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Feeling a bit sorry for myself :(
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Zoe
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Wed May 25, 2005 7:40 am      Reply with quote
This is probably going to sound a bit sad/pathetic/insecure whatever, but hey here goes - I've never really had a lot of confidence, I'm fairly comfortable with myself though perhaps occassionally a bit down on looks etc (as we all do I assume!) I came on here as getting near 30 and wanted to do something about the tell tale signs, what lead up to it is irrelevant really (almost a road rage situation) but this unknown woman as her parting insult said I had an ugly face Sad I know perhaps I should just take it as a childish insult venting her anger etc and brush it off not caring what a complete stranger thinks, but it has been playing on my mind since - perhaps I need to wear more make up - my mother never did so I don't know how to apply it properly (perhaps no amount of make up will help me!), just slap a bit of mascara and eyeliner on, or what colours would suit me, do you think the local beauty salon could help advise? Embarassed

Perhaps I'll have to dig out some photos for opinion on just how ugly my face is! I've had my fair share of admirers and boyfriends so can't be that bad! Laughing

Z
Toe
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Wed May 25, 2005 8:13 am      Reply with quote
I wouldn't take to heart anything that some strange woman said to you in an argument. Unfortunately, women can be quite cruel towards each other and if they want to strike a low blow they will launch an attack on your appearance as they know that this will be very hurtful. Newsagents are full of gossipy magazines that seem to enjoy attacking celebrities for what they are wearing or how they look when they dare to step outside their front door without any make-up on.
If you feel like getting a make-up lesson to make you feel a bit more confident then I'm not 100% sure but I think that The Body Shop offer free makeovers (hopefully someone on the forum can confirm this Smile ). A lot of make-up counters in the big department stores offer makeovers. The only problem with this is that they usually give you the hard sell and try to get you to buy lots of the products that they've used to create your new look.
Flicking through some of the beauty magazines will also give you some hints and tips as to what colours to wear and application techniques.

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faith
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Wed May 25, 2005 8:31 am      Reply with quote
Zoe,

I am sure that that woman was just being a b**ch. Toe is totally right! Women know what to say to be mean to one another, and they often do it on purpose.

As corny as this probably sounds, I think that all women are beautiful. I really do. Some women may be more skilled at highlighting their best features, but as Winnie says, "God doesn't make junk".

I am a very *girly* girl and LOVE getting makeovers. My favourite is the MAC counter!! Doing something like this may help you get a better idea about suitable colours for you and it may teach you some application techniques. The MACc counter that I used to go to was great because the girls really loved cosmetics and just had fun applying them. I learned a lot!

I, like you though, do not wear make-up everyday and don't really feel like it is necessary. Whatever you do though, just try to remain confident in yourself. Confidence is sexier than even the best lip gloss anyday. Very Happy

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loopylori
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Wed May 25, 2005 9:17 am      Reply with quote
Zoe,
I am sure you are not ugly in any way, shape or form. We all know how bitchy we can be when we want. How many women have told their mates that their X had a small you know what. We know how to hit low and hard. I bet that woman felt worse than you when she got home and thought what she had said in the heat of the moment. I know I would have.
Just dismiss her comment.
Having said that an ego boost might be going to one of these photo studios where they give you a complete makeover (usually free then you choose whether or not you want to buy the photos). They always put way to much slap on you but really do make you look good on the photos. Also like the other girls said go to a cosmetic counter. My local college also does one day courses teaching you how to put on make-up and what colours suit you. After all knowing how to apply properly can make such a difference. A lot of top models look minging without make-up.My mum never wore the stuff either so I grew up without the confidence of how to apply etc.
Let us know how you get on.

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sharky
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Wed May 25, 2005 9:20 am      Reply with quote
That is really rotten some people really are awful.

Get yourself a makeover or a facial not because you need to look better but just for fun. I don't use much make-up but it is fun sometimes to get "done up". I think most people look best with minimal make-up too much is much worse than too little.

Good luck post a picture if it would make you feel better. I bet you look more or less like the rest of us but someone might have makeup ideas when seeing u.

Keep smiling, stay away from stupid people.

PS I got some defensive comments from some "friends" when I lost weight and wrinkles so you can't win on this one. Some people are just mean.
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Wed May 25, 2005 9:34 am      Reply with quote
Zoe - I know what most of us say won't sink in for a bit if you're feeling down BUT it's almost the worst thing to say is we're ugly or fat and it cuts - whether we are or not these people aren't to judge. What makes me angry with myself is when I allow stupid comments like that get to me as it reinforces the idea that we are nothing if we are not 20, size 0 and models.

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Winnie
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Wed May 25, 2005 9:45 am      Reply with quote
Shock Zoe, anyone that would say something like that must have psychological probems. Bad Grin Please try not to let such a remark bring you down. Think what a miserable person she must be (ugly inside). I don't know a woman yet who has days when she looks in the mirror and doesn't feel unattractive. None of us can change the face we were born with. Certainly we can enhance our best features.

Do something nice for someone today. Thank God you are not like the woman who hurt your feelings. We all need to love ourselves for who we are not what we look like.

