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Fri Jun 06, 2008 8:47 am  |
I am recently divorced, finally back on the dating scene after the last 2 years of being home alone with the kids and depressed. I am now dating, and my question is how young do you think is too young. I am 38, but have heard that I look about 33.
I am dating 2 men, one is 29, and one is 25. I am having fun again, and I dont want a husband, or serious relationship, I just want to have fun dating, and have some male company once in a while. I only have every other weekend to date anyway. Is this just wrong??? They are both mature, and I really don't FEEL like they are that young when I am with them. They seem to be mature enough for me.
What do you girls think???? |
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Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:20 am |
I am 44 and my husband is 29 so you can guess my reply. The fact that you have children makes it a more serious matter who you date and bring into their lives, but if all you want is to date someone casually when the kids are away then age shouldn't make that much of a difference.
Go for it, life is short, have fun!!! |
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Fri Jun 06, 2008 10:00 am |
Well that makes me feel better! For some reason, part of me feels like I am doing something wrong (especially with the 25 yr. old) but NO I don't introduce anyone I am dating to my kids, that is a NO NO.
It's just finally having fun after 8 miserable years of marraige! |
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Fri Jun 06, 2008 10:28 am |
I think more important than the age, is that you enjoy one another's company and have fun. Especially after going through a divorce, it's hard putting your life back together and a good time to have the company of those you enjoy. You sound like you have a balanced perspective of starting your life over including not involving your children in this type of new experience, when they probably need life to stabilize for a while.
Good luck! |
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Fri Jun 06, 2008 2:11 pm |
That makes me feel better, I don't know why I think it's wierd, there is such a double standard! If I were the older man, there would be no issue.
But b/c Im a woman, there is a stigma.
The truth is that it is really hard to find single guys in their 30's! Plus, I have to admit I like them younger, they are usually more fit, more fun, and cuter!!! |
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Fri Jun 06, 2008 6:54 pm |
Just make sure they're not jailbait amylola 
My b/f is 14 years younger than I am, so you know I'm all in favour of dating younger men. Our relationship has lasted 17 years, longer than both my marriages combined 
Go for it and have fun! |
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Fri Jun 06, 2008 7:20 pm |
| No anya, I think 25 is the youngest I would go. Seriously, I didnt even think I would date them that young, but this one is just too hot to pass up! |
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Sat Jun 07, 2008 8:08 am |
| I think that's totally fine! Once they're over 21, they can date whoever they want! Really 25 and 29 aren't too young at all. I know it's cliche, but imagine a man being worried about dating a 29 or 25 year old woman- it wouldn't cause any comment at all! |
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Sat Jun 07, 2008 10:48 am |
Oooohhhh. My favorite topic!
This is the last frontier for dating -- the "appropriateness" of older woman/younger man together.
I'm happy to be a "pioneer" in this movement. It only makes sense, I don't know why it's been the last pairing to be accepted. Men die younger. Maybe together, we can live a long life, instead of the woman being alone the last 20 years.
I've got a crush on a man 20 years younger than me. We flirt outrageously at work. It is one of the perks. Last weekend I met a man 22 years younger who I had an instant connection with.
They call us "cougars" now. Which I didn't like at first, but after talking to several young men, I know now that older women are called that not because we are predatory, but because we are exotic and hot and hard to catch. I can dig that.
And good GOD, if you're just out to have fun -- then HAVE it! Do you cut off your potential friends at a certain age? I don't. One of my best friends is 29. My roommate is 27 and a guy. He'd LOVE it if I agreed to a relationship.
But I like to watch him stumble around with his 20-somethings. It makes me feel older and wiser. We have terrific fun trading stories.
He is miserable much more often than I am. |
_________________
tenderlovingwork.com, astonishing handmade gifts |
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Sun Jun 08, 2008 12:57 pm |
Yes, and we are called Cougars now. Older woman/younger man. edit: OOPS! Sidda I didn't read your post before jumping in here...sorry!
My husband is 13 years younger than I am, which gives me the incentive to stay young-thinking and -acting, if not -looking all the time.
It takes an exceptionally mature younger man to interest me, and the baby/no baby issues have to be dealt with straight off the bat. 32 seems to be the magic number for me. Any younger and they're just too silly and angst-ridden. Course there's always that exception. |
_________________
✪ My go-to products: MyFawnie.BigCartel.com ✪ |
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Mon Jun 09, 2008 6:35 am |
Well my husband was 8 years younger, yes we are divorced, but were together 15 years - and age was not the issue - he was just a b*****  |
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Wed Jun 11, 2008 2:56 pm |
I think 16 years, I.e. he's old enough to be your (young) father or he's young enough to be your son.
Go for it!!! |
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Wed Jun 11, 2008 8:09 pm |
I disagree (obviously). 16 years/pseudo parenthood images is just as random as any other number.
It comes down to personalities and is totally subjective. I once met a woman in her 60s whose husband was in his 20s. They adored each other. Say what you wish about it being a weird relationship or some neurotic replacement for a parent or grandparent, but the reality is, if it works for them, it is no one else's bidness. If we all could be so lucky as to take care, true and deep care, of one person each, the world would be much better off. Wherever and however you find that one person, hunker down and be grateful.
