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Tue Aug 15, 2006 4:53 pm  |
Hi im so confused i dont no where to turn and figured it mite be useful to get ppl i dont no and ppl outside of my relationships advice.
ah where to start
well im 18 years old and have been with my boyfriend 2 years we were at school together and now go to same university. its always been a bit rocky we r very diff. ppl have diff interests but the last few months have been so wrong  we argue a lot and our sex life i hate to admit is suffering at the moment because ive some how lost any interest in it.
dispite what it may appear i do really love him hes my 1st proper boyfriend , my first love.
but things between us has been bad the communtication is bad. and to make things worse i kinda met som1 else.
this other guy is a good friend we have lots in common and get on so well and i am attracted to him , he wants to be with me and is really sweet . i have kissed him amongst other things (no i havent slept with him) and my bf knows this (this isnt something i make a habit of )but still wants a relationship with me.
im just so confused whether to stay with my bf and try to make things work , or is there really no hope and should i move on with someone else as scary as it is. i just dont want to hurt either of them and cant believe wat a mess im in 
ide really apprieciate some advice
TIA  |
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Tue Aug 15, 2006 5:06 pm |
Hi Natz! I'll do my best to help, but ultimately only you can decide what is truly best for you. My general thought on the situation is that it sounds to me like it's time to move on. I know there are a few rare couples in the world that met their soul mates in high school, but it is extremely rare. I don't know what I would have done if I had met "the one" so early in life, because I can't imagine only experiencing a relationship with one person for my entire life. A person gains so much from dating other people and usually it allows them to get a better perspective on what they truly need and want in a mate.
If you decide that your boyfriend is not the one, you might not want to jump into a new exclusive relationship right away. I know some girls that went from guy to guy never experiencing life just on their own and I personally think that is a big mistake. Of course you still have plenty of time to be alone too, but my point is that you shouldn't be afraid of it. It's actually quite liberating!
My best advice is to look into your heart and you will know which guy (if either at this point) is best for you. I wish you all the best and please keep us updated!  |
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Tue Aug 15, 2006 5:12 pm |
awww thanx so much
u have just said exactly what im feeling.
i am still so young and to think this is the only guy i could ever date depresses me slightly.
if we do break up then i would take some time out for myself , i sometimes think i need to be on my own. its just rather scary , leaving the security and the only thing ive ever really known . but i guess its the surprises in life that make it worth living.
thanx again for ur advice
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Tue Aug 15, 2006 5:17 pm |
Anytime, and remember, you're never alone with EDS!
Now, as my grandmother used to say, "Go out and date as many guys as possible...and twins are even better!"  I had a crazy grandma! |
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Tue Aug 15, 2006 5:20 pm |
thank u , i love this site and u guys are the best
haha now she sounds like great fun
think ill have to get the hang of that again  lol
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Tue Aug 15, 2006 8:05 pm |
| It's funny how we always want we can't have youknow? Annyway, are you best friends with your first boyfriend? How close are you in that area? If the answer is not much, I would have to say cut it off. The best relationships are ones with an element of love and friendship. |
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Tue Aug 15, 2006 8:30 pm |
This is a very sticky situation, and I have to say I have been there before. This is my advice and looking back I wish I had someome give it to me, you are young, the last thing you need is to get caught up in an unpleasent relationship. You should be having fun and meeting people and most importantly enjoy being 18. Jumping into another relationship(especially a physical one)is probably the worst thing you can do, I know this might be scary but you should(if you decide to leave your bf)try being alone for a while. Get to know you, like you. I realize this is easier said than done but if you get stuck in this pattern of trying to grow up too soon or turning to a man to make you whole, your just setting yourself up for a life time of heartache. Having said all that just remember this, Love is suppose to feel good and make you happy, not make you hurt. Please keep us updated, we are here for support, take care!  |
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27~Texas~Oily~ fair~ breakout prone~ easily congested~Cysts caused by emotional stress~ Using Ayurvedic skin care and philosophy~ Dry brushing body and face~ On strict less is more routine~ We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars~ Oscar Wilde |
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Tue Aug 15, 2006 10:23 pm |
I 2nd Vonstellas advice.
It's not easy, and it hurts. But - you're 18. GO BE 18! There is an entire life of responsibilities & commitments. Enjoy your youth. Because before you know it you're looking at a much older woman in the mirror saying to yourself - when did this happen? where did the time go?