Winnie

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m.april
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Wed May 25, 2005 11:29 am      Reply with quote
Zoe - What a hateful comment. My guess is she suffers from self-loathing or other issues and took it out on you.

If you get a makeover, consider what the practitioner looks like -- some of them seem to overdo it and wear too much makeup themselves, IMO. Get a person whose own makeup is flattering, and since you don't wear much now, at least start with a minimal, natural look.

loopylori - you slay me Wink Laughing Laughing
angie melinn
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Wed May 25, 2005 12:01 pm      Reply with quote
Zoe wrote:
This is probably going to sound a bit sad/pathetic/insecure whatever, but hey here goes - I've never really had a lot of confidence, I'm fairly comfortable with myself though perhaps occassionally a bit down on looks etc (as we all do I assume!) I came on here as getting near 30 and wanted to do something about the tell tale signs, what lead up to it is irrelevant really (almost a road rage situation) but this unknown woman as her parting insult said I had an ugly face Sad I know perhaps I should just take it as a childish insult venting her anger etc and brush it off not caring what a complete stranger thinks, but it has been playing on my mind since - perhaps I need to wear more make up - my mother never did so I don't know how to apply it properly (perhaps no amount of make up will help me!), just slap a bit of mascara and eyeliner on, or what colours would suit me, do you think the local beauty salon could help advise? Embarassed

Perhaps I'll have to dig out some photos for opinion on just how ugly my face is! I've had my fair share of admirers and boyfriends so can't be that bad! Laughing

Z
loopylori
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Wed May 25, 2005 12:16 pm      Reply with quote
m.april wrote:
Zoe - What a hateful comment. My guess is she suffers from self-loathing or other issues and took it out on you.

If you get a makeover, consider what the practitioner looks like -- some of them seem to overdo it and wear too much makeup themselves, IMO. Get a person whose own makeup is flattering, and since you don't wear much now, at least start with a minimal, natural look.

loopylori - you slay me Wink Laughing Laughing


I dunno what I did? but I apologise anyway Sad

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m.april
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Wed May 25, 2005 12:29 pm      Reply with quote
Lori - the part about the "small you know what" -- apparently the greatest insult known to man* (*with a small m - no pun intended).
loopylori
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Wed May 25, 2005 12:37 pm      Reply with quote
rofl
I can be a bitch with the best of them. However I have personally never said that about an X myself. But then of course I was an innocent until I got married Liar (he's not an X yet, but he may be one day).

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Winnie
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Wed May 25, 2005 12:43 pm      Reply with quote
loopylori wrote:
rofl
I can be a bitch with the best of them. However I have personally never said that about an X myself. But then of course I was an innocent until I got married Liar (he's not an X yet, but he may be one day).


Usually a woman that said something like that to Zoe hasn't had a good --- in quite some time.

Pray Think I am hanging around you yougins too long. rofl But, I LOVE IT. Dancing

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As I am getting older I realize my biggest beauty secret is smile more and frown less. Be aware that wrinkles do not make a person unattractive. Cynicism, unforgiveness, anger and jealousy are the real culprits. Sixty something Smile
loopylori
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Wed May 25, 2005 1:16 pm      Reply with quote
Winnie wrote:
loopylori wrote:
rofl
I can be a bitch with the best of them. However I have personally never said that about an X myself. But then of course I was an innocent until I got married Liar (he's not an X yet, but he may be one day).


Usually a woman that said something like that to Zoe hasn't had a good --- in quite some time.

Pray Think I am hanging around you yougins too long. rofl But, I LOVE IT. Dancing

rofl
Winnie
You are a youngun.

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rosebud
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Wed May 25, 2005 2:43 pm      Reply with quote
Zoe every morning stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful, sexy, gorgeous you are.
Personally I would have been quite smug about what that lady said as when someone has to come back with nasty personal comments it always means they have lost. Also think of it this way if you were a man would you fancy her being so nasty???

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Zoe
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Thu May 26, 2005 1:53 am      Reply with quote
Thanks guys, I dunno why it got to me so much, I admit she did look good, I'm not even sure what exactly I did wasn't meant as anything nasty or offensive, perhaps whatever it was was taken the wrong way, I didn't have time to say anything she blurted out what wanted to say and then went - I like to think I'm beautiful person on the inside! I wouldn't dream of saying that to someone - sad things like blue skys, the birds singing and being healthy are more important to me than driving a BMW (sadly I did have a nice one that had to sell to buy my house) and immaculate face feeling I'm better than everyone else, I'm sad eh Laughing
I was more annoyed with myself that I let it get to me, I just felt a bit unfairly 'attacked' as I didn't do/mean anything nasty etc! Thanks girls, I'm over it now and helped getting it off my chest - wonder if my local college does a day make up course too...

Z
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Thu May 26, 2005 8:10 am      Reply with quote
When I was a kid we moved a lot, every six months I was in a different school, 13 elementry schools in 7 years, I *was* in one for a whole school season. I was terribly insecure always the new kid, never really getting to know anyone. One day I was walking home from school and an older boy said I was ugly, I was devastated and took it to heart for many years. The bottom line though is no-one is ugly, like Faith said, all women are beautiful, I truly beleive that. Some people just want to hurt others and know exactly how to do it.

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