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Wed Mar 21, 2007 9:46 am  |
Common Sense
My parents told me about Mr. Common Sense early in my life and told me I would do well to call on him when making decisions. It seems he was always around in my early years but less and less as time passed until today I read his obituary.
Obituary - Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
Author unknown |
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Wed Mar 21, 2007 10:57 am |
| OMG!!!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I so needed to read this. I work in the school system and it is soooo true. We are teaching these children not take responsibility for anything. I don't understand how this is going to help these children be effective adults. They are actually hurting their kids. Worst of all it is teaching these kids how to use people to get their own way. I could go on and on with this, but I'll only get myself upset. |
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Wed Mar 21, 2007 11:14 am |
Thank You, doba! This will probably distress some of the younger parents but, back in the day, it was perfectly acceptable to discipline children in school and, yes, even to spank them on their well-cushioned backsides occasionally. My parents and qrandparents actually turned out pretty well because of this "attention-getting" mechanism. Actually, come to think of it, so did I. I got a "paddling" regularly in the 5th grade for chasing a brahma bull at recess.
Mom & Dad had a simple rule: Get spanked in school, get one when you get home. THEN, I'll ask you why you got spanked in school. (Smart enough not to tell my mom about the brahma bull-chasing until I was 19. LOL)
Seriously though, my parents were "big" on accepting responsibility and the consequences of your own actions. Everytime I see a 14-year old screaming at her mom in the mall (and her mom just taking it) I want to smack both of them--mom for not taking care of the problem when the daughter was 4 and the kid for disrespecting her mom! No, I'm not a violent person but I can just "see" this person at 30 and thinking that somebody somewhere owes her!
OMG! Sorry, climbing down from my soapbox now.
Ari |
_________________
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "Oh Crap, She's up!" Unknown |
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Wed Mar 21, 2007 12:48 pm |
| My tag line fits in this topic kinda/sorta. It was created 7 years ago when my stepson decided to trade in a comfortable life for the devil (meth), and hasn't taken responsibility for his actions to this day. So many people live by the rule "it's not my fault". Or, "my parents are so stupid they surely will pick of the pieces and fix it for me". WRONG!!!!!!! |
_________________
The best way to locate your cat is to open a can of food. |
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Wed Mar 21, 2007 1:19 pm |
| Arielle wrote: |
Thank You, doba! This will probably distress some of the younger parents but, back in the day, it was perfectly acceptable to discipline children in school and, yes, even to spank them on their well-cushioned backsides occasionally. My parents and qrandparents actually turned out pretty well because of this "attention-getting" mechanism. Actually, come to think of it, so did I. I got a "paddling" regularly in the 5th grade for chasing a brahma bull at recess.
Mom & Dad had a simple rule: Get spanked in school, get one when you get home. THEN, I'll ask you why you got spanked in school. (Smart enough not to tell my mom about the brahma bull-chasing until I was 19. LOL)
Seriously though, my parents were "big" on accepting responsibility and the consequences of your own actions. Everytime I see a 14-year old screaming at her mom in the mall (and her mom just taking it) I want to smack both of them--mom for not taking care of the problem when the daughter was 4 and the kid for disrespecting her mom! No, I'm not a violent person but I can just "see" this person at 30 and thinking that somebody somewhere owes her!
OMG! Sorry, climbing down from my soapbox now.
Ari |
Well said! It does start out when they are very young. If parents don't nip it in the bud early on; it can have disastrous consequences. I've always thought one of the cardinal rules of parenting is that you empower them when they are infants, but then you begin to depower them when they hit there terrible twos and begin to say no. Children need to know that they are children and parents need to know that they have a responsibility to teach their child how to grow into being a responsible adult. Giving them what they want and trying to make things easy for them all the time won't teach them that life is a give and take.(sigh) I think it's well too obvious that this is a topic I feel very strong about. |
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Wed Mar 21, 2007 1:39 pm |
| doba wrote: |
Common Sense
My parents told me about Mr. Common Sense early in my life and told me I would do well to call on him when making decisions. It seems he was always around in my early years but less and less as time passed until today I read his obituary.
