|
 |
Author |
Message |
|
|
Wed Nov 09, 2005 5:25 am |
i get really worried/angry/scared [don't know actually] when i hear people want to be lighter or bleach their skin etc. what is the reason behind this? i hope you people don't want to be white if you're not or you think that being lighter is better! are there any 'legitimate' reasons why someone might want to make their skin lighter [i don't know and hence am asking]? i want my skin to look the best it can, but i don't want to change the shade of it. i can understand if you want to make your skin tone even but not change the colour entirely. just remember michael jackson. that's the extreme of what happens if you have such complexes about the colour of you skin! [and the money to act that craziness out as well as people who won't say when you're being silly] |
|
|
|
|
Wed Nov 09, 2005 7:21 am |
I'm sure there are some legit reasons. But for some, yes, it's hard NOT to buy into the belief that lighter is better, prettier, whatever. That message is everywhere, but it's being tempered with reality albeit slowly. |
|
|
|
|
Wed Nov 09, 2005 7:48 am |
I have not thought of lightening my skin color but I think it's a cultural thing. For example,the traditional Chinese folks think that lighter skin symbolizes beauty and an upper caste system. In the anxient times, only farmers got tan b/c they had to work in the sun so if you were light then it implies that u don't have to work on the rice fields. This is what my mom told me. Hence, there's an eternal struggle for those darker Asians to try to be light. B/c although we don't really think of being tan in the same light as before, we still think that being fair skinned is prettier and more pristine. I know this b/c I'm rather tan myself and got teased by my fellow Chinese friends while growing up. They didn't say I was a farmer per se, but they did say I was dark. At one point in time I did feel like I had to hide from the sun but as I grew older, I have learned to love myself for who I am and what color I am. I think people in Asia still feel this type of pressure to be "light". I hope this helps u understand this desire to be light is very much a cultural thing.
HTH,
Anna |
_________________ 29, Asian, combo reactive skin. |
|
|
|
Wed Nov 09, 2005 8:07 am |
I think that alot of people who have hyper pigmentation on thier face benefit from skin lightening products. I also think there are some people who want lighter skin, but I think there are ALOT more people who want darker skin. So much in fact that tanning salons are making billions of dollars a year all over the world from people who are willing to risk skin cancer and premature ageing to achieve a darker skin color. I think that is even crazier  |
|
|
|
|
Wed Nov 09, 2005 8:50 am |
hayleighs_mom wrote: |
I have not thought of lightening my skin color but I think it's a cultural thing. For example,the traditional Chinese folks think that lighter skin symbolizes beauty and an upper caste system. In the anxient times, only farmers got tan b/c they had to work in the sun so if you were light then it implies that u don't have to work on the rice fields. This is what my mom told me. Hence, there's an eternal struggle for those darker Asians to try to be light. B/c although we don't really think of being tan in the same light as before, we still think that being fair skinned is prettier and more pristine. I know this b/c I'm rather tan myself and got teased by my fellow Chinese friends while growing up. They didn't say I was a farmer per se, but they did say I was dark. At one point in time I did feel like I had to hide from the sun but as I grew older, I have learned to love myself for who I am and what color I am. I think people in Asia still feel this type of pressure to be "light". I hope this helps u understand this desire to be light is very much a cultural thing.
HTH,
Anna |
Hi,
I think yusuf understands the reasons very well. It's not an intellectual question he has, I think, but more of an ethical and even philosophical one. The particular cultural issues may differ from country to country (the Japanese, Phillipinos, Indians, South Africans and many others also try in droves to lighten themselves and thus have turned the skin lightening/whitening/brightening industry into a huge one). But when you come down to it, the belief that light is better is a version of "white is right" manifested on our skin. The origins likely come from years of cultural oppression and domination by Europeans. I'm not sure if China is exempt from this.
So not only do we try to have lighter skin, but many try to also straighten our hair, "pinch" our noses and do other things to look less like what we truly are.
