baby taking a toll on the body
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free skin care · Mon Mar 14, 2011 1:52 pm

I'm a 25 yr old newlywed who is obsessed with trying to stay fit and young. I don't like the idea of aging (weight gain, wrinkles). Starting a family is a plan for the future, but I am scared that a baby will take a toll on my body. My mom for example had gone downhill in looks because she was constantly busy trying to take care of me and my brother (being a mom is a full-time job), and you always hear that term that once you have a kid, your looks go downhill because you don't have time to upkeep your looks. I'm not rich and can't afford nannys or personal trainers like celebrities can to get back into a size 2 after a baby...so for all you yummy mummys out there, how does having a baby affect your body?

free skin care · Tue Mar 15, 2011 11:42 am

Why don't you wait a few years to get pregnant? By then you will know how stable your marriage is. Why the rush?

This website has nudity so may be blocked at work. It shows photos of real mothers' bodies. www.theshapeofamother.com
Why not look at it with your husband?

free skin care · Tue Mar 15, 2011 1:10 pm

That's a toughie because there are so many different variables with being pregnant and there's no way of knowing what's in store. For instance, getting varicose veins, needing a c-section, and so on.

SoftSkin, thanks for the link. Never saw that before.

free skin care · Tue Mar 15, 2011 4:26 pm

I tell ya what, if it weren't for me gaining 85 pounds while I was pregnant (3 times), I'd be able to rock a bikini like you wouldn't believe Laughing

The best advice I can give you if and when you get pregnant is only gain the 35'ish pounds they say is typical and slather your midsection in cocoa butter lotion on a daily basis (upper thighs, buttocks and stomach) to ward off stretch marks. I was only 19 years old when I got pregnant with my first (he will be 20 this year) and didn't really give much thought to what I ate or put on myself and my stomach now looks like a deflated balloon covered in stretch marks...argh!

My sister, on the other hand, was religious with cocoa butter lotion and had 3 kids as well, gained quite a bit over the normal baby weight but still can wear a bikini (and look great in it!) and is void stretch marks and her stomach looks great....it makes me a bit sick Razz

free skin care · Tue Mar 15, 2011 4:30 pm

Not to mention each woman, and each pregnancy is totally different. For the "average-sized" woman, she will gain 25-35 lbs. Most of the weight is lost within the first year. I know of lots of mums who do not have the means of celebrities but that look fabulous after having kids. Yes your body will change. But it will change anyways the older you get. Just remember, though you are eating for two, doesn't mean you can eat whatever you want, whenever and with no regards to quantity.

The key is looking after yourself, both staying active and eating healthy.

Thanks for the link.

free skin care · Tue Mar 15, 2011 7:20 pm

I looked better after my first childbirth. It gave me better hips (where I had none), increased bust size and kicked in a more womanly look. Better still my menstral cycle which was always irregular became regular.

After my third boy - who was almost 10 pounds on my 5'3" 115 pound bod... I was nervous...still NO stretchmarks, no veins, and wear a bikini with no problems whatsoever in my 50's... Just got a darling little Ralph Lauren bikini in blue with little shells...
Noone in my family ever gets stretch marks but I sure won the big baby award. It's genetics - I never used cocoa butter or anything. Gained a ton with the last baby - probably 45 pounds or so. 30+ with the other two.

Exercise, good nutrition, no smoking... all the usual stuff. I also have oily skin which I think was and still is a significant help to maintaining my skin.

Good advice about having your husband understand what happens to a body that is pregnant and aftermath--- and giving your marriage time to be certain of stability. Plus - everyone gets old, ages... Each stage of life can be beautiful.

free skin care · Tue Mar 15, 2011 11:12 pm

I had twins... I was a bit heavier than normal when I got PG... I would recommend being your absolute IDEAL weight if possible.

I gained 40 lbs only. I literally lost 30 lbs in 40 days from the day of birth.

My stomach is not human in my estimation. It's quite icky to me. I didn't get stretch marks until about a month after I measured 9 months (that was at 4 months)

I have zero vericose veins. I have twin mom friends whose tummies shrunk to perfection. But are quite veiny... It's all crazy...

We really are each very different! Good luck!!!

free skin care · Thu Mar 17, 2011 5:40 pm

Eat real food when you get pregnant, you won't gain too much weight that way. Processed food is what ages anyone pregnant or not.

I only had one baby, gained 28 pounds, was down to 112 in 6 weeks (I left my husband and was in nursing school too, HARD!!). I worked out most of my pg. and started back working out as soon as I could.

I saw a really awesome looking mom recently at the grocery store. So I went outside and said to her, You look so cute, who says you have to be a frumpadinkle with 3 kids, she said, I actually have 4! I could tell she was really flattered...........And she was really cute and put together.

Just don't buy sweats and boxy T shirts! If you don't have them you can't put them on!!!! (legging are comfortable AND sexy). Same with junk food, if you don't buy it you won't have it to eat!!!

free skin care · Tue Mar 29, 2011 3:17 am

I agree with one of the earlier posts....I would wait a few years before having any kids. I had my first at 28. I'm glad it was later. I married at 22 and thought that the next step was kids, but the hubby wasn't ready and with hindsight being what it is, I can now say he was right and that I wasn't really ready either.

