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Summary of Life
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vava_gurl
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Sun Feb 11, 2007 8:52 pm      Reply with quote
I received this from a friend today and just had to share it with you all. It holds much truth and many laughs!

Summary of Life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
Cool You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . . having a driver licence.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a driver licence.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.

PS.
Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.

Have a wonderful day with many *smiles*

Take the time to live!!!
Life is too short. Dance naked. Wink

Sharon x
Lisey
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Sun Feb 11, 2007 8:56 pm      Reply with quote
This is really cute. *smiles* Smile

6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

I always tend to SNEEZE, while getting my hair cut, NO MATTER WHAT!! Crying or Very sad

Thanks for sharing!



tam
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Sun Feb 11, 2007 9:07 pm      Reply with quote
Thank you for sharing this! So many of them are so funny! Laughing

I really liked "SUCCESS" at different ages. I have to send this to my grandmother; she' 98 years old and I know that it would make her laugh. Very Happy
vava_gurl
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Sun Feb 11, 2007 9:46 pm      Reply with quote
Thanks girls. Tam I sent this to my Nan who is 90 years young and she said she chuckled so hard that piddling her pants became secondary to her heart surviving the belly laugh!!
tam
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Sun Feb 11, 2007 10:24 pm      Reply with quote
vava_gurl wrote:
Thanks girls. Tam I sent this to my Nan who is 90 years young and she said she chuckled so hard that piddling her pants became secondary to her heart surviving the belly laugh!!


Laughing She's a cutie!
fifi
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Mon Feb 12, 2007 12:59 am      Reply with quote
That's so funny and cute - thank you for sharing!
majorb
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Mon Feb 12, 2007 11:14 am      Reply with quote
I love the Santa Claus one - although I do hope that I don't begin to resemble him as I get older. A white beard and moustache would look just a little strange on me. I could do the red outfit with white trim, though. Laughing
fishzebby
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Mon Feb 12, 2007 11:57 am      Reply with quote
Good advice!
skincarefreak
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Mon Feb 12, 2007 12:26 pm      Reply with quote
Too cute! Thanks!
vava_gurl
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Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:44 pm      Reply with quote
You're welcome girls!! Very Happy
mimiek
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Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:56 pm      Reply with quote
THANK YOU
o88odianao88o
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Mon Feb 12, 2007 2:33 pm      Reply with quote
Thanks! The Santa thing is great

Laughing


Quote:
PS.
Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.
I have to remind myself of this a lot!!
marci65
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Mon Feb 12, 2007 4:11 pm      Reply with quote
Very cute and true! Thanks for cheering me up after a really overbooked brain-stretching day. Very Happy
bears
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Tue Feb 13, 2007 2:34 pm      Reply with quote
I loved the Success one, very cute.
kalegr
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Wed Feb 14, 2007 1:46 pm      Reply with quote
Thanks for the laugh!
Mary H.
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Wed Feb 14, 2007 1:53 pm      Reply with quote
This is too funny! And I know from experience that all the "truths" pertaining to cats are completely valid... Laughing

Mary Very Happy

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vava_gurl
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Wed Feb 14, 2007 2:04 pm      Reply with quote
Mary H. wrote:
This is too funny! And I know from experience that all the "truths" pertaining to cats are completely valid... Laughing

Mary Very Happy


Mary please tell me you didnt try to babptise yoiur cat! Laughing
Mary H.
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Wed Feb 14, 2007 2:26 pm      Reply with quote
vava_gurl wrote:
Mary H. wrote:
This is too funny! And I know from experience that all the "truths" pertaining to cats are completely valid... Laughing

Mary Very Happy


Mary please tell me you didnt try to babptise yoiur cat! Laughing


No...but I did try to bathe her, which was probably worse because there was water AND soap involved! Shock Laughing

Mary Very Happy

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vava_gurl
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Wed Feb 14, 2007 2:31 pm      Reply with quote
Oh my goodness Laughing - I envisage it was not a pretty scene!!
Mary H.
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Wed Feb 14, 2007 2:39 pm      Reply with quote
vava_gurl wrote:
Oh my goodness Laughing - I envisage it was not a pretty scene!!


Yeah...most definitely NOT pretty! Laughing She howled like crazy, and I barely got her rinsed before she took off like a shot and hid under the bed for several hours. I felt horrible! Note to self: let cat do it's own grooming.

Mary Very Happy

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c4ward
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Wed Feb 14, 2007 4:30 pm      Reply with quote
These are great!! Thanks for sharing!

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