Obituary - Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
Author unknown |
learn a lot |
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Wed Mar 21, 2007 2:16 pm |
| Thankyou Doba for posting this. Sometimes I want to scream when I'm dealing with authorities because there is so much red tape and political correctness, it's crazy. Life could be so much easier if people were allowed to use their God given common sense. Trouble is everyone is scared of being sued or prosecuted so it goes on and on until NOTHING makes any sense anymore. |
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Wed Mar 21, 2007 2:35 pm |
Makes me nuts when I see parents negotiating with toddlers.
And parents who will not enforce reasonable consistent discipline and guidance from the start, but think they can clamp down much later. Too late! |
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Wed Mar 21, 2007 3:17 pm |
| Arielle wrote: |
Thank You, doba! This will probably distress some of the younger parents but, back in the day, it was perfectly acceptable to discipline children in school and, yes, even to spank them on their well-cushioned backsides occasionally. My parents and qrandparents actually turned out pretty well because of this "attention-getting" mechanism. Actually, come to think of it, so did I. I got a "paddling" regularly in the 5th grade for chasing a brahma bull at recess.
Mom & Dad had a simple rule: Get spanked in school, get one when you get home. THEN, I'll ask you why you got spanked in school. (Smart enough not to tell my mom about the brahma bull-chasing until I was 19. LOL)
Seriously though, my parents were "big" on accepting responsibility and the consequences of your own actions. Everytime I see a 14-year old screaming at her mom in the mall (and her mom just taking it) I want to smack both of them--mom for not taking care of the problem when the daughter was 4 and the kid for disrespecting her mom! No, I'm not a violent person but I can just "see" this person at 30 and thinking that somebody somewhere owes her!
OMG! Sorry, climbing down from my soapbox now.
Ari |
Go, Ari!!  You're not on a soapbox...just making "common sense"!  I don't even have kids, but I feel the same way when I see a kid/teenager going off on their parent in public. Sure, I had my moments of mouthing off...but nothing like what I see today. And there is no WAY I could've gotten away with calling my mom "stupid" or telling her to "F--- off" like I see some of these kids do (one of my own nieces is a horror show in that respect).
Anyway...well said! And Doba, thanks so much for posting this! I'm going to share it with many family members and friends!
Mary  |
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43, Confirmed desert rat (Scottsdale, AZ), animal lover (3 kitties and a pup) and hopeless product junkie (I blame EDS...lol!) |
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Wed Mar 21, 2007 3:20 pm |
| Thank you, Mary. My folks were strict but not abusive. But if I had ever talked back to either one of them, even in private much less publicly, I'd STILL be circling this earth like a balloon losing air! |
_________________
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "Oh Crap, She's up!" Unknown |
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Wed Mar 21, 2007 3:42 pm |
| Ah, common sense. Not as common as we'd like to think, unfortunately. |
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Global Butterfly & Certified Aromatherapist/Holisitc Therapist with a passion for travel and natural health.  |
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Wed Mar 21, 2007 5:10 pm |
i miss common sense  never see it around nowadays |
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Wed Mar 21, 2007 5:12 pm |
| Great read! Now only if everyone would use their common sense, the world would be a much better place to live. |
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Wed Mar 21, 2007 6:25 pm |
| cedar wrote: |
Makes me nuts when I see parents negotiating with toddlers.
And parents who will not enforce reasonable consistent discipline and guidance from the start, but think they can clamp down much later. Too late! |
OMG...too funny that you posted this! One of my nieces (mentioned her in the other post) was "negotiated with" from an early age. There was never a mandated "you WILL do this, because I say so" about ANYTHING. I'm not saying you have to rule with an iron fist 24/7...but at the end of the day, you're the parent and what you say goes (at least that's how it worked with me and my Mom!). My niece is now 13, and is selfish, mouthy, unappreciative and rude.
And like you said, Cedar...it's a hopeless case when the parents try to clamp down in later years. Whenever they try to get my niece to do something it falls on deaf ears...unless they bribe her with something she wants. She can't even take responsibility for keeping her room clean! But what do these whipped parents do? They hire one of those room organizer people to the tune of $5,000 to clean up and re-organize her bedrorom for her. They actually said with a straight face that my niece could not clean her room because she was so "overwhelmed" by how disorganized everything was, and she was too "intimidated" to begin tackling the mess all by herself. I can just see me back in the day, telling my mom that I was too emotionally fragile to clean my room. She would've laughed me right out of the house...and rightly so!! 
