the ones we are super attached to. I had a friend who was absolutely devastated at the loss of her beloved dog and afterward, she and other members of the family swear they could hear the tinkling sound of his dog tags from time to time. I think they watch out for us and I also think they are a lot more aware and understanding than people give them credit for. I'm sure that even though your dog is "gone," she knows that you love her!
Rjez, I had a couple thoughts when reading your post. (1) There's a strong possibility the dreams don't relate to the dogs at all. I wonder if you are having some sort of anxiety over possibly being disorganized? You would NEVER forget to care for your dogs, but things slip people's minds when they are scattered and/or disorganized, so maybe you are feeling that way? (2) Are you having any sort of fear of not being able to provide for your dogs? If I've had a big, unexpected expense (or recently, fraud on my debit card that totally drained my bank account!) and am running low on money, my first urge is to go to the pet store to make sure I have enough food for my cats. I figure I can always drop a few pounds if I run out of food for myself, but my little cat only weighs 5 pounds, so if she dropped even a pound, it would be 1/5 her entire weight! |
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Sun Nov 19, 2006 10:37 pm |
Rjez, I have the same kind of dreams.. .about cats... but I have not owned one for years (no pets allowed in my building).
The dream will usually take place at the house where I grew up and suddenly one of my childhood cats will be there. If it is my cat "Snoopy" I am always shocked that he is alive (he died) and wonder where he came from. If it is my other two cats I had in my teen years (both who disappeared) then it is because I "forgot" about them.. I had gone away, forgot to feed them etc. And I am shattered that I did, but somehow they survived living there without food or anyone there.
Totally bizzare and I have no idea what they mean. |
_________________
SKIN: combination, reactive to climate changes and extremely fair. "Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself." --Roseanne |
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Mon Nov 20, 2006 4:15 pm |
qisme - I totally understand how you feel. Years ago I lost a dog that was closer to me than any other. I swore there were times when I could smell him entering the room ... or wake up thinking that it was a mistake, he was still alive. I think for me it was the loss I couldn't accept. The good thing is that my quasi-boyfriend at the time was a veterinarian - he totally understood what I was going through and didn't think it was abnormal.
MermaidGirl the disorganized/stress part makes sense. I am starting to stress about not finding the right job. I turned down one position and hope that wasn't a mistake.
tiger_tim Yup, that's exactly another form of my nightmare. |
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mid 40's, Hawaiian/Japanese, combo skin, med/dark complexion. "If life hands you lemons, throw them at your enemies" |
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Mon Nov 20, 2006 4:25 pm |
I used to have a similar kind of nightmare. I would dream that I went away on vacation, and something like a car accident would prevent me from getting home on time. When I did get home I would see that my aquarium had almost all the water leaked out of it (cracks in the side or something), and my fish would be stuck to the sides of the almost-empty aquarium, with their little mouths and gills gasping for oxygen.  Sometimes there would be other pets in the dream, starving or dying of thirst.
What I figured out about these dreams was that they were just ANXIETY DREAMS. Plain and simple. I was stressed out/anxious about something in my life, and then I would have this kind of dream. I don't think there was anything more to it than that. It's the animal-lover's version of the "forgetting about final exam" anxiety dream.  |
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Mon Nov 20, 2006 9:19 pm |
This thread is so sad. It reminded me of those nightmares that I had about my cats. I don't remember the exact details but one of my cats always died in them.
I've had many discussions with my bf about what we should do if any of our cats passed away (I got teary every time). They're definitely getting a proper burial and we'd have to read eulogies for them. I love my cats so much. |
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34, oily acne-prone skin, Toronto, Canada |
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Tue Nov 21, 2006 3:18 am |
okay. this is getting waaaaaaaaaaaay too sad here! i know it started with a dream, but the subject matter is just distressing us all....
i had a most wonderful mutt we rescued from the pound called "Tippy" (and despite being spayed after popping out eight puppies, she still seemed to go into heat at regular intervals). a very prescient name, as at 15 she had one of her legs removed (which i nursed her through). loss of her leg did not stop her from being most popular with the gents of the neighborhood. at 17, we had to hose off one of her paramours, a little terrier who got his leg stuck in her (amongst other things). when we finally put her down (which i will not go into -- as it was me and i'll cry) at the ripe old age of 19, we decided she needed to be buried at a proper cemetary and took her remains to one out in Calabasas. reading the headstones, you'll see a lot of "my beloved Fluffy" and the like. Tippy was different, though, and we needed something that clearly stated her alpha female status. i think we got it right:
"A slut amongst bitches" |
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Tue Nov 21, 2006 5:12 am |
| la vie en rose wrote: |
"A slut amongst bitches" |
well, that sure changed the tone of the room  ... I never even saw that coming... |
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SKIN: combination, reactive to climate changes and extremely fair. "Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself." --Roseanne |
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Tue Nov 21, 2006 10:21 am |
[quote="tiger_tim"]
| la vie en rose wrote: |
"A slut amongst bitches" |
That totally cracked me up! I need to forward that to a good friend of mine. Her female mastiff and my older male grew up together and now her female is always "flagging" our male ... standing and waving her tail to the side to indicate she "want's it".
They're both show dogs but we don't have plans to breed these two. This makes it even more difficult because female mastiffs will "choose" their mates. |
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mid 40's, Hawaiian/Japanese, combo skin, med/dark complexion. "If life hands you lemons, throw them at your enemies" |
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