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Tue Dec 16, 2008 6:20 pm  |
This is a riot. It is long but it's good. At the end he also talks about Christmas Lights. This guy just has a way with words.
Edited to add the site, DUH
http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/198/19347/ |
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The best way to locate your cat is to open a can of food. |
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Mabsy
Moderator
 
Joined: 17 Aug 2003
Posts: 9644
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Tue Dec 16, 2008 8:22 pm |
 I love this line:
"I mean, I don't know what the appropriate percentage of your salary that's supposed to go to facial cleansers is, but I know I'm above it." |
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45, NW20, combination skin |
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Tue Dec 16, 2008 9:09 pm |
This was a riot! Thanks for posting the link, Frodo. I'm printing that for my husband and son to read!  |
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Wed Dec 17, 2008 12:00 am |
This was CLASSIC!!
There were so many good lines in there...I can just see a guy thinking this:
Last night like 35 minutes later after closing the door, she's still in. I'm like, what are you doing? Go to sleep! "I'm washing my face." How long does it take you to wash your face? I swear I think she's counting her hair. I think she's like, "One, two, three, four..." what are you doing! Turn off the lights! |
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No longer answering PM's due to numerous weird messages. |
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Wed Dec 17, 2008 6:59 am |
Well, yes, maybe we do take a long time to wash our faces - but at least it's productive - it's all part of a ritual that we go through in order to feel and look good.
What I want to know is why men take so long to go to the toilet? Every morning, I get the urge - do what's necessary, 3 mins later I'm out. Men, on the other hand, are incapable of carrying out this normal bodily function in a modicum of time - they need reading material and proceed to sit there for hours.  |
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Wed Dec 17, 2008 7:01 am |
| Keliu wrote: |
| What I want to know is why men take so long to go to the toilet? Every morning, I get the urge - do what's necessary, 3 mins later I'm out. Men, on the other hand, are incapable of carrying out this normal bodily function in a modicum of time - they need reading material and proceed to sit there for hours. |
Too funny! I thought I was the only one with a man like that. I am so happy to know I am not alone! |
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Wed Dec 17, 2008 5:40 pm |
| rileygirl wrote: |
| Keliu wrote: |
| What I want to know is why men take so long to go to the toilet? Every morning, I get the urge - do what's necessary, 3 mins later I'm out. Men, on the other hand, are incapable of carrying out this normal bodily function in a modicum of time - they need reading material and proceed to sit there for hours. |
Too funny! I thought I was the only one with a man like that. I am so happy to know I am not alone! |
Yeah! Come to think of it..........
Ah well, I guess it's just one of those Man Things. Who knows what THEY are counting in there!! |
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✪ My go-to products: MyFawnie.BigCartel.com ✪ |
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Wed Dec 17, 2008 7:12 pm |
| Keliu wrote: |
| What I want to know is why men take so long to go to the toilet? Every morning, I get the urge - do what's necessary, 3 mins later I'm out. Men, on the other hand, are incapable of carrying out this normal bodily function in a modicum of time - they need reading material and proceed to sit there for hours. |
I had to laugh when I read that, because I have one of those at home too. I read this to DH and he said "Well if I was just pushing out rabbit turds I could be out in 3 mins too". |
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Wed Dec 17, 2008 7:37 pm |
| Diana P wrote: |
| I read this to DH and he said "Well if I was just pushing out rabbit turds I could be out in 3 mins too". |
See, everything they do is just so much more difficult isn't it? Tell him to start eating rabbit food (salads) and then maybe he'd find things much easier! |
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Wed Dec 17, 2008 7:54 pm |
| Keliu wrote: |
| What I want to know is why men take so long to go to the toilet? Every morning, I get the urge - do what's necessary, 3 mins later I'm out. Men, on the other hand, are incapable of carrying out this normal bodily function in a modicum of time - they need reading material and proceed to sit there for hours. |
What kills me is that they are sitting in there marinating in the poop stink while they read...how can they do that?? 
Of course I once broke up with someone who lived to fart constantly, and just could NOT understand why I failed to see why farting was SO underrated. |
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No longer answering PM's due to numerous weird messages. |
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Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:45 pm |
| deleted, messed up on doing a quote |
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The best way to locate your cat is to open a can of food. |
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Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:48 pm |
| bethany wrote: |
| Keliu wrote: |
| What I want to know is why men take so long to go to the toilet? Every morning, I get the urge - do what's necessary, 3 mins later I'm out. Men, on the other hand, are incapable of carrying out this normal bodily function in a modicum of time - they need reading material and proceed to sit there for hours. |
What kills me is that they are sitting in there marinating in the poop stink while they read...how can they do that??
Of course I once broke up with someone who lived to fart constantly, and just could NOT understand why I failed to see why farting was SO underrated. |
I'm laughing so hard my sides hurt. We went from women washing their face to boyfriend farting. |
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The best way to locate your cat is to open a can of food. |
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Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:52 pm |
| Frodo wrote: |
| I'm laughing so hard my sides hurt. We went from women washing their face to boyfriend farting. |
They're related...we both think the opposite sex has lost their mind! |
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No longer answering PM's due to numerous weird messages. |
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Wed Dec 17, 2008 11:56 pm |
| Well, I spat out two children in less time than my husband takes to have a s**t! |
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Thu Dec 18, 2008 4:49 pm |
| Keliu wrote: |
| Well, I spat out two children in less time than my husband takes to have a s**t! |
Oh! You are too much! A doctor I worked with once tried to explain childbirth to a man: "It's like sh!tting a watermelon." And no wonder it takes them so long! |
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✪ My go-to products: MyFawnie.BigCartel.com ✪ |
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