Mary |
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43, Confirmed desert rat (Scottsdale, AZ), animal lover (3 kitties and a pup) and hopeless product junkie (I blame EDS...lol!) |
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Wed Mar 21, 2007 6:29 pm |
| Arielle wrote: |
| Thank you, Mary. My folks were strict but not abusive. But if I had ever talked back to either one of them, even in private much less publicly, I'd STILL be circling this earth like a balloon losing air! |
"Circling the earth like a baloon losing air"...LMAO! What a great description! My parents were like yours...strict, but in no way abusive. In fact, I remember a few instances when I ventured forth with "back talk" that would be considered tame nowadays...and let's just say that the "circling baloon" thing definitely applied!
Mary |
_________________
43, Confirmed desert rat (Scottsdale, AZ), animal lover (3 kitties and a pup) and hopeless product junkie (I blame EDS...lol!) |
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Wed Mar 21, 2007 6:43 pm |
| LMAO...I think I did circle the earth just once.....I ummmmm was the horrible 13 yr old, she finally had to squish like a bug!!! Now I am just perfect thanks to that moment... |
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Wed Mar 21, 2007 6:52 pm |
Amazing what an attitude adjustment will do, huh? When I look back....
I remember once, when I was about 13, my dad told me to shut up 'cuz, boy, could I harangue when I got on a subject. I told him that I was guaranteed "free speech" under the constitution. He proceeded to inform me that, since I couldn't vote yet, I had no rights under the constitution.
He then said, "You know, before we had you, your mother and I really wanted children. (loooong pause) Young lady, your only job in this world right now is to be worth the wantin'."
I lost them only 10 weeks apart when I was just 28. I really miss them! |
_________________
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "Oh Crap, She's up!" Unknown |
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Wed Mar 21, 2007 6:57 pm |
| Arielle wrote: |
Amazing what an attitude adjustment will do, huh? When I look back....
I remember once, when I was about 13, my dad told me to shut up 'cuz, boy, could I harangue when I got on a subject. I told him that I was guaranteed "free speech" under the constitution. He proceeded to inform me that, since I couldn't vote yet, I had no rights under the constitution.
He then said, "You know, before we had you, your mother and I really wanted children. (loooong pause) Young lady, your only job in this world right now is to be worth the wantin'."
I lost them only 10 weeks apart when I was just 28. I really miss them! |
awww sry to hear that, I too lost mine a few months apart..its hard...its very very very hard. hugs dear |
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Wed Mar 21, 2007 7:28 pm |
I'm sorry to hear you lost your folks, too, Mel. It is hard.
Wow, I've now lived half my life without them.
If kids today could somehow be made to understand what that is going to feel like, I think they'd appreciate their parents more. |
_________________
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "Oh Crap, She's up!" Unknown |
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Thu Mar 22, 2007 7:19 am |
| Arielle wrote: |
I'm sorry to hear you lost your folks, too, Mel. It is hard.
Wow, I've now lived half my life without them.
If kids today could somehow be made to understand what that is going to feel like, I think they'd appreciate their parents more. |
Ari and Mel...so sorry to hear about losing your parents.  Thankfully, Dad is still alive and well (will be 70 this year!), but Mom passed away on Christmas day in 1999. I'm very glad for the time we had together, but I still do miss her! And you're right, Ari...it's so important to appreciate your parents while they are here.
Mary |
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43, Confirmed desert rat (Scottsdale, AZ), animal lover (3 kitties and a pup) and hopeless product junkie (I blame EDS...lol!) |
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Thu Mar 22, 2007 7:52 am |
| Arielle wrote: |
Amazing what an attitude adjustment will do, huh? When I look back....
I remember once, when I was about 13, my dad told me to shut up 'cuz, boy, could I harangue when I got on a subject. I told him that I was guaranteed "free speech" under the constitution. He proceeded to inform me that, since I couldn't vote yet, I had no rights under the constitution.
He then said, "You know, before we had you, your mother and I really wanted children. (loooong pause) Young lady, your only job in this world right now is to be worth the wantin'."
I lost them only 10 weeks apart when I was just 28. I really miss them! |
Oh my gosh, Ari, I have to say I laughed out loud when I read what your dad said to you. That was priceless.
I'm so sorry you lost them that young. That had to be terrible. ((Hugs)) |
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