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Fri Apr 13, 2007 6:17 pm  |
I'm so utterly sad right now, and I just need to get it out.
As many of you know, I'm an archaeologist by trade. Here in the desert southwest, we clear out the archaeological remains before development. Some get angry with us, claiming we are helping development and destroying nature. Others tell us we are doing good, as development is inevitable and at least we are trying to save the past with some hope for the future.
It's hard work, it's back breaking work, it's rewarding, yet tiring. And sometimes it'll break your heart.
We are currently doing a project down in Bisbee, a mining town rich in history. We are surveying near the mine, and have been out there for two weeks. I have not been out there yet, but lately it's been business as usual until yesterday.
The team, comprised of three of my coworkers were surveying, when one of them spotted a backpack and a water bottle. This is nothing new in southern AZ, it is common to come across these things in the desert as we are in a high traffic area for undocumented people who cross the border.
They were working less than a mile from the border. He photographed the backpack and water bottle and then walked around a bit...then he spotted a shoe...
soon he began to realize what he was seeing. The remains of a person were strewn everywhere.
She is nothing but bones at this point...the animals had gotten to her so her remains were scattered over several square meters. We know where she died, because there is an impression in the ground where she lay for days. How do I know it's a woman? They found her identification card. She was my age, 27 and was from southern Mexico, further south than Mexico City. She was found 500 yards from a road and just a little bit farther than that from some houses.
Because of her proximity to habitation, it is believed she did not die from exposure to the elements (you usually get this way out in the desert, miles and miles from the closest town or house).
What they believe happened is that she paid someone to cross the border, like many do...probably paid a couple thousand for a human smuggler to bring her over. You can see Mexico from the place where she died. Chances are the people that brought her over murdered her once they got across the border. Or perhaps the people she was traveling with were the culprits. Regardless, she was NOT alone when she crossed the border, none of them ever are.
Here I am at 27, worried about my Arabic test, my thesis, the fact that I have a breakout on my face from stress, or that my stupid hoola hoop hasn't shown up yet in the mail. But I have a roof over my head, money to live off of, the ability to work and enjoy a country that, while not perfect, allows me freedoms and joys that others don't necessarily have. And here is this woman, in life she was beautiful, but her life so terrible she felt the need to travel thousands of miles from home, to try to live a new life, to perhaps send money back to her family in Mexico once she got a job over here, only to have her life end less than a mile from where she thought her life would finally begin. And to see what became of her after death, to know that her family has no idea, that her family may NEVER know because the U.S. government may never bother to notify Mexican authorities, or perhaps the Mexican govmt. will not bother to contact her family. (Again, sadly, quite common).
One of the guys copied down the phone number from her ID card...but the card is so old (1999) that who knows if her family is still at that number. She's been dead probably around a year or so, considering the condition of her remains. With just a simple twist of fate, I could have been born in another country to the same conditions this woman was experiencing. Who am I to complain about such trivial matters. I can't express how just utterly empty I feel. I see this woman's face in my head...I think about her family, what she went through to get here, what she said to the last people to see her alive. What did she feel when she knew it was all over? Did she ever see it coming?
I see these stories on the news all the time, but for it to hit so close to home, it's unreal.
Please remember what's really important...LIFE and those around you. Your family, friends, and appreciate the good things you have. The things that this dear woman will never experience, but the things that she so longed to have in her own life. |
_________________
32, Fair Skin, combo/break-out prone. Simple routine of REN No. 1 Purity Cleansing Balm and Argan oil as a moisturizer; Clarisonic when needed. That's it! |
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Fri Apr 13, 2007 6:36 pm |
Such a tragic ending to a life of hope and anticipation for a better future  Sadly this sort of thing is not at all uncommon throughout the world, but your post does bring everything that's truly important into perspective ParisTroika. Here we are on this forum moaning about our zits, wrinkles, eye bags, sagging skin - pffff! How trivial can we be 
That's not to say we won't post about ^^ them anymore  |
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Fri Apr 13, 2007 7:10 pm |
| Very well said, count ones blessings, you'll find you have alot! |
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Fri Apr 13, 2007 8:48 pm |
I don't believe we should discredit our concerns in life...at least the big things: illness, death, family.
It's just sad how easily I've lost perspective...and what it takes for me to realize what's important.
That said, though I only see your screen names, and I might know a few of you by real names, I appreciate the friends I've made here on EDS. You guys mean a lot to me. I know we talk about skincare and makeup and the like, but I wake up each and every morning looking forward to corresponding with you all.
You guys brighten my day...and that's important. Not WHAT we talk about...but that we TALK. The fact that we are connecting with each other, getting to know each other, helping each other. Yeah, in the long run, skincare and makeup don't really matter compared to the people you meet, but the fact that I connected with others, even though it's over the computer, makes a difference.
