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Mon May 26, 2008 9:51 pm  |
Hi,
a few days ago I went with my new friend/acquaintance from work to buy some plants at Botanical garden. We also decided to walk around as they have a very beautiful and big park. I put plenty of sunblock and added more every hour, but my skin is very fair and sensitive to the sun and I started to feel that my skin is burning. I had an umbrella with me, so I decided to open it. As soon as I open my umbrella, my friend asked me why. I explained, but she said to me it is not normal and people will think that I am crazy. I remind her that we saw a few people walking with umbrellas at this park and nobody look at them as they were crazy. Then my friend said that she doesn't want to walk with me if I don't close my umbrella because she think it is embarrassing for her. She got really angry and started to yell at me. I said to her that she is acting not normal and I don't want to continue our relationship. I walked away from her.
I was walking and tears just started to fall down. I usually cry very rare, but this time I couldn't stop.
Is it really embarrassing to use umbrella against sun? |
_________________
Blond, blue eyes.Skin: Normal, sometimes oily, during winter very dry. Very sensitive. Occasional breakouts. Very fair. |
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Tue May 27, 2008 12:23 am |
| Lara1 wrote: |
Hi,
a few days ago I went with my new friend/acquaintance from work to buy some plants at Botanical garden. We also decided to walk around as they have a very beautiful and big park. I put plenty of sunblock and added more every hour, but my skin is very fair and sensitive to the sun and I started to feel that my skin is burning. I had an umbrella with me, so I decided to open it. As soon as I open my umbrella, my friend asked me why. I explained, but she said to me it is not normal and people will think that I am crazy. I remind her that we saw a few people walking with umbrellas at this park and nobody look at them as they were crazy. Then my friend said that she doesn't want to walk with me if I don't close my umbrella because she think it is embarrassing for her. She got really angry and started to yell at me. I said to her that she is acting not normal and I don't want to continue our relationship. I walked away from her.
I was walking and tears just started to fall down. I usually cry very rare, but this time I couldn't stop.
Is it really embarrassing to use umbrella against sun? |
I honestly consider it weird when I see someone using an umbrella for the sun. But if I had a friend who NEEDED it because she was actually feeling as if she was going to burn then I wouldn't really care. The only time i'd flip out over that is if I was in a bad mood, or pmsing. Usually we get annoyed by small things like that easier then usual. So maybe she was just having one of those days! It seems pretty petty to get mad about something as ridiculous as this. So maybe just explain to your friend that you just felt that you were going to burn, and that next time you'll just bring more sunblock if she's going to be around you lol. |
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Vancouver, BC Canada. Oil cleansing method all the way! |
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Tue May 27, 2008 12:40 am |
I honestly do not consider it weird to use an umbrella/parasol in the sun! And I really couldn't care less what others think about my parasol use!! 
However, let me post my last experience with a parasol to shed some light (or should I say shade) on this subject!
I spent over 10 hours in full sun a few weeks ago and there is no sunscreen in the world and no amount of frequent application that would protect me in this environement. So I pulled out my Hello Kitty Parasol at about 10 AM. Yes...I did get some weird looks. Yet at one point a very young girl looked at me and said that an umbrella was a good idea. In the middle of the afternoon my husband was by my side and I covered him with the parasol. He initially recoiled and went for the sun but when he realized how much cooler it was underneath the parasol he suddenly changed his mind. At about 4 PM a woman of about 50 or 60 said that I was the smart one because I used an umbrealla and nobody else did.
So I am not sure if everyone thinks that umbrellas or parasols are weird. I have been to many events where umbreallas to protect from the sun are common.