T |
|
|
|
|
Thu Nov 10, 2005 5:26 am |
i do understand why people want to be light. When there are babies in our family they say stupid things like "oh he/she is so fair isn't he/she pretty" or words to that effect. and okay i am considered fair in my family and was always told that i was good looking because of that. but i totally didn't understand it, the darker you got - it was considered dirty - and i never understood it and because it was a rejection in a way of who you are - in my family we are supposed to have colour on our skin (my family isn't white and it seemed silly that they expected [whiter] kids) and although they didn't think that about what they were doing, in effect they were saying that the more they looked white the better. yet at the same time they wanted to keep traditional values.
it was weird because as i grew up i was always considered the 'white' kid and at school people thought i didn't understand their problems because i didn't have those problems as i was fairer and they had darker skin. but the fact was that other people didn't see me that way. most people who are prejudiced don't see the shades of colour. just two. white and not white. so lighter and darker shades fall in to insignificance in a racist mind. i.e. no matter how light you become you won't be accepted as white to those people. you are fine as you are!
for example when people straighten their hair it is considered something to make you look 'normal' [the way hair should be] where as people do curl their hair but it considered going against the norm i.e. something wacky. like the gene that gives you curly hair is abnormal from the gene that gives you straight hair.
although there are people who want to be darker there is still a difference between a white person getting a tan and someone being black or brown. there are many racist/prejudiced people who wouldn't see them getting a tan is making them look ethnic. they don't consider being the white colour they are bad, whereas a dark person wanting to go light can't accept their skin colour. it is different. does that make sense?
rambling away.
i see threads about this all the time, and i wanted to know whether there were other reasons why people were doing it (hyper-pigmentation or others) or are these threads written by people who have fallen to believe that white is right and unless they fair down they don't think they'll be accepted. |
|
|
yellow_gal
New Member
 
Joined: 22 May 2004
Posts: 8
|
|
|
Fri Nov 11, 2005 9:35 pm |
yeh i agree with it being a cultural issue...
but i know with me.. i don't really like my "yellow skin" colour (although im chinese which it is normal to have "yellow skin")..but seeing that nearly all my friends have nice white skin (they are all chinese too)...i feel myself as being very dark & not so attractive.
i always think that having nice white skin looks nice in any colour clothing (compared to my yellow skin which makes me look not so attractive in colour liek yellow, white etc)...any shade of hair (having red hair for eg makes me look tanned)... & i think most asian guys (when u ask them what they like about girls) will say nice white skin.
Also, looking at japanese girls...most of them have very nice white skin and a lot of china girls (beijing, shanghai, northern china) all have really nice white skin..and i think that is considered very attractive to chinese guys.
maybe i guess its also personal preference... all my friends have really nice white skin... makes me so envy them... we're all from the same place...hk... but dunno why my skin is so yellow/dark but their skin is so white...
that's my personal reason for wanting lighter/whiter skin anyway~ |
|
|
|
|
Fri Nov 11, 2005 10:54 pm |
Yusofosman,
Your posts make me smile inside because they show me, once again, that I think against the grain.
While others envy white, I envy color. I work with a woman whose heritage has blessed her with the most beautiful brown skin, the shiniest black hair, and the roundest black eyes, that I routinely tease her about how jealous she makes me. I also envy the richness of dark skin and its resilence to age. To me, the more a face reveals its ancestors and its culture, the more stunning it is. In fact, I recently spent some time with my Italian relatives and I found myself "disappointed" that I had been "diluted" by the other side of my family!
Not long ago, I returned to my natural dark blonde from years of going Barbie blonde, and feel prettier than I have in a long time. I've come to realize it's because my natural hair color accentuates my olive skin and almond-shaped eyes, the two "gifts" I inherited from the Italian side.
You got me thinking about the entertainers that I consider most beautiful, and, again, they are women of culture --- Halle Barry, Alicia Keys, Sophia Loren, Eva Longoria...
So anyway, thank you for encouraging this thought and discussion... and please understand that "fair," for people like me, hardly means "light." |
_________________ 36, skin in a "new" phase? Oil/break-out free but now having bouts of sensitivity and surface dehydration. |
|
|
|
Sat Nov 12, 2005 8:42 am |
I feel that "whitening" is a misleading name. I don't see tanning called "darkening" or even "blackening" either. Do these people who tan want to look African American?
