Desensitized children and young adults
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free skin care · Wed Oct 03, 2012 8:31 am

I have read the posts and have hesitated to weigh in. It is such a hard/controversial topic to fully discuss in a forum such as this and give it the attention needed to bring you peace in a simple answer.But I wanted to add my opinion from a recent discussion I just gave on this particular subject.
There is a balance and it is very difficult thing to do. To have compassion, yet have strong self-preservation. To have innocence but with reality, compassion with a healthy bit of cynicism. Each has to compliment the other in order to help a child grow into a HEALTHY adult that feels empathy and love but yet is strong, competent and confident. It's what I wished for as a parent, as do most parents I would think.
There has been an aim for this sense of balance since the dawn of time, but with the media and Internet it just brings it "more in your face" I suppose.
AS it was pointed out earlier,life has always been filled with brutal acts and barbaric customs, although many at the time were not percieved as such, and it's only in the re-telling do we see the error of our ways and the injustices.
But yet in todays times, I see/hear wonderful stories and acts of kindness daily and in those moments, I am in awe and grateful for that glimpse of humanity. It restores my faith and keeps me striving to be a "good and kind" person.
All you can do is to control your own thoughts and teach/lead by example, wisdom and courage and hopefully influence your own household.
As my father once told me about WWII and war in general, "Imagine at age 15, given a rifle and told to shoot/capture that scared and hungry little boy looking back at you in the name of war, or you would be killed/captured. The taking of a life is a serious thing. You put aside that grief for your loss of innocence in the name of survival and then pray that one day you will be forgiven. And you just come to terms with it in your heart and mind in a way that makes your burden easier to carry because it never leaves you. To do so would be an justice to yourself and those lives you have taken. You are forever changed by that one act but you strive to be a better person for the change." That has always stayed with me and I grieve for the young people who become adults in the hardest of times and under the darkest of circumstances.
But the reality of life is that it IS hard/harsh and to teach that it is all light, love and equality does does not do any justice either. Chlorophyll makes some good points on being raised Southern, which I am. It took a long time personally (and a psychology degree) to undo the victim mentality beat into me by good manners and silence of a strong Southern Babtist/small town rearing. Now I take a "do unto others but leave me the hell alone and we will all get along" sense of self. I treat everyone kindly but take no crap. It serves me better(personally) and I am proud that I can speak my mind and stand up for myself when need be.
The world doesn't owe us/our children fairness as much as we would like it so and the lessons can be painful in the learning of it.
I worked at the Battered Women's Center with abused children many years ago, that was my specialty. Talk about being desensitized. The best you can hope to teach a child is to be a survivor (not a victim)with a sense of worth and that not everywhere is a monster under the bed. You have to look for the good in YOUSELF.
Interesting conversation here and there are no easy answers/solutions. I can just tell you in my humble opinion, there are good and compassionate people/children out there and I am proud to know many.
Being also a minister, this is a topic that we discuss often.
Having said all of that, you know what example scares but yet heartens me the most? How quickly our cities can turn to total anarchy in times of disaster/crisis such as the example of Katrina and New Orleons. But on the flip side, how overcome with emotion and hope in the gracious way that the Japanese people dealt with the Tsunami aftermath. And yet some heroes and great stories of courage and compassion arose out of both disasters.
I suggest you check out a wonderful facebook page dedicated to re-connecting with your loved ones/children in times such as these. Being "Hands Free" is a good first step.
https://www.facebook.com/#!/TheHandsFreeRevolution?fref=ts
Faith and hope, Skincare, faith and hope. That's my daily mantra. Keep the faith!!!

free skin care · Wed Oct 03, 2012 9:42 am

Great write up AnnieR. I share a lot of the same views as you but could never have expressed my opinion so elegantly. Smile

free skin care · Thu Oct 04, 2012 12:48 pm

Quote:

Exactly BC Girl. And there's a lot of Southern women that I know personally (and men for that matter) that say Ma'm to your face and will put a knife to your back the moment you turn

Yes this, i CAN NOT stand. I grew up in a smaller town too...but the racism I saw was appalling. People would keep their mouths shut in public, but crack jokes amongst their family/friends at home, write nasty racist remarks in bathroom stalls etc. all the while pretending to be a do good church goer.
Also with technology...there is the good and the bad. Yes due to internet it's easier for our kids to gain access to more graphic sex and violence with a click of a button...but on the flip side, kids these days have more tools to make more educated decisions than before about the world they live in based on their info they have gathered from exchanging ideas in the cyber world to form their own ideas instead of listening to whatever the corporations or people of power want you to feed your heads with. When once upon a time consumers trusted corporations, now we see a trend where people are more aware of the world around and therefore have more choices in products. We particularly see this in the newer generation. They are more aware of what certain things are doing to the environment we live in and more inclined to take action in topics such as global warming, the gay movement, feminist movement, animal welfare etc whereas we saw previous generations oblivious to these causes. The vast amount of knowledge we have learned from exchanging information in the cyber world wouldn't move revolutions like these this fast if it weren't for the internet. Also I do want to share a story of a tragic story that turned good in the city I live in. Last year the hockey team Canucks from Vancouver Canada made it to the stanley cup. The whole world was watching as riots throughout the city brought embarrassment and shame to our city when our team lost. How can people in this day and age act so barbaric? Although there was a lot of drunk stupid kids in that riot blowing up police cars, armed with weapons, causing chaos just for the hell of it.... there was more good kids that were around taking out their iphone and taking pictures and videos...went back home and posted these losers on facebook and plastering their faces all over the internet. The next day an estimated 15,000 young people from all over the city took the day off work to volunteer to clean up the city from the mess of the night before. More than 1 million photos/footages were sent to police by citizens. Due to the vast amount community participation in helping the police, countless pictures from facebook and other social media sites, police were able to track down these hooligans and charges have been made for many of these people that participated in the rioting. Also, i should mention back in 1994 the exact same scenario happened...Canucks lost the stanley cup at the last game and a riot happened. Unfortunately mobile phone w/ cameras/videos weren't invented then and police weren't able to do as much in terms of convictions as they are now with technology. So yes, there are bad seeds out there...but i still believe in the goodness of man as was shown by the generous amount of help and support some of these kids have shown out of the goodness of their hearts to help restore the city

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