Then again I can see that many are very concerned with what others think and Lara1 perhaps your friend is this way too. Try to understand her discomfort and maybe try to educate her about the benefits of using an umbrella. Is she very young? We are often alot more conscious of what other think when we are young? I guess in the end you need to consider if your friendship with this woman is worth putting up with her quirks and immaturity (regardless of her age). Then again it could just be that she does not really realize just how important sun protection is. Give her the facts and give her a chance to show that she can be a tolerant friend. Friends are very valuable. And you should only reject her friendship if she repeatedly shows that she values what others think of her more than she values your freindship. |
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Tue May 27, 2008 4:38 am |
I'm so sorry your friend was mean to you. It was really uncalled for to treat you that way. Honestly, I think she has some other issues (could she be upset with you about some thing else?) to cause her to act this way, it just seems silly to me to act that extreme over an umbrella.
I do not think you are weird. They sell sun umbellas for this purpose. I would surely use one if I happen to have one and was ouside like you were.
I have a full face sun-visor (looks like a welding mask). I wear it often when I walk my dog or do yard work. I probably look weird to some but I dont care. |
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Tue May 27, 2008 7:11 am |
Personally, I would think it looks strange - probably because I've never seen anyone use one in the sunshine. (I live in the rainy UK!)
Having said that, if I had a friend who was worried about skin cancer or whose skin was very easily burnt, then I'd happily walk around with them with their umbrella/parasol up.
Embarrassingly enough, I have, on more than one occasion, forgotten to put my umbrella down when walking in an indoor shopping centre on a rainy day. I got some really strange looks! That's probably much weirder than having an umbrella up in the sunshine, I think.   |
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Tue May 27, 2008 7:36 am |
| Lara1 wrote: |
Hi,
a few days ago I went with my new friend/acquaintance from work to buy some plants at Botanical garden. We also decided to walk around as they have a very beautiful and big park. I put plenty of sunblock and added more every hour, but my skin is very fair and sensitive to the sun and I started to feel that my skin is burning. I had an umbrella with me, so I decided to open it. As soon as I open my umbrella, my friend asked me why. I explained, but she said to me it is not normal and people will think that I am crazy. I remind her that we saw a few people walking with umbrellas at this park and nobody look at them as they were crazy. Then my friend said that she doesn't want to walk with me if I don't close my umbrella because she think it is embarrassing for her. She got really angry and started to yell at me. I said to her that she is acting not normal and I don't want to continue our relationship. I walked away from her.
I was walking and tears just started to fall down. I usually cry very rare, but this time I couldn't stop.
Is it really embarrassing to use umbrella against sun? |
Laral the only kook is your "friend". The umbrella is smart.  |
_________________
mid 40's, blonde, blue eyes, normal skin, DIY skin regime, AALS - biggest problem undereye - getting much better with AALS & DIY serums. |
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Tue May 27, 2008 8:37 am |
| Alley wrote: |
Laral the only kook is your "friend". The umbrella is smart. |
Agreed!
Lara, I think you should punish your friend by sending her shopping in an indoors mall with majorb using her umbrella |
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Tue May 27, 2008 8:46 am |
Hi Laral!
I think it isn't weird, it's elegant and unique!
I just Googled 'sun parasol vintage' and found lots of historical information...at one time, sun parasols were reserved for royalty! Us peasants had to get burned, I guess!
There are some very fancy sun parasols that are antique and collectible. And, there are some modern ones made of special fabric that is designed to protect against UV rays!
I think you should carry your parasols proudly. You might start a trend!
I know it takes a lot of confidence to be different. But your beautiful skin should give you much confidence! hold your head high, smile a big smile, and when someone comments on your parasol, thank them and say "Isn't it great? I just love it!"
Here are a few links, I'm sure you'll find many more!
http://www.fabrics.net/joan102.asp
http://www.greatparasolz.com
I have to leave for work or I'd get totally into this parasol thing!
Best of luck! |
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Blond, Swedish/Cherokee, normal/dry skin, a sucker for products, gizmos, and treatments that are "age-defying." Just hit the big 4-0 |
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Tue May 27, 2008 8:53 am |
Hi Lara! First of all, I hope this doesn't sound too harsh, but your friend needs to get over herself in a big way. It's none of her business what measures you take to protect yourself from the sun, and it's immature to make such a fuss and to try to make YOU feel bad for it.