I don't know any products that actually erase the yellow tone of an asian and makes them have a caucasian's skin tone. I just consider it a product to fade scars and help even a skin tone to one color. |
|
|
|
|
Sat Nov 12, 2005 9:04 am |
sernx wrote: |
I feel that "whitening" is a misleading name. I don't see tanning called "darkening" or even "blackening" either. Do these people who tan want to look African American?
I don't know any products that actually erase the yellow tone of an asian and makes them have a caucasian's skin tone. I just consider it a product to fade scars and help even a skin tone to one color. |
Actually "whitening" is rather accurate - because that's what it is. For the reasons described above, white people in general are thought to be prettier and more attractive. That's the result of hundreds of years of cultural dominance. Many non whites are trying to be like whites by looking like they look. Yellowgal is an example of this (no offense, because I'll admit I'm another example).
When white people tan, it isn't the same issue. You can't just switch roles and say they must want to be black. |
|
|
|
|
Sat Nov 12, 2005 9:39 am |
That was the point I was trying to make. When people who aren't white use products they are doing so because they want to be white as it is inherently more attractive to them. Whereas people who tan don't neccesarily want to be black. They just wanna be white with a tan. The large majority wouldn't want you to think they are black. Whereas people who 'whiten' are doing so because they feel that by doing so they will be more accepted (as being white is more accepted to them)
I don't want to be white myself, I like my colour, my dark features and my interesting face. It isn't beautiful if you think Hollywood is beautiful. But I don't. And I do think that I am beautiful. And if you are good, and look hard as I do, you'll see the beauty in people regardless of what they look like, because, and okay not ALL the time, but generally I look at someone and find 'their thing'. Everyone has a thing, something (both physical and mental) that gives them their unique beauty. And if we all learn to play with that, appreciate it, love it and nurture it we will be better, people. Better looking, better loving, and better caring.
I don't want to sound all self help booky. But I probably am anyway.
Yellowgal - if you think whit skin looks good in all colours, that is just wrong. And why would that be the be all, end all. People who are really fair have lots of problems with colours and can look faded with certain colours. So again it comes to realising what good features you have, what suits your body, push yourself to be the best that you can be, pamper yourself (great believer!) and you will be beautiful.
That's how I see it anyways.
LandB - you are wise to envy brown skin - I love mine Maybe in another life you will be blessed with it too. Tee hee. |
|
|
|
|
Sat Nov 12, 2005 9:46 am |
TooInvolved wrote: |
When white people tan, it isn't the same issue. You can't just switch roles and say they must want to be black. |
I'm trying to say that people who tan are NOT trying to look black. Just as many people who use whitening products are NOT trying to look white. |
|
|
|
|
Sat Nov 12, 2005 12:16 pm |
sernx> i am not worried about people who don't want to be white/black by tanning/whitening. obviously those people are of no concern. but people who are changing their skin colour because they are not happy with who they are and think by being lighter(darker) they'll be beautiful. |
|
|
|
|
Sat Nov 12, 2005 1:06 pm |
I think this is a very controversial topic. I see it this way. Skin lightening is another cosmetic way of enhancing one's appearance. The same argument can be made for those who choose to get a nose job, a boob job, etc. I don't think anyone should judge others simply by his/her desire to change his/her appearance. It's his/her body and it's his/her perogative. There could be a million reasons why the individual wants to change a certain aspect of themselves. Who are we to question the reasoning behind it?  |
_________________ 29, Asian, combo reactive skin. |
|
|
|
Sat Nov 12, 2005 4:59 pm |
Nicely said hayleighs_mom
I hope everyone can appreciate themselvs just the way they are...easier said than done  |
_________________ Simple but No Simplier...Approaching late 20s, Normal/Combination Skin, Rarely Breakout now but have some old acne marks, sunspots, & broken caps |
|
|
|
Sat Nov 12, 2005 5:03 pm |
sernx wrote: |
TooInvolved wrote: |
When white people tan, it isn't the same issue. You can't just switch roles and say they must want to be black. |
I'm trying to say that people who tan are NOT trying to look black. Just as many people who use whitening products are NOT trying to look white. |
I'm with you on the first part. Those who tan are obviously not trying to look black. But I disagree with the second part - I believe many people who use whitening products are essentially trying to look white. |
|
|
|
|
Sat Nov 12, 2005 5:37 pm |
I think this is a very controversial topic. I see it this way. Skin lightening is another cosmetic way of enhancing one's appearance. The same argument can be made for those who choose to get a nose job, a boob job, etc. I don't think anyone should judge others simply by his/her desire to change his/her appearance. It's his/her body and it's his/her perogative. There could be a million reasons why the individual wants to change a certain aspect of themselves. Who are we to question the reasoning behind it?
