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Sat Aug 26, 2006 6:50 pm  |
Anyone wish to share a few jokes? 
I know this is a bit long  , but kinda funny...
30 Great one liners
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1.. My Wife and I divorced over religious differences. I thought I was God and she didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe
10.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.
11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
19.. Procrastinate Now!
20.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
24.. They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.
25.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
26.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
27.. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
28.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
29.. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
30.. I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on. |
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Sat Aug 26, 2006 6:51 pm |
 They were so funny. |
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Sat Aug 26, 2006 9:15 pm |
One of my favorites was "Dogs have owners, Cats have staff!"  |
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Sun Aug 27, 2006 2:44 am |
| Very funny!!! Enjoyed every single one of them. |
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Tue Aug 29, 2006 10:46 am |
Those are cute.
My daughter saw this one and loves it...
I live in my own little world, but its okay, they know me there. |
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Thu Aug 31, 2006 1:07 pm |
| Thanks for sharing. Always need a laugh! |
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Thu Aug 31, 2006 1:09 pm |
I've enjoyed reading those before work - thank you.
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Sun Sep 03, 2006 11:57 am |
| Haha Those were funny |
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Sun Sep 03, 2006 2:00 pm |
Here's a couple more:
-I tried to contain myself, but I escaped.
-Reality is for people who lack imagination.
(Those were my bumper stickers in college). |
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Sun Sep 03, 2006 2:02 pm |
| -Where have you been all my life? Please go back there. |
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| Sat Apr 27, 2024 10:01 pm |
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