That being said, you carry that umbrella proudly, girl! Even though I have delicate, paperwhite skin, I have to honestly say that it never even occurred to me to carry an umbrella or a parasol until I lived in Japan and saw all the women over there doing it. I thought it was pure genius, and not only that, I thought that they looked so elegant and lady-like, and I've personally been using a parasol ever since. I carried one all over Japan and Singapore where it's a more accepted practice, and now that I'm back in the states I carry one everywhere I go and pay no mind to what the people here think. I love carrying a parasol so much that I've actually started collecting them so I will always have a pretty one to match my outfit. If you look on places like ebay, they have lots of attractive options that will make you feel even better about carrying a parasol. And remember, if all else fails, just think of how you are going to get the last laugh when you have beautiful skin in 20 years and the friend who hassled you has skin like an alligator hand bag! |
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27, sensitive/reactive/acne prone skin, dark brown hair, blue eyes, possibly the palest woman alive... |
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Tue May 27, 2008 10:40 am |
| manslayerliz wrote: |
. . .until I lived in Japan and saw all the women over there doing it. I thought it was pure genius, and not only that, I thought that they looked so elegant and lady-like, and I've personally been using a parasol ever since. I carried one all over Japan and Singapore where it's a more accepted practice, and now that I'm back in the states I carry one everywhere I go and pay no mind to what the people here think. I love carrying a parasol so much that I've actually started collecting them so I will always have a pretty one to match my outfit. If you look on places like ebay, they have lots of attractive options that will make you feel even better about carrying a parasol. And remember, if all else fails, just think of how you are going to get the last laugh when you have beautiful skin in 20 years and the friend who hassled you has skin like an alligator hand bag! |
Here! Here! 
I mean, let's get real guys! We all know that sun is just plain not good for our skin, right? We protect ourselves from rain and snow. Why not from the sun??? I think it's common sense to either wear a big hat or a parasol/umbrella on a sunny day. I personally don't own a parasol (although, Liz got me thinking there with her little scheme of parasols matching her outfits ), but I do have two huge sun-visors that I bought in China-town. I see Chinese women walking with big sun-visors and umbrellas all the time, and the only thing I can think about is how smart they are.
I must say, my hubby gave me hell teasing me about my visors, and you know what - I couldn't care less.
So, ladies - let's protect our skin using any means necessary. I do agree that parasols are feminine, elegant and practical. So, let's start a trend  . |
_________________
44, oily T-zone, acne prone (PCOS) ~ Baby Q & Tanda (blue light) ~ Karin Herzog (Oxy Face, Vita-A-Kombi 2, Vitamin H, Eye cream) ~ PSF (Cramberry Eye Gel) ~ Pearl/Silk powder primer and mist ~ L2K ~ MMU |
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Tue May 27, 2008 12:03 pm |
| I live in Vancouver, so to see someone carrying an umbrella does look a little weird. I think it would be a lot smarter if you carry one where it's always hot out, like Florida, California, Vegas...etc. But we only get so many sunny days, and the sun is actually good for you! If you're constantly burning your skin though, that's obviously a big no no, but i'm not in the sun that often in one day so I don't usually get burned. I think the hugest reason why people get bad skin because of too much exposure from the sun is because they don't moisturize enough. The sun not only dehydrates you but does the same to the outer layers of the skin. I know plenty of hot women in their 50's that have been huge sunbathers and they have even better skin then me! No plastic surgery or anything. But they always moisturized, ate healthy, drank lots of water and took great care of their skin. So I don't think too much sun is always the culprit! |
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Vancouver, BC Canada. Oil cleansing method all the way! |
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Tue May 27, 2008 9:00 pm |
I like the parasol idea too!