That's what is important...connecting. That's what makes us human beings. |
_________________
32, Fair Skin, combo/break-out prone. Simple routine of REN No. 1 Purity Cleansing Balm and Argan oil as a moisturizer; Clarisonic when needed. That's it! |
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Fri Apr 13, 2007 11:37 pm |
Very sad.I feel for the poor girl and her family.
You are right we must remember to count our blessings and take time to appreciate what we have. That doesn't stop me from moaning about trivial stuff but I also take time to think about how lucky I am.
It is great that we have each other on here to chat to and moan at and get support in times of need. |
_________________
50, happy reluma user started 16.6.12 original formula. PMD user. started LouLou's ageless regime. |
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Sat Apr 14, 2007 8:02 am |
| ParisTroika wrote: |
I don't believe we should discredit our concerns in life...at least the big things: illness, death, family.
It's just sad how easily I've lost perspective...and what it takes for me to realize what's important.
That said, though I only see your screen names, and I might know a few of you by real names, I appreciate the friends I've made here on EDS. You guys mean a lot to me. I know we talk about skincare and makeup and the like, but I wake up each and every morning looking forward to corresponding with you all.
You guys brighten my day...and that's important. Not WHAT we talk about...but that we TALK. The fact that we are connecting with each other, getting to know each other, helping each other. Yeah, in the long run, skincare and makeup don't really matter compared to the people you meet, but the fact that I connected with others, even though it's over the computer, makes a difference.
That's what is important...connecting. That's what makes us human beings. |
I agree. Connecting with others is what makes us feel more alive. Being able to express ourselves and to find others who may share our point of view and perspective helps validate our own beliefs and our selves. Yes, these may all just be words on a screen from faceless strangers, but they help bring us closer together and shorten distances. Through words we make connections, which may lead to finding those of kindred spirit, which may result in lasting friendships. As surreal as it all may seem, it IS possible.
Thank you for sharing your tragic story with us Paris. It helps us all to keep things in perspective and realize we have so many blessings in our lives. A reminder we should keep with us evry day. |
_________________
Global Butterfly & Certified Aromatherapist/Holisitc Therapist with a passion for travel and natural health.  |
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Sat Apr 14, 2007 8:26 am |
Wow. I don't even know what to say. Thanks for sharing that with us, Paris. You have a very powerful gift of expression. I'm recovering right now from surgery to my spine and, frankly, I've been feeling pretty sorry for myself....Thanks for reminding me just how fortunate I am.
Puds |
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Sat Apr 14, 2007 8:49 am |
When I saw that you are an archaeologist I thought WOW this is going to be a really cool post. Archaeology was my first love 
But as I read on it was soo hard not to cry Another good reason to tighten our boarder. |
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Sat Apr 14, 2007 8:59 am |
| Poor thing. There are so many evil people out there. You never know. |
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Sat Apr 14, 2007 9:41 am |
I'm so glad that your colleague noted her details and hope he will be able to contact her family. The uncertainty must be unbearable for them. They surely must have guessed that she didn't make it, but were probably too afraid and unable to do anything much about it.
How very humbling.
I too wanted to become an archaeologist, to feel a connection with and gain knowledge of those who have gone before us. Without you and your colleagues, she would have been left there and forgotten by all but her family. |
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Sat Apr 14, 2007 11:35 am |
Paris, thank you for writing such a thoughtful reflection on what happened. It is terrible. Let us know if you are able to do anuthing more about reaching or informing her family.
Hopefully you can carry this sort-of twin-sister with you as you go and always stay mindful of the things you reflected on here. - and maintain a "bigger" perspective than you sometimes might have otherwise. If you end up traveling to places where you need to use your Arabic, you will see more things that jolt your mindset like this too. (BTW I envy your studying Arabic so much...)
I hope you feel better soon and get through your burdens, both serious and trivial. Thank you again for giving others an opportunity to reflect also. |
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Sat Apr 14, 2007 2:10 pm |
Despite her tragic death, the fact that her plight caused you to come to the perspective you expressed here, serves as a wonderful tribute to her admittedly short life.
In a way that is almost tangible, she gave you a precious gift, and you returned one to her. |
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Sat Apr 14, 2007 3:00 pm |
| Thank you for that post. We all need a reality check to put things in prespective once in awhile. What's sad but true is that it is only a matter of time before people forget the lesson all over again until you see the next tragedy- it's only human nature unless you make the concious effort everyday to count our blessings and love (verb) the people we love. |
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Sat Apr 14, 2007 4:24 pm |
| Paris, thank you for sharing that story and expressing your thoughts so beautifully & touchingly . And for reminding us not to take our good fortune for granted. |
_________________
45, combo skin not sensitive, dark undereye circles - have resigned myself to perfecting concealer application |
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Sat Apr 14, 2007 6:49 pm |
Such a sad story.  I'm glad that someone finally found her so that she is now known ... maybe wherever she is, she'll know that there are some kind souls who do care and are telling her story. |
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Sat Apr 14, 2007 11:59 pm |
| I don't know what to say except this really upset me.I really feel for her family and what a tragic waste of a life. |
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