Lots of wisdom & caring on this forum, you're not without help, advice & a proverbial shoulder to cry on if needed. |
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Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. ~ Voltaire www.Candessence.com |
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Wed Aug 16, 2006 7:16 am |
| This is a very mature advise from Vonstella - and being 16 years older than her i'd give you the very same one. You can really take it from us, Turtle. |
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Wed Aug 16, 2006 8:12 am |
| Wow, does this bring back memories or what. I had my first serious relationship when I was 18, first love, first...(you fill in the blank). I did love him and was with him for 5 years. I lost interest after the 3rd or 4th year, but kept holding on because he was all I knew. We were growing apart and actually I was developing into a young adult while in college. In hindsight I did what was best for me which was to go our separate ways. In the end I still loved him, just not in love with him. |
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26, combination skin with oily t-zone |
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Wed Aug 16, 2006 11:37 am |
thanx guys i really apprieciate it,
i think being on my own for a while is my best option , i am good friends with my boyfriend but we r very different which can be a problem.
i no im still young and should be having fun but thats something i often forget lol
i am thinking about tryin a trial seperation let me find out who i am again and wat i need.
i will lets u all no how it goes
thanx again |
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Wed Aug 16, 2006 1:07 pm |
| Good luck, stay strong and true to yourself and you should be fine! |
_________________
27~Texas~Oily~ fair~ breakout prone~ easily congested~Cysts caused by emotional stress~ Using Ayurvedic skin care and philosophy~ Dry brushing body and face~ On strict less is more routine~ We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars~ Oscar Wilde |
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Caspers Mum
Moderator
 
Joined: 02 Nov 2002
Posts: 1694
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Wed Aug 16, 2006 1:39 pm |
As blunt as this may sound, I believe you've already answered your own question. Time to move-on. You're 18. There will be many guys in your life.
| Natz87 wrote: |
Hi im so confused i dont no where to turn and figured it mite be useful to get ppl i dont no and ppl outside of my relationships advice.
ah where to start
well im 18 years old and have been with my boyfriend 2 years we were at school together and now go to same university. its always been a bit rocky we r very diff. ppl have diff interests but the last few months have been so wrong we argue a lot and our sex life i hate to admit is suffering at the moment because ive some how lost any interest in it.
dispite what it may appear i do really love him hes my 1st proper boyfriend , my first love.
but things between us has been bad the communtication is bad. and to make things worse i kinda met som1 else.
this other guy is a good friend we have lots in common and get on so well and i am attracted to him , he wants to be with me and is really sweet . i have kissed him amongst other things (no i havent slept with him) and my bf knows this (this isnt something i make a habit of )but still wants a relationship with me.
im just so confused whether to stay with my bf and try to make things work , or is there really no hope and should i move on with someone else as scary as it is. i just dont want to hurt either of them and cant believe wat a mess im in
ide really apprieciate some advice
TIA |
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Thu Aug 17, 2006 7:22 am |
This thread is great for other girls who are going through the exact same thing right about now...
Who could that be now |
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Dreamycupid
New Member
Joined: 28 Mar 2006
Posts: 1
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Thu Aug 17, 2006 1:42 pm |
Omg, I thought I was alone on this one....I'm in the exact situation, except that I didn't meet/interested in any other guy. I'm 5 yrs older and I believe I'm having my quarter-life crisis...I've been w/ my bf for almost 3 yrs and repeating what Natz wrote..my bf and I are very different from each other, there's just no communication between us at all. he's lovesick for me and he's extremely nice. I've been trying to break up w/ him for so many times, but he's just too nice for me to break it off w/ him. I guess I'm too soft. Lately, my parents are pushing me to decide whether I should move on or work out the relationship, they think I shouldn't be wasting any more of his time and my time, because I'm going to be another year older next week. After all I'm not 18 any more.. so Natz, don't settle, there are plenty of things for you to explore out there...but I do think it's hard to break up w/ someone when u love them but not IN love w/ them, because I'm currently at this situation. I hope I'll be able to break it off w/ him soon (hopefully this week). I'll give you all updates later.
P.S. I feel so much love in this forum |
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Thu Aug 17, 2006 1:46 pm |
| awww im sorry to hear ur troubles dreamycupid , stay strong , if it has 2 be done the not much u can do . it is very hard especially when they are so in love and dont want to let u go but if ur mind is made up then go 4 it. my thoughts are with u |
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