I was at Disneyworld one summer and had an umbrella just in case it rained. Well, standing in line in the FLA sun for hours can kill you, so I whipped that puppy out and enjoyed at least a 7 degree drop in heat while everyone else was frying (and looking askance at me).
My husband is used to this and just went along with it, but I noticed many Oriental ppl, male and female, using parasols too. I felt like a geisha after a while! |
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✪ My go-to products: MyFawnie.BigCartel.com ✪ |
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Tue May 27, 2008 9:43 pm |
| What's the big deal? I live in Canada and always use an umbrella for the sun. I have all sizes. Large for the beach, small for rain or sun. Men at the beach use umbrella hats! If you are roasting in the sun and heat it's a good idea having "portable shade". Your acquaintance has "issues", I'd move on to someone who is more comfortable with herself. There are some very fashionable parasols out there. |
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Wed May 28, 2008 4:45 am |
| appletini wrote: |
| Alley wrote: |
Laral the only kook is your "friend". The umbrella is smart. |
Agreed!
Lara, I think you should punish your friend by sending her shopping in an indoors mall with majorb using her umbrella |
Surely nobody deserves that much punishment! |
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Wed May 28, 2008 1:43 pm |
Your friend is the one with the problem and needs to grow up. You also need to find a different "friend", and I use that term loosely. Do you really want a person in your life who is that judgmental?
I'm looking into getting a sun umbrella, as well as some more sun hats, myself. I know it's the best thing for me and will hopefully set a good example for my kids about protecting their skin from the sun. BTW, I live in an extremely affluent community where even highly educated, super model thin women are still tanning, but I've decided to be PALE AND PROUD |
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46, curly dk blonde hair, fair, blue eyes, very oily T-zone. HGs: Tazorac .05% gel; Avene/Bioderma s/s (very high spf AND ppd); Cellbone vit Cie 20%; Cellbone Hyperpeptides; IFP 5% bha/10% aha; Obagi Clear; 'curly girl' method (no poo, just co wash) for my 3b curls. |
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Wed May 28, 2008 7:30 pm |
 I'm so sorry you had such a bad experience!
However it's freakishly weird that this happened to you, I've having similar issues recently, and a similar confrontation happened just this morning! I was even considering posting about it.
I wear sunscreen, and I wear physical sunscreen. My mom HATES it. She thinks it looks awful, it looks greasy, there's a slight white cast. She doesn't understand that it takes a while to sink in. She has to be exaggerating, it is really not that bad. My sister, who is very critical and honest, told me she couldn't tell I was wearing anything.
However my mom tells me it hurts her to see me leaving the house looking so ugly. She says nobody else will ever say this to me, but she does because she's my mom. |
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Wed May 28, 2008 9:30 pm |
Thank you everyone for your replies! People on this forum are great supporters! 
Here is my update to the situation...for last two days my friend didn't come to work...and nobody seems to know what is going on.
This is my summer job and I am working at this place for last three weeks after exams. Today we had a little meeting and my supervisor asked me if I know where she is. Supervisor warned me to be careful with her. She explained that my friend is very nice, but sometimes she is out of the line with co-workers.
I don't know her very well to call her my friend she is more acquaintance. She never said where she live or even if she had a boy friend. All I have is her cell number.
I don't think I will continue our starting friendship with her after she yelled at me in the public place, but I worry about her. She doesn't answering her phone and didn't come to work. May be she needs help. May be she has some personal problems... I will try to find out what is going on. At work she gave to a supervisor a phone number that is disconnected. I remember when I asked her about her family she didn't answered she just changed conversation.
All this is really strange and remind me about documentary I saw on TV about abused women and secretive behaviour.
I know that may be I should stop even think about her and forget it like a bad dream, but I have to know what is it going on with her. |
_________________
Blond, blue eyes.Skin: Normal, sometimes oily, during winter very dry. Very sensitive. Occasional breakouts. Very fair. |
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Fri May 30, 2008 8:31 am |
Well, that is certainly really wierd behaviour I am willing to bet she does not have many friends...