enhancing your appearance is great, we all want to look the best we can. but trying to enhance yourself to something that i. isn't real, ii. you are not and iii. is a white/eurocentric view of beauty then there is obviously something wrong with that and should there be a thriving industry which is basically telling people that they need to be white? it is because of this inherent message in whitening products that i question its validity and ethics behind it. there could be a million reasons why someone might want to change themselves, but only one reason why they would want to be lighter. |
|
|
yellow_gal
New Member
 
Joined: 22 May 2004
Posts: 8
|
|
|
Sat Nov 12, 2005 6:55 pm |
hayleighs_mom wrote: |
I think this is a very controversial topic. I see it this way. Skin lightening is another cosmetic way of enhancing one's appearance. The same argument can be made for those who choose to get a nose job, a boob job, etc. I don't think anyone should judge others simply by his/her desire to change his/her appearance. It's his/her body and it's his/her perogative. There could be a million reasons why the individual wants to change a certain aspect of themselves. Who are we to question the reasoning behind it?  |
totally agree~
the same argument applies for those who want to get boob job, double eyelids, nose job or even dyed hair... it just all comes down to what the individual view as being "beautiful" and trying their best to fulfill their "ideal
image of being beautiful especially if you are surrounded by a culture who view white skin as beautiful skin (eg japan,hk,china,korea --> you can see that most of their famous stars have really nice clear white skin). For me, i can't totally agree with the opinion that eg chinese people want to be whiter so they can be more more like european ppl,i think its more the fact that.. you see a lot of girls in your own culture having nice/white skin (natural) and you just start to wonder to yourself why am i so different? my "yellow" skin tone seems so wrong to me, even "dirty" in a sense...compared to girls around me. Of course, there are many chinese gals with "yellow" undertone skin.. and still look great... but in my eyes (personal opinion), white skin girls (for asian ppl) are more beautiful anyway. However, i feel for non-asian ppl, they look totally great whether they are "white" or "dark/olive/tanned" ...so maybe my perspective only really applies to whiter skin for asian ppl.
yes, maybe this concept of trying to become something you're not born to be...is wrong. But then, how is this any different from ppl eg bleaching their hair blonde, when they're naturally born with brown hair or why people get double eyelids when they're born with single eyelids. i feel that isn't very "real" either... but its just personal choice..because everyone has a different concept of what is "beautiful" to them or what they need to do to be "beautiful" in their own minds, not everyone is blessed with good looks or even looks that you can be satisfied with.. thats why cosmetics/skin care/plastic surgery industry is thriving so much.
