Group gift exchanges @ office -- do you feel obligated?
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free skin care · Tue Dec 12, 2006 7:23 pm

I don't mean the type of exchange or gift buying where you are good friends with someone and you want to buy them a present. I mean the group/team grab-bag white-elephant steal-the-one-before gift exchanges.

Maybe I caught the Bah-Hum Bug, but I don't look forward to these and I am starting to opt out of them. Even at a low price point for the gift, I just don't want to be in it. I end up with a something that I either donate or keep around to re-gift and either way it's clutter until it's gone.

Do I stand alone on this? Embarassed

free skin care · Tue Dec 12, 2006 7:35 pm

Those white elephant deals can be a pain!!! (Although I'm STILL chuckling about a white elephant party I went to a few years back where one girl actually brought a Mr. Bean keychain--- hysterical!) I say if you're not feeling it, go ahead and opt out guilt-free. After all, there are plenty of other ways to enjoy the season.

Tue Dec 12, 2006 8:16 pm

Pardon my ignorance but what is a while elephant party? Are we talking about "Secret Santa" where you draw someone's name and have to get them a present? Or is this truly a "pull some gift out of a bag" type affair?

I quite like Secret Santa deals myself. I know these are a pain and you have a $ limit and struggle to find something decent (and know that you will probably get something silly yourself) but they put everyone at work (or at least at my work) in a good mood. Mind you, I work with a really nice bunch of people and I am close to many of them so this probably changes things.

Anyway, could someone educate me please on this white elephant thing? Embarassed

TIA

free skin care · Tue Dec 12, 2006 8:22 pm

Mabsy, white elephant is a kind of party where every brings a gag gift--- either something useless, horrid, funny, or just plain weird. (Hence the aforementioned Mr. Bean keychain, which is definitely all of the above, LOL!!!!) One person starts and they pick a gift to open, and then the next person opens another gift, and they can either keep what they opened or "steal" and swap gifts with someone who already opened something better. It can be kind of amusing, but afterwards most everyone is left with junk which is kind of a pain...

free skin care · Tue Dec 12, 2006 8:26 pm

We refer to it as a "white elephant" gift exchange sometimes for the unwanted gifts that people have previously gotten. I think it stems from the saying that means something like not discussing the big white elephant in the room -- like an unpleasant thing that everyone knows is there/happening but no one wants to mention. So the gift exchange is like re-gifting an unwanted thing from your home and everyone knows about it being that. Smile

Tue Dec 12, 2006 8:53 pm

Ah, thank you! I've never been to one of those (not sure if I'd want to....). All of the gag gifts that I'd ever gotten at parties etc have ended up in the trash the day after. I felt bad but then again I can't stand clutter (unless we're talking about skincare and then my threshold seems higher Smile

).

free skin care · Tue Dec 12, 2006 10:57 pm

marci65 wrote:

We refer to it as a "white elephant" gift exchange sometimes for the unwanted gifts that people have previously gotten. I think it stems from the saying that means something like not discussing the big white elephant in the room -- like an unpleasant thing that everyone knows is there/happening but no one wants to mention. So the gift exchange is like re-gifting an unwanted thing from your home and everyone knows about it being that. Smile

That seems so strange and ridiculous to me, I would definitely opt out, it seems like people should certainly understand. I would just say that I am very busy this time of year and don't really have the time.
BTW, I am still traumatized from a"secret santa" event that I had in my fifth grade class when I made my partner cry because my gift to her was smaller than her gift to me Rolling Eyes

It was a smackers lip set, what 11 year old doesn't live for smackers?! Laughing

free skin care · Tue Dec 12, 2006 11:14 pm

You don't stand alone in this. Many people do get cheered up after doing little 'secret santa' exchanges. But when it is pressured at the office, or becomes more of a clique thing at work, thats where I think its gone too far.

When I saw your thread in the lounge, I immediatly remembered my SO complaining about how at his work, they are 'encouraging' everyone to pick a childs picture off of a tree in the office and get them the gift they wrote down that they wanted. Ok, doesnt sound too bad. However, most of those children asked for things like a new PSP game, a gameboy game, playstation, a mongoose bicycle. Now I don't mean to be a grinch or anything, but shouldnt the children who are supposedly said to be needy not be asking for things like this? And to expect everyone on your work team to buy a present for a child that will most definetly cost more than $50 is a bit much. I think these are the sorts of things that shouldnt be happening in the office. And I quoted encouraging becase at his work, if you don't do it, the rest of your team will look down on you, that sort of thing.

Sorry, I guess I just had to vent Embarassed

.

So I guess, the secret santa/ white elephant games can be great as an ice breaker at work. But they shouldn't be forced onto workers or pressured in any way. People should respect others wishes to opt out of something like this if they don't feel comfortable with it.

free skin care · Wed Dec 13, 2006 8:34 am

manslayerliz wrote:

Mabsy, white elephant is a kind of party where every brings a gag gift--- either something useless, horrid, funny, or just plain weird. (Hence the aforementioned Mr. Bean keychain, which is definitely all of the above, LOL!!!!) One person starts and they pick a gift to open, and then the next person opens another gift, and they can either keep what they opened or "steal" and swap gifts with someone who already opened something better. It can be kind of amusing, but afterwards most everyone is left with junk which is kind of a pain...

What a horrid waste of money!! I'd rather go out and get something to spoil myself instead of some useless gag gift that will end up in the garbage!!!! Junk is right, manslayerliz!!!

free skin care · Wed Dec 13, 2006 11:31 am

I always used to working for large companies with mutlicultural staff so "Secret Santa" was never an issue because we just didn't have it. I am now working at a small company (only 6 of us) and they have a tradition of exchanging "SS" gifts. At first I thought "oh what a drag", but then I thought, well maybe it would be nice to exchange gifts. Because it's difficult to know what your coworkers are interested in, unless you are friends with them outside work, I suggested we all make a list of things we would actually want in the price range we set so at least none of us would waste our money on gifts the other person hated or just couldn't use. Part of me is still a bit disappointed about having to spend more money (my bills are always huge this time of year) but the other part of me is looking forward to receiving the CDs I requested. I must say that I haven't really been getting into the holiday spirit this year for some reason. Could be the warmer than usual temps, the surprising lack of snow, or the general feeling from those around me, but part of me just wishes the New Year would get here already. LOL

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