Or, in the OP case, just have a buncha fun. |
_________________
tenderlovingwork.com, astonishing handmade gifts |
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Wed Jun 11, 2008 8:22 pm |
Couldn't agree more Sidda  Age is just a number and means absolutely nothing when two people find each other and they just 'match'. I firmly believe (in my case), that it was just meant to be. We fulfill each other's needs and although to outsiders our relationship might seem odd, it's been a darn sight more successful and enduring than most marriages I know of. |
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Mon Jun 16, 2008 10:55 am |
| I don't think that age is a big issue. You also mentioned that you aren't looking for anything serious, and I think guys in their twenties are perfect for this since many of them are "commitment-phobic." haha! |
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Mon Jun 16, 2008 10:01 pm |
i say go for it girl!
Men have been dating much younger women since forever... so why can't women do it too! |
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Late 20's, clarisonic, Vit C serum, hormonal acne, congested pores, combination skin, living in Vancouver Canada |
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Wed Jun 18, 2008 12:05 pm |
| Well the 25 year old ditched me when I didnt sleep with him on the first date, so that one is done. I like younger guys, but boy are they immature and hard to figure out. I don't like playing games. Guess I gotta go out this weekend, and try to find a new one!! |
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Mon Jun 23, 2008 11:09 pm |
Just out of curiosity, how do you ladies feel about Linda Hogan (4 and her bf (19)...Is that too much of an age difference? Considering her children are about his age or a year or two younger...I know I just had to mention the Hogans....Sorry, I'm just wondering what everyone's opinion is...IMO, I think it's too young... |
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Mon Jun 23, 2008 11:10 pm |
| Oh my 8 looks like a cool face, I meant she's 48! |
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Mon Aug 11, 2008 6:10 pm |
Part of what made me start looking so in depth for the fountain of youth and caused me to run across this wonderful bunch of ladies is I am 10 years older than my husband. He is 30 and I'm 40.
This 40th b-day just a few weeks ago has really hit me hard and made me start "really" caring about how old I look. Most people think I'm 35 but these bags under my eyes have just recently became a problem. I don't mind growing old, just looking old.
I would have never considered a younger man (my ex is 13 years older than me) but we just hit it off, and man oh man did he persue!
What I'm saying is I don't think age really matters as long as you both are on the same spirtual, and energy level.
. |
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Mon Aug 11, 2008 7:22 pm |
kj68
Well said! And you've come to the right place for ways to keep looking fab!
fawnie |
_________________
✪ My go-to products: MyFawnie.BigCartel.com ✪ |
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Fri Aug 15, 2008 12:18 pm |
| gellys wrote: |
| Just out of curiosity, how do you ladies feel about Linda Hogan (4 and her bf (19)...Is that too much of an age difference? Considering her children are about his age or a year or two younger...I know I just had to mention the Hogans....Sorry, I'm just wondering what everyone's opinion is...IMO, I think it's too young... |
My mother is 48. I am 23. If my mother dated someone younger than me, I really think our relationship would be damaged for a very long time. First, there is no 19 year old on Earth that has the maturity, responsibility and intelligence to carry on a relationship with a 48 year old educated mother of two. Second, if she was just looking for a fling... eeww!! I don't want to hear about it, especially when he's younger than me. You know this kid would just be bragging to his friends about the "cougar" he got with. Third, I would question her sanity and consideration for her own children.
And consider this - Linda Hogan is a celebrity and her relationship with her younger boyfriend is major tabloid fodder. Imagine being her 22 year old daughter Brooke and having reporters ask you about your "cougar" mother dating someone younger than you. I couldn't handle it. |
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Sun Aug 24, 2008 1:59 pm |
| Hi! Good to know there are other ladies to identify with out there. I'm 54 and seeing 2 men ages 45 and 39. They both persued me and I'm glad they did. I think younger men appreciate us more. I take care of myself and people tell me I look 45-48 years old. |
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Tue Aug 26, 2008 5:56 am |
Sidda,
You seem like someone I could be friends with. I am 54, think and feel like I am in my 30's and look like I am in my mid 40's. I am currently seeing a man who is 39 and until very recently was seeing a man who was 45 for 3 years. Both men persued me as I had never before thought that a younger man would be interested in me. When I am with them they make me feel young and desired. It,s great!
I take care of myself by eating healthy and excersing, also I am not opposed to using botox, lasers and fillers to help me look my best. Do you do anything to keep yourself looking and feeling like the person you feel inside?
Reply to Amylola, you say you are 38 and look 33, that,s great, but be careful about dating men younger than 30. I think most men under 30 still think like a teenager. |
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Sat Aug 30, 2008 9:13 am |
| I agree, I am having issues with dating guys under 30, they are just so flaky, and don't understand planning out things. I am a mom of 2 and only have every other weekend to do stuff, so I need to plan dates, etc, and it is frustrating to deal with men that just want to call you that day. I am starting to get frustrated with the whole dating thing. |
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