I never leave home in summer without my brolly. I just have a light-colored regular umbrella (cannot stand those fabric ones) and it is UV protected. I am prepared for both scorching sun and heat, as well as a summer downpour.
Mind you, before I moved to Japan 14 years ago I would rather have been caught naked than with an umbrella (though I did use one to go to the bus stop when I had a late start for work during summer. ssshh)... but that is because in those days in Australia only GRANDMAS use them (man, grannies were S-M-A-R-T).
Now I dont think twice - then again, in Japan people look at you strangely if you DONT have an umbrella to walk in the sun. |
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SKIN: combination, reactive to climate changes and extremely fair. "Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself." --Roseanne |
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Fri May 30, 2008 10:33 am |
I grew up in Far East Asia and practically with umbrella right next to my crib ... seriously, having umbrella wherever you go especially with the global warming and all, that we should really protect ourselves from these UV rays...
I have migrated to the US 24 yrs ago and I brought with me my umbrella that I have since my college days in the early 80s.
Since then, I have had other umbrellas that I bought from my home country and I have it with me in my car/van, just in case for rainy season or just having a stroll in the park.
So it's not totally weird as far as I'm concern, because it's really SMART thing to have it. |
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www.worldmarktheclub.com |
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Wed Jun 04, 2008 4:10 pm |
| I live in L.A. & on Sunny days see lots of people with umbrellas. Who cares what anyone thinks when you don't have a sunburn?! I think it's great you have enough confidence to use it! Your skin will look younger from it too. |
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40, fair skinned, dark hair, blue eyes |
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Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:44 am |
| I don't blame you for being concerned about her, those are some very odd circumstances you've listed there. We never know what battles others are fighting so good for you Lara for having compassion even after her behaviour toward you seemed so strange... |
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Thu Jun 05, 2008 11:57 am |
I agree with C4ward -- in LA, parasols are commonplace. Which means the trend will find acceptance in the rest of the country within... three years?
It's a new niche that umbrella-makers would be wise to address. Sunbrellas.
That said, I would probably have a bit of a problem with a Hello Kitty umbrella. But that's just me. :-> |
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tenderlovingwork.com, astonishing handmade gifts |
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Fri Jun 13, 2008 10:22 pm |
| Since I live in southern part of USA I have seen plenty of people carry an umbrella when it is really hot. Umbrella is meant for sheltering from the weather. It does not matter if it is pouring down rain or scorching heat. The not so friendly friend sounds rude and selfish! |
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Tue Jul 29, 2008 12:32 pm |
I have 3 different UV umbrellas. I get my Japanese friends to get them for me and I'm the one who's cooler and more comfortable than everyone around me sweating and getting all red in the face from the heat.
I am fortunate i live in an area of my city where a lot of people from different asian regions live and we all carry our UV umbrellas together so it's the ones without the umbrella we all feel sorry for....
BTW, the really good ones can make a hot day feel up to 10 degrees cooler... |
_________________
oily tzone;fair; mild roseacea;PCOS symptoms-hirsutism,occasional cystic acne. Mid 30's-light-med brown hair, light brown eyes |
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Tue Aug 26, 2008 7:23 pm |
I know this is an old thread but first of all,
Your friend is a jerk (no offense),
and second, you shouldn't care too much about what people think, and if your friend gets embarrassed about something as small as that then 'blow up her spot', seriously.
Where I'm from you do what you want to do and people don't care unless it's harming them.
I think your friend has self-esteem issues and need to look into herself before she calls out anyone else,
what a shame, some people rely on others to make their own image seem better.
One time I was getting my hair done and I still had that black wrap on my head, I was too bored and decided to leave the salon to go shopping while I waited for my hair to finish, yes, I had that wrap on my head.. some people looked, but most people didn't care. I always stand my ground. Its much easier for people to mess with you and your confidence when you let them.
Be you, always, and always be real. If people can't deal with it, screw them. |
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