The truth is that your body will be forever changed after having a baby. If that is a concern, then have fun now with your new hubby. Babies can wait!

I don't think anyone is ever truly ready for how drastically life changes once you add in a baby, but it helps if you are ready for that change (i.e. really want that baby, not pressure from family or friends). Even wanting a baby doesn't mean you won't mourn your old life and body. Who hasn't stated to your spouse at least once since having kids,..."Remember when we: ...could go out to eat? ..Sleep in?...go to a movie? ...slept thru the night?...went out with friends? ..had sex?...had sex that lasted longer than an episode of Spongebob?" Very Happy

Comes with the territory. Me? I longed for my child, but even then I cried after giving birth...my stomach was a big gooey mess. Mom never mentioned that skin takes a bit to bounce back...and it never went back to pre-preggie tummy Sad

But when I got down on myself, I would look at my little baby and I knew I wouldn't change a thing. For me, my hips spread out and the boobs drooped and i have a little pooch now and even when I was looking great three years later at 124 pounds I could still see the differences in my body. I am far from 124 now....and it is post my second one at 38 now and the body is on strike, but I still am proud of my chubby body. Thin or chunky, having my kids is one of my proudest achievements. Raising them is proving to be a joyful journey <let's see what the teen years bring> but for now its a good ride. babahahaha! Laughing

All the advice above is good...watch what you eat,...etc. BUT if you really want a snap shot of how you will look/handle baby....look to your Mom. How her body handled multiple babies is a good foreshadowing of how yours will too. If she had morning sickness and stretch marks, then you probably will too. Nothing is written in stone, but how your genetics handles preggo stress is a good indicator and can help you mitigate some things. If she was able to shed the body weight easily then you may be able too. It's not all bad. Very Happy

Realistically, the first year after birth is all about the baby. Your looks will take a back seat, but right about the time you start to notice that you haven't been taking the same care of yourself is usually when the baby is learning some independence and you can learn about your self again.

So, plan on two years of not being in control of your body...physically or hormonally. It takes 40 weeks to grow the wee one and about a year before your brain catches back up again. Laughing

free skin care · Tue Mar 29, 2011 4:43 am

Hi there BC girl I am a 44yr old "older" mum my youngest is just 2. Iam sitting in the living room with her rolling on the floor. I waited to have children, mainly because my first marriage failed very soon after the wedding(I didnt know my husband very well and REALLY wanted to be MRS, how young and stupid I was)
Anyway waiting was the best thing I did Ive had 2 careers, lots of fun met my now husband,waited for about 8yrs before I got pregnant, and now i feel whole and complete!! Actually the 8 yrs was a bit long!! My point is really enjoy yourself now with your new husband get to know him and yourself, you are still very young and have a life ahead of you.

The best thing I ever did Was to have these two but they Do change your life.I certainly had to grow up a little!
on the body thing I am actually a smaller size than I ever was before and my husband thinks I look better,more womanly!Being taken for a Yummy Mummy is great,anyway enuff of the preaching go out there and enjoy being a young married couple for a bit

free skin care · Tue Mar 29, 2011 6:41 am

That is definitely not true! I know many girls who have gotten pregnant and were able to stay fit! Its just a matter of actually exercising afterwards and making sure you don't get stretch marks (like using Palmer's)

free skin care · Tue Mar 29, 2011 11:15 am

I'm old enough to remember the Ann Landers column referenced in this article. It caused a firestorm. However, in several similar surveys over the past thirty years, both here and abroad, the results are always the same.

http://thebritgirl.com/2006/10/19/if-you-had-it-to-do-over-again-%E2%80%93-would-you-have-children/

Two books you might want to read, out of print but maybe at a library or somewhere online:

Mother's Day is Over
The Myth of Motherhood

They were the first books to expose what women really thought. I think they came out in the 1970s as well.

free skin care · Wed Mar 30, 2011 7:13 am

I never said you can't be fit after children, but I DID say your body WILL change. You can't push a watermelon out a mouse-hole and not have any repercussions!

Some folks have more changes than others. Usually the very small have the most dramatic...'more womanly figure'. Having post-baby-boobs is awesome, but after you stop breastfeeding they do deflate.