But of course, i agree with learning to "love" yourself for who you are.. and being satisfied & realising that everyone is beautiful in their own unique way even if they aren't "stereotypically" what you woudl call beautiful... maybe i'm still young but i know i am trying to understand/realise it myself too... and hopefully in time i will learn to "love" myself more for who i am... but in the meanwhile..i guess it doesn't hurt to improve yourself in these kinda ways...? esp if it will help yourself with self-esteem issues... and just becomes a form of "self-improvement" for me anyway  |
|
|
|
|
Sun Nov 13, 2005 4:31 pm |
my point is that if people are trying to lighten their skin because they want to be, basically white as white is better (for whatever reason) then should a industry be allowed to boom on the back of racist exploitation in some form. plastic surgery has its valid place, but do whitening products have a place on the market, where in essence they are encouraging people, or at least re-affirming the fact that lighter is better.
no one here is questioning what people are doing, people can do whatever they want. what i was wondering is that if they reason why (and to me it seems that way - no one has given me any other answers) people want to lighten their skin is because they think lighter is better, should that be something that is encouraged by the beauty industry. |
|
|
|
|
Mon Nov 14, 2005 3:58 pm |
I was the exsct opposite, when I was growing up I wanted to be darker. Like, I seriously would wish my skin was darker and I would tan it to the extreme and use extremely dark make-up. In highschool kids used to pick on me cause of it..However I have gotten over that phase...Every now and then I use self tanner to make my skin look a little tanner or will use bronzer makeup, but that's about it... |
_________________ Mostly Normal Skin, 23 |
|
|
|
Mon Nov 14, 2005 4:26 pm |
yusufosman wrote: |
my point is that if people are trying to lighten their skin because they want to be, basically white as white is better (for whatever reason) then should a industry be allowed to boom on the back of racist exploitation in some form. plastic surgery has its valid place, but do whitening products have a place on the market, where in essence they are encouraging people, or at least re-affirming the fact that lighter is better.
no one here is questioning what people are doing, people can do whatever they want. what i was wondering is that if they reason why (and to me it seems that way - no one has given me any other answers) people want to lighten their skin is because they think lighter is better, should that be something that is encouraged by the beauty industry. |
Honestly, I think that many things that are advertised or seen directly on a daily basis in our media and society is not right. So while whitening products may not be right, they are also not directly advertised in a blatant way all over. However, things such as self-tanners, breast growth products/implants, lip plumpers, weight-reducing methods are directly advertised. However, I would agree that the idea of lighter skin is advertised indirectly in our media and society. I mean if you look at what race Hollywood is predominantly made up of, it is white. The few that are of other races, for example the black people (esp. women) who are extremely popular are of lighter skin (i.e. Beyonce, Halle, Tyra, etc.)
But in regards to whether or not it should be encouraged is a tough one because while it shouldn’t, it would be very hard to change it. I mean in my opinion there are so many things that are influenced in our society that I feel are not right. For example, plastic surgery has become so huge and popular. It has indirectly become the “in” thing. Which, I feel is so wrong. We have shows all over that are promoting the idea of taking an “ugly-duckling”, getting them plastic surgery so they become “beautiful”, and then their whole life changes for the better. I honestly feel that screws us up as a society., especially women. I don’t know how many women on EDS can agree with me, but I know for myself and other girls we have all sat there and thought “well if I got this done, how much better would I look.” It takes girls who are normal looking and who’s features fit well together and makes us wonder…. about enhancing this or eliminating that. I mean to a degree this forum promotes all that. All this beauty stuff overall is sad because it makes us all want to change this or improve that. But that is the kind of society we live in, and while some may want to change it, it is very hard too and overtime the majority of people get brain washed without even realizing it.
