Ladies how do you cheer up your man?
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free skin care · Thu Apr 10, 2008 12:32 am

I would only have to talk about Man Utd or football and golf and mine would cheer up in a flash Rolling Eyes

But of course, i never would Bad Grin

I would personally prefer to be left alone so I use that motto on other people unless I know different.

free skin care · Thu Apr 10, 2008 10:03 am

My guy's not a super-emotional specimen, but for a while he was feeling really discouraged when he was job-hunting and facing lots of rejections, and he also had a rough patch when he flew out to his grandfather's funeral.

For Situation A, I just reminded him very vocally how awesome he was at his job (he's a writer for video games), and how people who didn't see that had their corporate heads up their corporate asses, haha. I got really vocal about how much I loved {specific examples of his great writings and his application of his encyclopedic knowledge of good games} and that always helped to hear it from me.

And during Situation B, when I knew he was at a really depressing funeral/family gathering, I took a funny picture of a cat we always watch (it's our neighbor's cat, but we think of it as sort of ours too since it's always hanging out near our door, and doing funny things). And I PhotoShopped it since it was a tiny cell phone pic, and made a big circle around the cat and wrote in the text to show what he was doing, since you couldn't really tell. And it sounds goofy, but that little humor/inside joke made him call me almost in tears laughing -- I think he just needed SOMETHING happy in that sea of sadness, you know?

So for your man's situation, as horribly tough as that sounds, I'd just remind him how honest and awesome and genuine he is, and how as much as this sucks, his higher-road business ethics will win out in the end and how much you admire him for all those traits. And a little humor or inside joke can go a long way to put a smile on his face and remind him that he can laugh with you even when things suck.

Like you said, though, these things all pass -- my goofy antics might not be the right medicine for your guy, but these are just my ideas. I'm sure he'll manage to cheer up after this blow, and I'm sure it helps to have a supportive gal like you by his side! Good luck to you both, and I hope you can get away from the cheating partner and all his bad business vibes. Sad

That really sucks.

free skin care · Thu Apr 10, 2008 11:59 am

Hi Mummy
I know sometimes we hurt worse for our family members than for ourselves. I agree with everybody's advice above, plus my own 2cents:
Being quietly supportive & nonjudgmental. A backrub, a headrub with jojoba oil (guys love this), an offer to take a walk.... just to let him open up if he needs to.
If he is a man of faith, that can pull him through. A time for meditation is not always "ruminating". Sometimes a person just needs to process the pain personally. I know, this is just common sense, but bear with me...!
A physically taxing, busy-work job can burn off stress and anger. Or a good workout.
Be aware, as I'm sure you know already, that you have to get some distance from the problem yourself so that you don't become enmeshed in it and ineffective. Easy to say....
Not always offering to "fix" the problem is sometimes the best route, too.
HTH and I genuinely hope things get better! I've been thru the situation too of a family member's betrayal by partners, and unjustified loss of job. It sucks, but there it is & life's not fair, is it.
Best of luck to you both.
PS - my family member's situation finally became resolved, thru a ton of hard work and dedication to a completely new field of work. The new job is ever so much better than the previous one. A silver lining from a painful cloud!

free skin care · Thu Apr 10, 2008 11:59 am

My impression of men (DH included) is that they don't necessarily talk out their problems/feelings. When my DH is like that, I just try to be there for him in a quiet kind of way. For example, cook his favorite dinner, lighten his load at home, keep the kids a little quieter, give him hugs but also space, encourage him to watch or do something he really likes, talk about the subjects near and dear to his heart.

free skin care · Thu Apr 10, 2008 2:12 pm

Sounds like your man needs a nice relaxing day! Maybe on one of his days off you both can do something he enjoys. Like golfing, going to the movie...something in that nature? And maybe a nice dinner out, or you can cook for him... Then maybe give him a nice full body massage. He needs to do something to get his mind off things. That always cheers my man up..but everyone is different Smile

free skin care · Thu Apr 10, 2008 2:24 pm

Similar situation happened to my husband last year. Basically I just listened w/o any comments unless he asked me "Will you be mad too?" or "Am I over reacted?" And back off with other disagreement between us. To me, men just need somebody to listen to them especially for something they can not tell everybody.

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