And it IS true. You can slather on all the cocoa butter you want, but if your mother, sister, grandmother all had bad stretch marks then the odds are stacked against you. You can't change your genetics just like you can't change your pore size. You can try to mitigate how bad though. So, eating right, staying hydrated, exercising all go a long way on how bad they may be. Exercising after the baby also helps get back you body, but it will never be 100% pre-baby. I'm sure there may be a few females out there but they are the exception not the rule. My best friend is one of those who found a more beautiful figure after her kids...she didn't have much in the hip dept before so she loves her post baby body. Nothing says you give up after kids, but the first year after birth is really about adjusting to your new life and role.

free skin care · Fri Apr 01, 2011 9:02 pm

deanne123, so true. I'm petite and everyone would joke that I would barely even show. My first son caused a herniated stomach because he got so big and I went overdue. It wasn't because I didn't exercise or gained so much weight, it just happened. Plus I also had a disorder with him, was on blood thinners (something totally unexpected). Anyway, I wouldn't change it for the world though, not one bit! Varicose veins, funny tummy, stretch marks and all. Smile

10Sylvia5, nice to meet another older Mother on here. My youngest is 3 and I'm turning 43. I, too, had a first failed marriage and didn't have my first till I was 37.

free skin care · Sun Apr 03, 2011 8:12 pm

oasisjc wrote:

That is definitely not true! I know many girls who have gotten pregnant and were able to stay fit! Its just a matter of actually exercising afterwards and making sure you don't get stretch marks (like using Palmer's)

oasisjc, one of my best friends had a baby 2 years ago. Her body used to be just gorgeous - very fit, no cellulite, no stretchmarks. When she got pregnant she worked out as much as the doctor said was healthy for the baby, ate very very well, and used tons of cocoa butter and anti-stretchmark oils. Her tummy didn't even get that big, but she ended up with deep, red stretchmarks all over her stomach, hips, butt, and thighs.
Now, I know for a fact that she spent hours and hours on the internet researching how to maintain her figure, and did everything she could.
She lost all the weight she put on, but she still keeps telling me her body is not the same at all. I still think she's absolutely beautiful, but she gets very depressed over her stretchmarks. Her doctor actually said they're hormonal more than actual stretching. That's why some girls get stretchmarks just from being on birth control pills, without even gaining weight.
Anyway, I guess it's all genetics, because she definitely could not have done more to stay healthy and fit during pregnancy.

free skin care · Mon Apr 04, 2011 12:41 pm

I have four kids, all with long (42 week+) pregnancies, am a skinny person -- normally about 105-110 lbs -- so gained a good % of my body weight when I was pregnant. My first baby was small, just over 7 lbs, and my stomach was flat afterward. I was 98 lbs when I got pregnant with my second and gained about 45 lbs, including fat in some odd places that I thought would never go away but did. Babies 2-4 were all in the 9-10 lb range.

I exercised throughout all pregnancies, never got stretchmarks or varicose veins. I've never had much in the way of hips, but definitely expanded there a bit since my pre-baby body. And my body is nothing like my mother's (she also had very long pregnancies).

Right after childbirth the body looks a thousand deflated balloons but presumably you are too focused on the baby to fret about that.

My own completely opinionated opinion is that women should not have babies before age 30. I was 28, and the youngest of my friends. I thought I was ready, but I wasn't. The body change is nothing compared to how your life changes. Major adjustment in 10000 ways.

free skin care · Mon Apr 18, 2011 5:03 am

hey Whitewolf nice to meet you too, sorry about your recent news, (from other thread)hope you can move on ok.
By the way how do you cope with the tiredness?
And do your "wee" ones sleep (mine dont)?
I know this is probably the wrong place, but it is nice to meet someone who is in a similar position.

free skin care · Mon Apr 18, 2011 4:50 pm

Hi there...I'm doing okay from my miscarriage and hoping to get pregnant again (despite turning a year older). My 5 year old sleeps well but my 3 year old is up lots most nights. Most days I'm "running on empty" & try to sneak a nap in after school but that normally falls through. I wouldn't trade that tiredness in for all the world though, I love being a Mom. I find being older, they make me feel younger and always make that joke "I'll sleep when I'm dead", haha. Smile

free skin care · Tue Apr 19, 2011 2:13 am

wow, cant believe this, my oldest is 5 and the younger is 2 and doesnt sleep thro either.
She goes down about 1/2 past 11 or 12 then wakes up 2 or 3 ish.
Running on empty is a good word for it!
And yes your are sooo right I wouldnt change it for anytthing. I cant remember what I did BK( before Kids).
Thank goodness for coffee and green smoothies, they seem to be all i live on at the moment.

free skin care · Wed Aug 17, 2011 9:39 am

ClaudiaFE wrote:

I had twins... I was a bit heavier than normal when I got PG... I would recommend being your absolute IDEAL weight if possible.

I gained 40 lbs only. I literally lost 30 lbs in 40 days from the day of birth.

My stomach is not human in my estimation. It's quite icky to me. I didn't get stretch marks until about a month after I measured 9 months (that was at 4 months)

I have zero vericose veins. I have twin mom friends whose tummies shrunk to perfection. But are quite veiny... It's all crazy...

We really are each very different! Good luck!!!

This is funny this thread popped up again. I don't remember even replying... but what's funny is I said I lost 30 lbs in 40 days. That's a big whoop right????

I lost 30 pounds in 4, yes, four days... LOL! Even my balance was thrown off a bit it was so fast.

I think my mind is way more shot than my body! After kids. I get tongue tied, and I can't seem to spell anymore...

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