For example take diapers: I have never purchased them, or really had to use them. I don’t have any kids, never had brothers or sisters, and never really did babysitting. However, if someone were to ask me what brand of diapers were good, I would say Pampers or Huggies, although I don’t really know. While I can’t think of any exact advertising for those brands, I do know the consistency of seeing it advertised or mentioned throughout my whole life is what makes me think they are good brands. |
_________________ Mostly Normal Skin, 23 |
|
|
|
Mon Nov 14, 2005 4:59 pm |
Quote: |
yusufosman man wrote:
although there are people who want to be darker there is still a difference between a white person getting a tan and someone being black or brown. there are many racist/prejudiced people who wouldn't see them getting a tan is making them look ethnic. they don't consider being the white colour they are bad, whereas a dark person wanting to go light can't accept their skin colour. it is different. does that make sense" |
I agree with you on this…there is a total difference in a person getting a tan and being another race…like I mentioned earlier when I was younger I used to use dark make-up and tan my skin to the extreme, not because I just wanted a tan, but I was hoping to achieve the look of another race…basically I wanted to be African-America mixed looking. As a matter of fact I used to tell people that I was Chinese, White, and Black and they would believe it. Nowadays, I am happy with who I am and how I look (for the most part)…I think every girl has her “I’m ugly” days. And when I want to use tanning products it is for the sake of wanting to look tan, not wanting to look another race. So I believe that while whitening/lightening skin can be a more touchy/sensitive/racially derived issue some people may just want their skin to look somewhat lighter/brighter just for that sake, but still be their race, while others may want it in hopes of passing for another race…. |
_________________ Mostly Normal Skin, 23 |
|
|
|
Tue Nov 15, 2005 4:17 am |
i guess there are two sides to every story. i like to have healthy discussion. i don't like it when everytime a question is asked people say who are we to question, let people do what they want.
it is better to discuss things, cause a stir and have more people think about what they are doing, then to keep it buried and not talked about.
i guess there are many facets to why people don't want to be the person that they are. i went through that phase too. that was because i thought that the person i was, was not interesting enough to be liked. i was not confident in myself to realise my qualities. i wanted to be more ethnic, from another country, more intersting heritage, when in fact i was a brown kid growing up in a deprived area but not from a deprived background and was hanging out with with people who had lots of money, influential parents, CEOs, Pricesses, Presidents daughters e.t.c and had interesting lives, lived all over the world blah blah. only now at 22 did i start to accept myself as fine as i am.
i think one of the stark realisitions i made, is that to some extent, we all bolster our persona and that really the person we are inside tends not to be the person that we are outside. and it was okay for me to not be totally comfortable with myself, because everybody else was probably doing the same thing! |
|
|
Lil' Fi
New Member
 
Joined: 23 Nov 2005
Posts: 1
|
|
|
Wed Nov 23, 2005 1:32 pm |
When you grew up with people all around you believing that fair is beautiful, and when they look at you saying something like "oh, you are so sweet BUT you're dark", then you WILL grow up wanting to have a fair skin. In my country, fair is best, the fairer you are, the prettier you are. I have dark skin, and when I use whitening product, I DO WANT TO HAVE FAIR SKIN, I'm not just playing and pretending to have fair skin fo a while and then go back to my dark skin.[/quote] |
|
|
lila1284
New Member
 
Joined: 01 Jan 2006
Posts: 1
|
|
|
Sun Jan 01, 2006 11:11 pm |
Hello all, I came to this forum just randomly as I was looking for a moisturizer. But I realized I cannot leave without saying a few words.
I am of the Indian race (not native american, from the subcontinent). purebred South Indian. I've read all the posts above, and I'm amazed. It's interesting to see all these different views of skin color. And i thought i'd add mine to the mix.
Well, I'm dark skinned, for an Indian. Normally, south indians are darker-skinned. My mother has light indian skin color, while my dad has dark skin. During my entire lifetime, I've never really obsessed over it, but it has always been in the back of my mind. Because as I was growing up, my grandmother, her sisters, my cousins, my uncles and aunts always used to tell me "oh she is so dark, it's because of her father. But still, she has such beautiful features." well in our native language, they don't even refer to it as "dark", but as "black". "She is soo black, but still she has very nice features." I faced these comments everyday, but I still felt beautiful. And they always compared me to my sister, who was much more lighter than me. And the South Indian Sun didn't help! I remember my mother had made all this concoctions, home remedies to make me lighter.
And all the indian clothes would look so much better on my sister, because of her honey-colored skin. While mine was dark brown. All the baby blues, all the bright pinks, oranges, and even black clothes looked so radiant on her, whereas on me they just accentuated the darkness of my skincolor. Although nobody pointed this out to me, once I had reached the age when I'd start worrying about my appearance, I'd pay a lot of attention to the colors of my clothes. And I'd avoid all these colors. And the worst was when we'd look at photos of ourselves after some big occasion, I always had this thought imprinted ...i dont look good in pictures because of my dark skin. So whenever people would take pictures, I actually started making the effort to make sure the flash was on, or that the photo taker was positioned correctly with light facing me. it's crazy i know. but it almost happens subconsciously. I'd never let anybody know that I was doing this intentionally, because I didn't want people to know that I'm conscious of my skin color.
All in all, although I do have big nice eyes, cute little nose, nice cheeks, and pouty lips and skintone that is even in color... I still feel as if my dark skin color will be the true imperfection in me forever. I feel as if it'll be the thing that sets me apart from the drop dead gorgeous women. I mean, not that I want to be one, because they have their own problems because they're drop dead gorgeous. But that it'll be my psychological awareness of my appearance.
All my friends, well I can't say all of them, two or four of them (nonindian friends) have said to me, "Oh my god, you should be like a beauty queen. You should run for Miss America or Miss India because you're tall and beautiful." But i know to myself, that's just a fantasy for me, because when they say that to me, I think to myself maybe if i had light skin.
And I also wanted to say a few things about males. I've noticed, in my life, that White men, Black men, Hispanic men, Middle Eastern men have always told me they thought that I was a pretty to gorgeous girl, and they'd say "it's not just your eyes, it's your whole thing." except for hispanic men prefer a booty that i dont got . But when it came to men who were Indian or Pakistani (collectively referred to as 'desi'), they'd always say to me, you're really cute for a South Indian girl. or it's just something about your eyes. Because in desi minds, white is beautiful and there's no other way about it. When I say white, I dont mean white like caucasian white, but just pale white like almost that of the chinese white skin color. And these were the guys that were my constant reminder of my indianness in me. That there's really no running from it. just accept it! I went through a period when I tried to lighten my skin, but it really didn't work. and i started reading all this stuff about how its bad. so i just quit on changing my color and just accepting it.
If you were to ask me, how would you describe your perfect man? Honestly, I would prefer a man who is tall, dark and handsome, but NOT REALLY DARK. Because I dont want my children to be dark. it's so stupid. but it's just what my mind's been molded into.
When other Indian girls give me compliments on how nice a look at a certain occasion in my indian clothes, I am always so paranoid. I just can't help it. I'm paranoid that they're just fakely saying it and being "nice". Because the perfect indian skin color for the nicest indian clothes is the oh-so-revered honey color or just white. Which I dont have. And when I go shopping in Indian stores, I'm always choosing my clothes not based on the design, quality, make, blah blah, but does it look good with my skin color??
You know when you're growing up, you have sleepovers with a whole lotta of makeup and criticism about one another. And my Indian girlfriends often used to say to me, "oh you're really pretty compared to me, but I have lighter skin. so ha!" well not in those exact words but the same idea. (or atleast that's how i heard it in my head hahah). Now i somehow still feel inferior to the girls who are lighter than me. I really can't explain it.
So as a final note... does the world REALLY want to change the ideology of white is supreme and everlastingly beautiful, and black is the color that will never be as pretty as white? personally I dont think so. The world likes the way it is right now.
look at the "hottest and most desired women" now: beyonce, alicia keys, halle berry, eva longoria, jennifer lopez, whoever else . because these girls are not really dark. they're of a color appreciated by most of the world. which is light brown to honey-ish.
I have never seen OPRAH, AISHA TAYLOR, KELLY FROM DESTINY'S CHILD on the "hottest and most desired women" list. These women are sooo beautiful, yet very dark. and for that reason, they'll never the MOST desired. always be second best (or maybe third best).
There's my two cents!
|
|
|
|
Wed Aug 27, 2025 11:26 pm |
If this is your first visit to the EDS Forums please take the time to register. Registration is required for you to post on the forums. Registration will also give you the ability to track messages of interest, send private messages to other users, participate in Gift Certificates draws and enjoy automatic discounts for shopping at our online store. Registration is free and takes just a few seconds to complete.
Click Here to join our community.
If you are already a registered member on the forums, please login to gain full access to the site. |
|
 |
 |
|